After your death
I'm rummaging through the drawers
for your bottle of Vicodin
hoping your ghost
isn't watching.

Why can I never stay clean?
Is it because I'm weak?
I see myself like your husband
in 20 years
a tired young drunk
sick of feeling old,
who died before his grandchildren
were even born.

I hear footsteps in the kitchen
and wonder if it's you
hiding them from me —
but I hear lots of things
when the floor beneath me
crumbles
and I'm left dangling
from my barbed sanity
with ****** hands.

I swore I'd keep it locked away,
this heirloom of addiction,
but right now I need to hold it
and feel it
because I miss you
and I'm not strong enough to accept the fact
that you're gone
just yet.

So far this is the only moment
I've told myself you're not here,
when I find and swallow the last
three pills
that couldn't stop your pain,
then wash them down with gin
that wasn't enough
to stop mine.

A few drops
Of happiness in life
Build new hopes
And the will for strife.
Here they are
The sunrays
On the altar
Giving shape to
The promises
Of a singing tomorrow.

Things will be okay
Just give me your hand
I will take you
Through the dust
And the noise and the fire
And the madness
Of the weeping city
Trust me and
Follow me
I will lead you
To the silent harbor
Of painless eternity.

There's a girl,
Who looks at life with such a sad expression.
She'll never let anyone look straight into her Emerald green eye's,
Cause all you'll see is her past,present, and future.
Her past holds her heart on a fish hook, cause he promised and lied.
Her present shows she's been playing the violin, except her arm is the violin and the bow is a razor.
Her future shows her six feet under.
She sheds so many tears for her pain,
The hurting consumes her little body.
She thinks about it all.
All the memories flood back at once.
She shivers and whimpers with the tears the tears staining her cheeka once more.
She looks at her reflection,
Her eye's are glowing a beautiful green.
The young girl smiles a sadistic grin into the mirror as more tears stain her pretty little face.
She whimpers one last time, then all you hear is a loud bang.
The poor girl lays lifeless on her floor, with a smile on her face and a slit across her throat.
She was only 17, but the world was to heavy for her shoulders to handle.