As the fire burns me alive, it feasts upon my skin
greedily ******* the oxygen from my lungs
I can feel the heat licking at my body
It started at my feet
But it won't stop there...
I can feel the Smoke filling me
With every gasp my weak body forces me to take
I'm given no choice
As the Smoke saunters into my airways
Slithers down my lungs
Down to the very last alveolus.

As the endless coughing begins, I ponder my actions
I think of what I did to deserve this
I know what I did
I sinned
An unpardonable sin

I was me

The flames continue, though I ignore them
Although the trepidation inside me burns just as badly.

I will not regret.
Why would I regret doing the only thing I was ever good at?
I was me.

I cannot beg for mercy
But I can stare into their eyes
Into their judgmental souls
I see what they do not:
They are not them.
Not a single person among them is true to self.

I smile

I breath in this staunch air, heavier than the blanket
of breathlessness that I've been enveloped in
for days now
Maybe years even
I'm sure
I think

A single tear tries to offer me one last aqueous solace
Before it withers in the heat

I still can't believe it all had to go this far

I cannot beg for mercy
I won't pretend I'm sorry
I won't let myself down

It's my turn now.
I will light the way.

You were once a piece of me,
now, the 'you' in my poetry.

I told you

just the other day

that I wanted to be a movie star

if only I was pretty



you stared into my eyes

and asked if my mirror was broken

'cause I looked straight off the runway stunning

I rolled my eyes

and said stop with the lies

I just want to be pretty



A few days later

I wanted to be a model

goodbye food,

hello gym

I said I could do it if I was pretty



you slapped me so hard

trying to bring me back to reality

but it was too late

she was already controlling me



Two weeks later

I'm told I'm gonna die

if I keep this up

but I want to become a singer

and a dancer

so back to the bathroom

goodbye binge



You took me to the ER

where people stopped and stared

at the girl who would do anything

to believe she's pretty

In a land made of darkness
where the trees were burnt black
and the sky was not blue there
all color it lacked
where the people were gray
and the sun very pale
but for the most part
no one ever failed
there were no tough decisions
and no problems too
everything was clear cut
they knew what to do

but what is the point
if there's no choice in life?
if there's no other pathways
it's a pointless strife
To live and to stay
alive are not the same
people must make decisions
choose how they play the game
because to play one game
with another game's rules
would never work out
you'd just get confused

one day a small girl
made this connection
she must live her own life
and not be a mere extension
and she exploded with color
and spread it where she walked
and she marveled in awe
and everyone else gawked
yellows and blues
and marvelous greens
melting the darkness
with the vision she'd seen
and others joined in
finding their inner worth
and spreading more colors
all over the earth
and remember, dear reader
never doubt yourself
you can do anything
just leave those dark clouds