Sacred eyes
Those that I cannot kiss
She covets the life
I covet the feeling
We may not touch  
We'll always disagree
But I'm still dreaming.....

Believe that a lost connection breaks your heart more than once
What I know now makes no sense
what is new?
Figuring out your home has left you behind
The life you wish you could run back to and change it all
falls from every tree dead around you as you mourn all day anyway

The world you knew is changing all the time.  No purpose but to find a purpose

I swear to a God that does not exist
That I would never lie to you
This art is my body and my blood
Your Jesus would never have given to you

My sickness and my depth
A tomb of blackened whispers
Screams of death
Drowning lungs in a fit of smoke
My words won't rescue
They'll grab you by the throat

I care not
When angels meet their fate
Intrinsic
to a world that loves to hate
Despair
is quite a pleasure
For a ******* to create

Hell in flames hath shown me the beast
Much blood be shed
At his own behest
The godless man that I am
Has chosen to battle
Despite being weak
He is a monster
He's a traitor
Low enough to ****** a lowly priest
He's a proud apostate
He's my enemy
If I'm being honest
He's one of half of me

Do ever lie
About the world being your ocean
Have you embellished your devotion
So they'd know you elsewhere from your pride?
If these lies coincide with mine
Your eyes probably glisten with a little bit of wine
And you might tell me something
I was spose'd to find
Because I took my time to get to know you

But maybe you don't mind
You know we both got broken in
By the memories we tried to hide behind our smiles
We should have embraced those thousands of miles
Right until the day we didn't
And I'll never hand you the blame
I'm not ashamed
Of why we both hate our beginnings
But I promise you, my friend
If you stay strong for me
Then I won't give in
So you can stay till the very end

The sinister snare
The teeth clamped upon my flesh
The eyes
The baritone beat of the wicked war
The eyes
Of the beast
Six lies in
Six weeks
Six die  
And no one weeps
Shepard's proclaim that they keep
God-fearing men as their sheep
As I bleed to death
I see
I told six lies in six weeks
I am the sixth to die bleeding to death
In my sleep
I pray to no one for my lonely soul to keep

What I wish I was
And What I Have Been
A contradiction in terms
That disguised himself
In an intellectualist's cloak

A time worn wooden shelf
For all of my insidious memories
Decorating tacky shameless
Lighting for a cemetery
Making a mockery of
The designations of life's many fates
And my creed was based on the novelty
Of avoiding how to grieve

Crimson tired eyes
Postulating sleep upon restless nighs
For I expended so much time
Doing just a little less than nothing
And somethings, my brothers
They  never change

I am so unequivocally deranged
My life changed
And what promised to illuminate my life
Encapsulated my only light with shame

As I breath
Martyrs and murderers
become the same
The leaves fall like they do
When their colors change
If that's how our lives worked
I would die today
Away from my lovely tree
Be swept away by the wind
Disintegrate into this earth again
Regret that life's not as simple
As I would love to forget
Find reprieve in a new life
I never found in the one I have in front of me

Crimsons streaks dripping
Lifeless eyes no longer drifting
A fair knife fight to end the night
A hand no longer gripping
for life

Disillusioned minds are the clearest
And clear minds
Allow the illusion to reappear it
Seems

The darkest hollows of the earth
Will always wait
For you
It's never a fair fight
If you've no claws than you must bite
Be a sinner or a saint
A fight will always decide your fate
No matter which path you take
The darkest hollows of this life
Will always wait
For you

Misery
I am the beast
I am the state of being
I am no longer running from
What have I been getting used to?
Pouring myself down the drain the morning after
I have naught, but I just am.. the insufferable disease
So I painted themes of what my life might be had I never had a

Dream
And it's dead
When the poison gets inside
It might take a lifetime just
To know your lifeboat has slowly drifted away against the tide

Don't feel alone Ms. Heaven On Earth
No glow but the dirt
But the mix is a passion for me
Like mixing you with whiskey
Drunk and screaming "Do you miss me?"
Feeling myself come to life
Dancing in the parking lot undeneath a black cloudy sky
You would cry your tears trying to hold on to your 'that was then and this is now'
It will always find it's way back somehow
I can't fix it, but I'll try to make it right
Maybe my love could help you tonight
Even though it could never be enough
For an angel like you
Broken and abused
Like myself in my youth


But I need you, sweet woman
Do you exist?
Or do I just miss someone else
And who they used to be

Your memory sleeps with me tonight
And I hope you're jealous
Now that you left us alone together
In the darkness
We fell in love
Without you

Emeralds are her eyes
  That glance upon my kaleidoscope glow
     She sees the empty underneath
Says:  "That's what I came here for"
        She won't be reconciled of her difficult opinion
          She will be the phosphorescent moonlight glow on the ocean  
She finds so dark and mysterious
      She say's, "No longer empty underneath."

Frozen oak is a currency I can't claim or Keep
Burning at the altar I
Swear on this cross that you'll burn
Right beside me Be
An anchor for a cause Or
Throw an Anchor just to cause disbelief This
Cloud you're on will descend We will
**** theses ******* off in the end Our
Lords are our hills And
Consciousness is black For
I wait for just a ******* day Too late
To save us both in the end We
Will mash this ******* into dirt Forever
Struggling to express ourselves as long as We
Are still above the water I
Swear that I will never Stop
Fighting to the till the bitter Wounded Creativity
Will mark my end My
Legacy is a tombstone of Words
A shroud cast to keep The ******* Out
The door and into their expressionless lives
Again
No flaws for you
But a death sentence for obedience and Useless Gem

The devil of distress here
awakened by your life
Grim pleasure
twisting your mind
The hell hollow breath you breathe
into me
I become as dead as my vice

I would toss that baby in a wood chipper
Id feed that baby to the sharks like chopped liver
I'd turn my self into a cold *** blooded killer
******* right I'd curb stomp little ******

Blows off the love because the smoke is grand
Happy glands release demands for inspiration
Rub the lamp and send me off the ramp
No more sober desperation
Elated man
Metallica fan
Adds THC to his respiration
Out of body
No longer haughty
Feels good to give in to temptation

The sentiment is always felt
When the summertime escapes without you
When you're allowed to grieve for the flower's wilt
Everything's changing
You only stay the same  
Maybe I'm the one who is really insane

Another day passes by
'That summer' is never coming back
So I extrapolate the image from a dream that brings me pain
and I Paste their faces on heartless figurines

Can you scratch the hard surface of memories toppled
Completely on top of the way things used to be?
You might find the real me
Hiding from the one I'm s'posed to be

So I smoke a cigarette and fake laugh to myself
At jokes, I'd tell if people thought I was funny
In a life, I'd live if people wanted me

Forgive me, if I can't listen to our conversation
My mind is somewhere else
Far away from here
But I'll never take that place back with me
Not completely
And someday it might **** me

If I'm appalled
It wont be enough to write
I may be sad
But never sad enough to die
Days like today
I just can't escape my life
Whether justice is or it isn't right
This phone of mine never rings at night
When the bottles empty
I'll be full of love
But it's just for tonight
Tomorrow I
Will be back to where I was

White Willow tree woes
Cylindrical mindset
Continuous flow, woah, wash me away
To darkness
Darken my Evergreen, pine-needle wings
Scavanging for things I know I should not have
They're not always on the surface
Ketamine dreams give me a reason to believe
I can take this gun right out of my mouth
Beat the machine
Run afoul
Be rich
Without a dime around

I've no living sentimental cues
beyond jewels are finer areas
higher and just
and ive just become
another  
one of you

Ice memories burn like hell
and hell is frozen over
my mind with inspiration is so hard to find
always
when you're constantly falling inline

Lets drive tonight
to the moon

Can they stand up to us
Long enough to shake our bones?
Are they really as brilliant as they say?
Why is it so subjective?
Even in the daytime I can still feel the same and so ambiguous  all at once so
I'm as complicated as you want me to be
Changing tires on the wagons of our crumbling democracy
Feeling whether or not anything changed
I never caught it at first like everyone else
Daydreaming of hell  feeling insane
Re-creating more pain
Breeding isolation
Even though now
I'm more like everyone else

Take Your Pills, Take your medicine
Do you really make yourself
Better than you've ever been?

Trust in life is never promised
        And its the world that makes
you feel like it's not alright
perhaps grasp that
   The entire world is still in this fight.
  they all lose their minds every day
From minute to the next is another question
burning in your brain
Unanswered. Inadequate.  Now you must suffer
........the whole day.............
/you never get a whole day/

Twisted arcane depth
Is the proclamation
They claim for thoughts inept
Tribalistic view for a blind man
No proud ******* ever wept

Congruency is shelved for late
Consistent shapes become a mascot
For those who can not adapt to a new taste

**** for brains will always swing the cranes
The wrecking crews' got no skin in the game
So leave power to the insane
Do not blame me
I'm too ignorant to feel the shame

They know you are guilty but pay no mind
They see how the deck gets stacked
so they stay inside
The verdict is a glass
The illusion is the wine  
Justice is a joke
And you're the punchline
So you just stay pacified
You're just too poor to afford a good alibi

Anger climbs the trellis like a vine
Hate is the photosynthesis as I substitute ignorance for the sunshine
I am lying in your wake
Your eyes will never anticipate
Your morals, they will antiquate
The burning, fiery skies of the killing forest will never wait, for you
I always build, from the sweat of my body to a God's ear  
You will hear me, but not until I'm breathing in your ear
The cortisol spike will ignite my fervor
Your oxytocin, from a God's ear to a cold, sharp blade

I'm dark and not in Vogue
My mind's ******
They all tell me so
My futures imperceptible
And I'm incapable of compleltely comprehending that

Do you ever wake up in the morning and wonder how you lost control?

Do you want to climb into a casket,
Watch somebody shovel all your  memories
slowly bury you in that hole?

There's no equity in insanity
Too much stock in self-control

I've seen death up close
I believed in ghosts
Cause that's exactly what I am
There's no lovely soul at the end of the road, waiting for you to pass
No matter we go we are always alone
Meant to feel as empty as a broken glass

Intoxicated waves of insanity drive the rage
The crave to dull the blade is no longer a phase

Miniscule minds never mind and
It's a living hell giving everything away just to disengage
I blow off watching the sunset **** near every day and
The only thing I have left to give away
Is a little piece of myself  

******* and Death threats, backalley beatings become my epithets
Every day is exactly the same
Wandering through graveyards trying to find my name
I Wonder, have I ever lived a life at all?  
In and out of cornfields in the fall to
The Iron Bars of last call
Fading into the background like I never even cared at all

She lays with some other guy  '
And He probably asks her why
It could never be her and I
A spark that couldn't wait to die
That was me
A man without a family

The hammer will beat down
the ones who never forgave
The ones who did
will never be
forgotten
The **** you did
IS still so rotten////
You were'nt just a soul
you were everything and one thing
sought for something that means nothing
Do you feel it now as you disappear?
You disappear.  
you ******* disappear.
and thank god you're gone

The virus is getting worse
But the worst of course is always
The first time
You really want to live
Maybe you'd do anything and Maybe you'd do everything and it still would not matter
It's more like a curse
Sometimes we fight to get through
Sometimes we give up
We've all felt that way too
Do you keep dying in your head
To humble yourself through?
I'd cling to someone if I had someone to cling to
But there is never a soul to be found
I fade away from that sound

**** **** **** **** me
You keep saying
I keep *******
And you keep changing
I keep thrusting and you keep saying  
I don't love you
So Why start changing?
So I *******
You start playing
I wake up
You start laying
I think I will
Always be changing
Oh, I thank God I'll always be changing
But never for you..........

My dreams are made of you
So much that I'm still with you
In my head
Don't tell me who he is
If there's Justice
Such a man should not exist
Ignorance is bliss
So don't tell me who he is
Let me believe we can be fixed
I know this dreams going to die away
I just don't feel that I have to grieve today

My cemetary
      is the burial of thieves
          My heroes who never sleep
   As the arrows FLY across their empty graves
TheyLiveOnAsUsToday

What do you think about the depth
          The proximaty of death  
How far I walked to hide my mess
The amarillo blood clot sky
Every day you die in a world where if I tried I could lie and say that it all worked out for me in the end.

Scorching Flames
         liberating the hate
Ensconsed in your brain
        A bile left from change becomes
Food for the conductor shoveling coal for another train
Flames to ash
Ash to dust
The dust to black
The waste is us
From the ground above
The memories erased
The process rebuffs
The claim is ours
But it's nothing new
I may profit from your death
But I'll be joining you soon

Patient eyes draw the ire of the feckless disgrace
Their chemicals erase hope
And the chase is on
To beat their ******* heads against the chalkboard

Those spineless, dense *****, they never

Listen to the sounds of righteous indignation
It never justifies the mean
And the hate carries craters
Smashing barriers as they form a team
To ******* carry you away

My dear friends,
Better days
Are never on their way
And the decay
Is the only reason
I still think Better days
Must surely be on the way
Cause remember?
Didn't we have yesterday?
Please don't show me ruins
The whole nostalgia
But it's all decay
And they're here now
To take us away
And the ******* *******
Still plan on having their day
Better days
Were never on the way

Truth be told
I cannot sleep
Although I wish for peace forever
I am colder now than ever
Still praying for peace
I can be the wind beneath your wings
I can feel so powerful
Yet alone, I don't feel anything

Bullets fly
Our favorite death
Is the one we die tonight
And we're out of control
Cause I can't tell for certain
If this life is the life I'm really living in

Somehow these dreams
     Slowly start and stop the way I thought they'd end it seems
A frustrating, catastrophic way I played
    The game let me descend into despair at the beginning
And every
girl is always lonely at the end
But never lonely enough for me

The feeling is so empty inside I think I
Am feeling numb
With this desperation turns your heart inside out of your soul
I try to imagine the cold tears falling from my cheek
They never come
My heart is sore from beating drums
I don't know who I am anymore, or what I'm running from
Every piece of my memory takes it it's toll on me
Like a cancer I can't see
Shrinking me and shrivling me away
Where theres no more lucky coins laying on the floor
Losing yourself means losing everything  
And more
The words can't tell you where I am
Or where I've been
Just my hands
And these sins
A calvry of man
Hating men

Blood and Vice
A
Misunderstood symbol
For
A
Hand dipped in wine chilled with ice
My heart
And her eyes
Are both busy
Beating
Paths to our minds
While we...
Divine

The mouths are closed
       Obedient proles
Destitute trials reap the fear we always know
    Treasure troves, a place for morals to hide
Willful to shift to an honorable life on this side
To a judge who cannot be faithful
To promise justice
For our lives
To kink the top brass
Shoveling food out of the mouths of peasants
And coal into the hearth for fire
Fire forging hate and manufacturing consent in the form of arms
But no alarms for my friends in high spaces
You have the aces
We only have our spades
We will grind ourselves away
Just a little a time, we die so disgracefully
In the garden of  disdain
Where the little people were too quiet

To rise above their pain