Loser

Loser Feb 2019

You gave me a rose today.
It sits in my room wilting patiently.
Slyly pouring salt in the wound.
And what strikes me most is the symmetry.
how it sits dying so beautifully,
how it stands tall through all the pain,
how it's petals crash onto the floor like my knuckles into my wall,
and how it makes me smile so easily.
A nice gesture,
falling somewhere between a torture and a romance.

#thewonderyears #rose #bella #torture #romance

Loser Feb 2019

****

I bit the hand that fed me ****

Loser Jan 2019

Walls

One wall was painted dark blue,
while the other wore a bright yellow,
and the spot known as the corner was now known as me.

Upon the blue wall I wrote: "I don't want to live alone."
Upon the yellow wall I wrote: "I want to be with you."

But as the corner of the room I knew that though the emotions were juxtaposed, the message was still the same.

#walls #happy #sad #blue #yellow

Loser Jan 2019

Waves

The sadness came in waves, so I strayed from the ocean,
but keeping my distance made me lonely,
for I had no place on land.

I longed for the currents.
push, pull,
happy, sad.

When I was with the waters, I was joined by a mix of joy and sorrow
yet when I was away, I was joined by no one.

Loser Jan 2019

Cardboard

Friends become acquaintances,
and then they just pass by,
so let’s face the new with courage,
and let the old ways die.

Friends time. cardboard

Loser Dec 2018

I wore my fathers shoes to a funeral

I wore my fathers shoes to a funeral today.

It took me sixteen years to get to a point where I could walk in them and truly say that they were a perfect fit.

It took me sixteen years to get to a point where I finally understood the senselessness of death and the preciousness of life

It took me sixteen years to feel the gravity of death wrapping around my blissful yet ignorant heart, pulling me down to the knowledge of reality.

It took me sixteen years to not just know, but comprehend the fact that my time will pass me.

It took me sixteen years to learn all of these lessons, and now that I have I can start to live a life.

#death #sad #funeral #shoes #sixteen #life

Loser Dec 2018

light blue delphiniums

Her name was Lillie.

Her dad gave it to her.

She had sunset hair and dark eyes that she got from her mom.

She used to write songs and sing them to the world.
She used to smile when she sang.

Over time the smile faded, until eventually a slight physical sign of happiness became a rarity.

She had flowers that grew from the scars on her wrists.

She sowed the light blue delphiniums into her open flesh garden using seeds of depression and hopelessness that came from her tears.

Over time, the garden would mend itself,
and leave the scars she tilled into her delicate skin as a reminder of her pain,

yet sprouting from her painful memories were the flowers she had planted from the tears she had shed.

Standing tall as a reminder that good can always come from bad, and that there is beauty in everything.

Still working on it...

#flowers #blue #sunset #scars #sadness