And some days
I am nothing more
Than a refusal to be
Another poorly written suicide note

I binge eat on all possible junk food,
It inexplicably elevates my mood,
Now trapped by people ceaselessly commenting on my increasing weight,
Does anyone else feel like they are putting food in a body they now absolutely hate?
I can’t stop.

When will I be able to put them to rest,
These monsters in my head.
Why can't I stop my mind from tormenting me and let it go,
Just as easily as people tell me so.

They say there’s beauty
In pain
But what is beautiful
About sitting on the bathroom floor,
Tears dripping
Into a puddle of blood,
And crying
Until your breath stops?

If maybe I could somehow stop my thinking,
I could save myself from sinking,
My life feels like a futile struggle in quick sand,
Oh how I wish my feet could feel some solid land!
All these breakdowns and self harm is my heart crying in despair,
I'm afraid my life is beyond repair.
In need of help but your attention I cannot steer,
How do I make myself disappear?