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 Feb 2021 Smothered Divine
biche
Between that first moment
Of giddying dizzying
Infatuation and
Anticipation
And this one of
Debilitating disappointing
Despair and
Isolation
When did you flip
The switch?

Was my hand on it, too?

I don’t want to
Stay here in the dark
So I turn on
My own Light

C’mon now
We both know
This doesn’t make
Anything
Alright
How?
How do people do it?
How do people smile, drive cars,
buy loaves of bread,
read the paper, go to school,
go to jobs, go to church,
eat sushi, talk on cell phones,
drink coffee?

How do they ****,
**** and *****?
How do they
get their
shoes shined,
stand in line,
comb their hair,
brush their teeth,
go to the theatre,  
the circus, the carnival?

How do they do
these things and  
so much more when
babies, innocent- beautiful
babies, are born into this
brutal world,
where parents die,
where feral cats carry off
little birds that fall from  
the nest,
where best friends die,
O.D, get hit by cars
drowned or
die from some
strange brain thing.

How do we eat
chocolate, watch football,
and build snowmen?
How do we
visit the zoo,
go to the moon
copulate
*******
******* and
procreate
when hearts still
break,
Sweet Jane dies.
The walk on the
wild side ends,
and the letters we
send get returned?

How do they do it ,
when
dogs get hit by  
cars,
****** roam the bars,
the Dodo’s extinct and
wackos still brutalize
children?
How do people do it?
How do they carry on?
 Feb 2021 Smothered Divine
Max
She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."
What's the difference?
Only you, she said.
Not of anything important but
The importance of that nothing
Raised a veil from my eyes
And light poured in to fill
The void I'd grown inside.

I'm glad, she said.
Not for lack of meaning but
Meaning my lack of
Confidence detracted not from
Her joy and her smiles.

Thank you, she said.
Not just empty breaths but
That each breath I'd emptied
Grinning was matched by one
Of her own brighter moments.

Everything, she said.
And left me, wondering if
All this wondering left only
One truth sealed still
Locked behind her eyes.

Dare I look deeper?
Until even the edges of my mind
Are only you.
Bravery is not,
Easy to find,
In a culture such as mine,
We often define,
An incorrect view of what is good,
What deserves praise or should,
Be acknowledged by those who could,
Hand out honours.

Bravery is not,
In shooting a gun,
At another man's son,
Or in knowing you've won,
So with a buffer going for the glory,
So you can have the best story,
Of how you scored the key,
Winning blow.

Bravery is not,
A foolish choice made,
That through luck somehow paid,
Off but always weighed,
Down your chances of success,
Though you always said: "Yes",
When asked: "Was it for the best?"
After time passed.

Bravery is,
Admitting to yourself that you,
Might have been wrong to,
Assume what you always knew,
About yourself was definitely right,
And that things might,
Not be as black and white,
As you thought.

Bravery is,
Telling people you were wrong,
That you don't belong,
In the category you were in all along,
And in fact there's more to the truth,
When it comes to you,
And getting to know who,
Lives in your skin.

Bravery is,
Disagreeing with normality,
Arguing with the morality,
Put forward by the society,
That thinks its way is above,
All else, And loving who you love,
And being proud of,
**WHO
YOU
ARE
I can name what it’s not:
Not the likes
Not the fame
Not the power
Not the money
Not the knowledge
Not the pleasure
Not anything else
I can name what it is:
Your smile
Your voice
Your laugh
Your jokes
Your warm touch
The feeling of home
The safety and comfort to be
That is what happiness is to me.
Happiness? It’s simple.
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