I was never a girl who revealed her crushes
Play my cards close to the vest
Heart beating in hush- hushes
Don’t reveal any unrest.
Don’t feel aloud-
Someone might hear.
Don’t think too loud
You might disappear.
To hear would destroy
The labyrinth between you and I
To know would demolish
My tower of Babel to the sky.
You can see the self that is but a part of me
Once the defense, now captor-
Imprisoned and I’ve swallowed the key
And there I remain hereafter.
I lie staring at the ceiling
I cannot speak
Words dancing, stomping, skin is peeling
Still not a peep.
I’m screaming and shouting and asserting and demanding-
My mouth is cement.
I’m clarifying, elaborating, divulging and expressing-
I make no lament.

I had to remember to forget
The howling rustle of the leaves
The chaos from the T.V. set

I saw the shapeless silhouette
That crept behind the dancing trees
I had to remember to forget

All is not over yet
More howling as the widow grieves
The chaos from the T.V. set

She is left cold and hungry and wet
Cursing those ****** thieves
I had to remember to forget

That innocent, frail brunette
Wiping her eyes with her billowy sleeves
The chaos from the T.V. set

She smokes another cigarette
Ashes fall onto bruised knees
I had to remember to forget
The chaos from the T.V. set

I first felt it in the morning
My fear progressed with the day
I knew behind me something was creeping
Why won’t it go away?
No matter how fast I ran I could not escape it-
It would not escape me.
It must be amused at my lack of wit
I can’t figure out how to flee.
I run in circles and cut corners
I try to hide but everything seems sheer
I am about to exceed my own fearsome borders
When will the feeling disappear?
As night comes the darkness takes over
Still afraid, but in this I’m not alone.
My stalker can no longer hover
Now that the sun is no longer shown

His breath lifts me higher
His touch like candle to fire
I can’t stand the heat
Or the tingling in my feet
When you touch me
There’s only
Desire.

The kind words make me cry
I remember the joy they used to bring me
When I hear his soft words
I just want to die
Please wake up the love within me.
If I said I didn’t love you
Would it be a lie
If I told you I hated you
Would it make you cry
If I said it was over
Would you put up a fight
If I said I'm not afraid to lose you
Would you believe I was right?

I cradle my blanket as close as I can
I close my eyes and pretend it’s your hands
I cover myself
Wrapped up so tight
And pretend that you’re holding me all through the night
Despite my best efforts, I’m left feeling cold
I cannot be warmed while out of your hold