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gravity
its certainty is puzzling
the way it attracts something
towards its center

it holds me down
until i drown
in worlds where words
can't lift me up no longer

gravity is certain
but i'm a skeptic
so i stand here
where my feet don't adhere
to the ledge of the 25th floor

[i want to test it]
See the sunken face of nature,
Hear her shrieking, fraught with woe,
At the city's neon hubris,
Giving off its chilling glow.

See the formless mass of people,
Hear the spinning potter's wheel,
Watch the shape of people changing,
As ideas become real.

See them dancing a quick tango,
Hear them whispering sweet lies,
Wearing masks upon their faces,
Wearing mirrors in their eyes

Living life just for survival, and
Pursuit of mindless pleasure,
While amassing status symbols,
Has become the one true measure, of

A culture whose existence,
Works toward its own demise,
Climbing down a burning ladder,
Numb to touch, and deaf to cries.
Please tell me what I've done
is it my name
is it my hard
I'm sorry it's not like yours
I'm sorry it's different
I've tried hard
to be like all of you
that maybe one day
I'll walk with all of you
but I've worked so hard
done so much
and I'm still no closer to heaven
nowhere close to heaven
maybe.
just maybe
I can go back to sleep
Please, let me sleep.
my grip is slipping
I shut my mouth
and burn inside
all of the things
I just can't hide
the rules of life
I can't abide

So please

Someone stop
my burning star
from burning up
my bleeding heart
*collapses internally*
You tell me not to worry
as if it's something I can turn off
like it's something to get over
like it's something I should just
stop

You tell me to stop worrying
but that's like telling me to stop breathing

And all I want to say is I've tried both
and neither worked out.
maybe I will stop worrying someday
People say I'm lonely
but underneath gales and waves of solitude
I am not lonely
I am alone.

Just as I should be
I hear your words fly around me
As if I'm oil in the sea of people

But I am the blinding lightning
I am the roaring winds
I am the torrential downpour
and I am sorry

I am sorry for all of me
I am sorry for all my screams
that thundered through your skies

I am sorry for my tides.
Tides of love that flooded
through your veins

I am sorry for all of me.
But light comes.
My winds fall silent.
Light breaks through my skin.
Thunder and Lightning disappear

So please, stop worrying
I am dying down.
Just please, wait me out.
It's that season again here in the Philippines.
We don't get better.

We just get used to the hurt.
People ask me
where I get the courage
to do the things I do
like jump down 5 flights of stairs
or juggle knives
or run through rush hour traffic
but they don't know
That I wouldn't mind
if things went wrong
sometimes

**I hope they do
from 2012
"I forgot about my blood"
Whispered under breath
with eyes quaking
skin laced with sweat
grime
breaths deep and labored
surrounded by white
tiled walls
painted with crimson brush strokes
of tattered knuckles
"I swear, I really forgot"
I go from angry to guilty real fast
I've been to places unimaginable

I've fought beast on planes unfamiliar

killed demons within

walked on fields of glass

and waded through oceans of fire

only to not love you

but I still do.
from the bank

— The End —