December 24th: Slow down,
breathe, and relax.
Save your problems
for tomorrow
and calm your racing heart
Today.
December 25th: We pave the walkways
into the hearts of others
with ipods and gaming systems.
It's sad.
December 26th: The anxiety is over.
December 27th: Everything and everyone is beautiful.

March 3rd: When the sun has left us and all is dark. Keep smiling. The night may be a long battle and you may lose this battle. But the war will be won when the sun returns to liberate you in the morning.

March 4th: Even though our conversations have died., we always talk in my dreams.

March 5th: I’ll accept you for who you are. I hope you can do the same for me.
I can't hide behind this mask forever. & You can't keep pretending to play everyone's fool.

March 6th: Little One, I’m sorry your “Father” never cared. I'll make it up to you <3

I never thought being loved would hurt so bad.
Like a thousand knives stabbing my bleeding heart.
For every lie I speak.
As the fear of being alone slowly suffocates my dying heart.
I see the cold monster I've become.

Hurricane:

Right, keep testing my waters.
I'm badder than Katrina,
my storm will sink your ******* "battle" ship in one hit.
The sea is cold and heartless and I'm just water.
Grab your umbrella it's gunna rain for days.

3 minutes:

Times slipping through my fingers. Life is just the previews, death is just the featured film. Circuit boards, my moods are electric. Flip the switch and complete the circuit. Like a newly changed light bulb, I am absorbing some of the darkness, that you failed to hide. Guess I'm just a bit manic and you're a bit sad.

Love is the only high you can get without calling a dealer.
The dream, hope or feeling with the power to manifest itself into our reality.
When the time is right,
of course.
Requiring no effort.
Magic just happens.
Without any explanation.
One day you'll wake up alive again and you will get it.
**** just get's better, such as life.
Love is blind.
People are blind,
we just think we can see.
Gaze through the blind man's eyes and learn the art of recognition.
Recognize every purity and impurity.
Love always conquers lust.
Just sometimes, it's a close call.

So tell me,
cause I'm sick of
wondering.

Are
you
ready
to wake-up
alive?

Or am I going to
eating your cake
alone.

For the fifth year
running.
Anyways.

Happy Birthday.
Queenie Belle,
you'd be 46 this year.

And in the end
are we  nothing more than the
dreams we never lived.

The souls we never let free.
Sedated, we spend our lives numb.
Hibernating with in a cold, empty shell.
One that's constantly getting smaller.
While we seem to always be getting bigger.

Looking for an escape.
Testing the waters, to see if we can really walk the line.
Or if we're just another fabled tragedy of the heart.

But still, in the silence, I know I'm not alone.

And I swore,
I'd never
fall
in
love
again.

And,
I kept my part of the deal.

Fell all the way
down to my knees,
in hell.
Following through.

Only to forcefully give up
66 hand jobs.
To 6 different beasts.

Look, who's burning now?

Your spark.
Lit me like a match.
Left me to burn
like a witch on a stick.

I'm very well-done.

Oh. High, I'm Bandit.

I can feel the pressure
of 30,000 leagues
before I see you.

Crushing bones and spirit.
With omnipotent force.

I felt your envious eyes,
whisper tales of my true rank in life.
Untouchable, the dirt you wouldn't
grace your spit with.

A well fabricated quilt of lies.
To smother my heart and hold it
captive in the fires.
Of pure narcissism and self hatred.
Long after you left me here.

May our souls both find their peace.
Respectfully and may our hearts as dark and broken as they may be.
Mend themselves in the warmth, love and truth of the Sun once more.

Sick in the heart.
Perpetual darkness pulses through my bruised up veins.
Blood work seems to take forever.

Heathens cast the first stone and burn me at the stake.
Like the filthy witch I've become.

But in vain, I've been incinerating in silence.
Since you left me here with these vampires.
Hungry for the essence of my spirit.

A day in the life
trapped in
an hour glass.

Waiting
and
fading,
away with a
sand storm's
breathe.

Time doesn't exist,
I'll always be here.

Waiting.
Howling,
at the half-moon for you,
Babe.

Until, I'm starry-eyed & home again.

Anti social.
Manifesto conditional.
Always sulking
within the darkness of me.

Soul ******* succubus.
Tu n'es pas ma mère.
Je vois,  mon amour.

On the 69
blood-line.

A
free-flowing,
free-way
heading somewhere
West.

Cause every
selfless-soul
is just
sulking in the shadows.

Of a
Western
sun-set.

"Record this."

For this is
the end of a
day, today.

The end of an
era-o-errors.  

Shattered.
it sounds sweeter.
&
I'm not broken, anyways.

I'm just recreating
my
self-star
from
the ashes that the
fire-man gave me.

For every step I take,
I can feel my feet slipping
back three.

I'm at the end of my rope.
But my noose isn't even tied yet.

Living in a snow globe.
Watching life around me blossoming,
beautifully.
But when I try and reach out.
My hands hit the glass and stop me dead in my tracks.

Lost within the fear.
One too many times now.
I can feel my heart slowly,
breaking into a million shattered dreams.
In between irratic palpitations and bursts of nervous energy.
Of course.

I think my soul is ascending to its purest form.
It's both terrifying and beautiful.
Almost like I'm dying and living simultaneously.

Shine on,
Because
you are beautiful
in words unknown.
If you could see
my dreams,
you
would see
what the mirror
doesn't want you to
know.
Loneliness is a mind set;
allow yourself to
be in good company.
you can't be
everybody's martyr.
November almost killed me
or maybe I was killing myself.
Throwing in the towel.
You gotta know when to call it quits.
or else you'll go out of control.
Turn the page, end the chapter.
Reinvented, reborn.
Call it whatever you please,
it’s all the same.
Nothing matters because everything is nothing
and nothing
is something.

I had a dream a few weeks ago.
Check it out.

Somewhere,
in the middle of the astral plane,
I met the Sun.
I couldn't see his face,
for it was too beautiful for my caterpillar eyes to see.
He told me that he knew,
the angel I sold my soul too,
5 years and 155 days ago.
**** gets better,
someday keep that nice thought <3
cause
he tossed me a bag of magic star dust
and said use it well.
I plan too.
Double "o"
cause Bandit & The Love Cult is a
2-way street.
Respectively.
My poems for you.
Until then,
I'm just
biding my time,
biting my tongue,
waiting tables,
waiting on fate,
wondering when they're going to
hit a ***** up.
Patiently waiting in every way.
Until my magic is done
baking like a stoner.
Just believe in your
butter-fly hearts
that the suffering is almost over.
Patience is an art, just like poetry.
If you time travel
on the wishing well's schedule,
**** will get better.

Going out,
getting good.

All gothed-out,
glamorous.

Drop-dead.
Gore-geoous.

It's a curse.
Only
the truly beautiful at <3,
have it.

Talent.

Get it.
Dig it.
Dug it.

GOOD :)

I am just every drop of blood
the razor blades
made
me.

Drag downers
dragging themselves along
the skin surface
of my blood-flow
free way.
Wrists.

While,
I am screaming.
"I hate you" .

At the top of my black-tar
******
coated-codine lungs.

Yogurrrrr?
Help a ***** out.
&
go check on that crack pipe.
Uhhh.
I mean check the pipe for crack.

Cuz dem smokey rocks
make a bruthah go
cray-cray.

Welcome to the Goth Opera.
I'm just playing pretend,
anti-christ tonight.

When your life lies within the hands of crooked doctors and blood thirsty nurses. Who've made you too weak to speak out against the horrific experiments, they have conducted on you. "Professionals" That claim to be searching for a cure, to an already cured disease.



When friends and family can give you no comfort because, you're too doped up to understand any words of sympathy. Modern medicine can never help, the entire industry is infested with corporate criminals looking to make fast money so they have something to fornicate with later on this evening.



When the machines break down and you get trapped inside the mechanical afterlife. We will seek revenge against the mad men who did this. You will be found, no matter how far we have to travel through the circuit board. Your soul will be found before it is sent through the assembly line and manufactured into a techno logic ghost. You will escape the factory. I promise, you will never become one of them.



.

In every bad-day-dream,
you have ever had.

There was always
a giant
Silver Serpent.

Staring at you.
&
Just a slithery second
away from your ******.  

That little ghost-tail.
Apparition-creature-thing.
That everyone seems to talk about?

While he is.

Slithering in through
the cracks of your mind.
&
Out of your hollowed out
graveyard heart.

I say, Astro.
Don't chu know?
Ya can't trick him.
Cause he is many years dead,
before you.

You can visit, him.

You just need a
different air-plane
to travel in.

Think about it.....

You little astral-star,
you.

Need to listen, closely.
Serpent talk
is
simply shady-speech
for
slutty-scummy-snakes.

Screaming colors
at the blind.
Only falls on deaf ears.
Apparently.

My aura
be violent
with ya.

Like backwashed desires.
Regret.
From impulsivites.
Yesterday gave me.

All lost memories of lucid dreams.
Now hungry nightmares.
Staring back at me.
With the same doe eyes.
That used to call, mine.

Baby,

When I saw you with that other man

Just like your chastity.

A piece of me died

How could you do this to me?

I loved you with all of my heart

And all my soul.

There is a price to pay

For what you have done.

Execution at the hands of a gun.

Standing before me

In your final moments

Of your deceitful life.

You now feel my pain

I’m trying to make you suffer

By prolonging your shot to the head.

I hope you think about every lie,

That escaped your snake like tongue.

I hope you think this

Before you are dead.

Maybe then you will see

Babe there is no fooling me.

You’re pleas of insanity

And your excessive apologies,

Can no longer affect me.

I’m smarter now than I was before

I did my research and concluded

That you are a *****.

When I grow sick of your cries,

A single tear will flow down my face.

With sweaty palms

And trembling hands,

I will take one final breathe

And turn the gun.

For without your love,

I wish for my life to be done.

I can keep my balance
on your tight rope of insecurity.
You say you're a two.
but baby, you shine like an eleven.
Covering my eyes with optimism,
cause all I see is pessimism.
Sometimes it’s better to be blind
then to see at all.
Black and white.
Day and night.
It’s too bad the color wheel
doesn't have a neutral shade.
I can't take sides anymore.
because both parties are wrong.

You are a
big, blue ocean
deep with thought
& wide with worry.

As you lay beside me
shaking from the shake down
of a cold wind’s breath.

I begin to laugh for,
I'm the next hurricane.
Who will rage a storm
across your waters.

I'm badder than Katrina,
& you best be
bowing both heads down,
***** Boy.

Before you
start, talking to me.

That's just how you do.
When youz in the presence
of  bad *****.

These
boring me
to boredom
real-life
board-games,
have got me all
over the charts.
Up and down
then
Down and up.
Again.


I wish,
I could,
phone a friend.
Or even the president,
someone's gotta
bail me out of
jail.
Bandit's behind bars,

But as soon as
my
third-time
is
a charm,
Luck.
starts to put
magic-moves
on the
love-life
dice.
I'll
***** the railroad
&
advance
to go.

My fellow *****-ups
sick of being ****** over
"****-ups"
Now is the time to sharpen our swords
and strengthen our
mental armor.
A battalion of
dark, black clouds
are walking all over us.
Stealing everything we have
in little tiny shattered glass
broke path ways.
Until they can legally
get their
grime-slime
lime
green colored hands
on
everything we
have.

Their handshakes
leak a liquid lie.
An inception,
meant to cause
a deception
that they
"really"
care
about you.
The ******* is
infectious
and is
infecting
the world with
false hopes
and promised
paved paths
to future let downs.
Paid for by the people.
Made apparently for the people.
Yet the people can't even participate,
or have a chance to appreicate any
of the fruits they harvested
on a larger scale.
Because society has a caste system
and no matter how
civilized,
we claim to be.

The world
is still the
same old
factory,
ruled by
the
same old
idiots.

Who only care
about making it big
and taking
baths with all your money
hairy-***
gross-***
****-***
Naked.

  
They only want
to continue
bringing us all
down under the weather,
under their oppression.
Suppression.
Cause the only reason
why their ******* our **** up.
Is
cause they're ****** up &lemon-juice;
bitter
toward everyone
that has
a
sugar-sweet smile.  
A few years ago,
I asked myself
the question,
why
are people
so miserable, hateful
spiteful and everything else
that's not delightful?

My conclusion was
that because people
are animal-like
in our human
nature,
most of us always feel the
need to belong.
Which the possibility
of having
everyone
in the world
believing that
they belong
is brilliant and beautiful.
& If it was
dealt
in a pure form,
not laced,
not bought from a shady dealer.
Suicide probably
wouldn't happen
so much.

I feel like  
a lot of us
are driving around on an
capital "E"
for emphasis,
Emotional
round-a-bout
Difficult.
Tricky.
On the self-sticky note.
I have no idea
what the ****
I'm doing.
Guess I'm gunna
find out
when I
hit the wall in a
CRASH.
Or
I'll just
drive through the
cycle and make it work.
**** GETS BETTER.

Until then,
I'm going to keep driving
in the
darkness
until the sun rises
and brings me light.
So
I can see
through all this
bull-****
traffic.
So I can find
my way home.
Either way,
one day.
Someday,
that's a nice thought.
It's going to happen.

It's Unfortunate
that
greed and all the other
deadly sins
have stolen
the meaning
of the message.
I think this is why
people can feel empty.
Untouchable,
Worthless,
Disgusting
& Ugly.
Even though
that's the
polar
bipolar
opposite
side of us.

Just because they're
in a dark, depressing
ditch of despair.
It
DOES
not mean,
you have to
join in
on the
pity into hate
Debbie Downer
party.
Garbage dumps
smell bad and no one
wants to be
in
or
near
them.
Stay outta da dumps.
Debbie Downer
can go down on herself.
Mean
people
can just
*******
till their parts bleed out.

&
So the Kindest Killer
locked/loaded
&
cocked
his perfect lil'
purple pistol.

They needed to be put in place.

For the Bandit.
was starting to go cray-cray,
from all the raunchy-rowdy-ruckus.

Action.
Reaction.

As the loud mouth's
looked at what sat right
between
their eyes.

The killer
screamed.

"Bang. Bang"

&
From then on it has been nothing but darkness.

You don't need a piece of
paper to prove your
intelligence.
A blank check
will never be
worth as much as You.

Today wasn't so great
but
Tomorrow,
fate
could come and change your life.

If you think that the world is out to **** you of everything they can possibly take and you've had enough. Well, welcome to the Love Cult. My friends call me Jacob, but I go by Bandit.
Be a dream catcher
and catch your dreams.
Don't ever give up cause **** get's better.

Burning bridges,
so my make shift
bat-wings
can start flying
up and the ****
out of hell.
All the way across
the river
to the better side.
yeah, everyone's go some ****
to say.
Everyone is
full of it too.
You either need
a fistful of laxatives
or a fist in your face.
Talk ****,
get electrocuted.
The Lord,
works in mysterious ways.

The Bad News Bears
may bring a
flash flood
tear storm ,
to the
beach-rockers
by the bay.

But that won't stop them.
They're
just.
stuck in the mud.
Cause some people
had
to
spill their problems
on your
calm beach.

The world is
a
cynical/circular/cycle.

But time doesn't exist.
You'll always be here.
In the web
or out the cocoon.

So smoke a joint
and
check your weave.

Youz actin' a lil'
cray-cray,
Bay-Bay.

Benadryl and chill.
Anti hystamine dreaming.
Pre meditated drug dealing.

Over inflateted egos.
Boys with Legos
for brains.

Hussling at gas station.
Sending little paper parcels
to wide doe eyes.

Getting high is more fun, anyways.
Most days,
I'd rather play pretend.

Now pull the trigger,
*****.
Or I'll drink punch & die.

I want to see,
the guy with
the
:) eyes
again.

Down under the Devil's balcony.
We'll be on fire.
Together.
Here's to dancing,
in my guilty inferno.

For an Angel,
you're pretty. Hot.

If I didn't live in such
a
small town.
I'd be a really big ****.

Sorry you're a worn out bigot.
I Guess I'll see you when I'm six feet under
or six states South.
We can pretend we're family then
=] .


There are two things I will never comprehend.

1. Why people have to have a bewildered reaction upon finding out someone in their life is gay.
Gay people exist and we're not urban legends.

2. Why people feel the need to call gay guys *******, we know what we are. If you're going to make a quick jab at me, tell me something I don't already know. *******.

Ignorance, fear, hatred and differences are what's ******* up the world.

You can say that everything is fine and that it's just a phase I'm in or even on a larger scale you can say that the blatantly ignored ******* hatred doesn't exist.

** Excuses don't explain anything. I know you have trouble sleeping at night, if I was evil, I would have the same problem.


I use to write for my high school newspaper, but after one year, I got kicked off for writing editorials like this.

Meet My best friend,
His name is Billy Blue.
He gave the gift of inspiration
to the black and blue haired.
Uninspired Bandit.
Happy Birthday calendar,
I'm twenty now.
I've got about a year or so to make this work
or else
I'm going to have to strip my way through
beauty school.
I don't want to have
to be a part time ******* either,
I'd rather keep my shirt on.
Help a ***** out
and take me far away
from here.
Anywhere,
take me anywhere but here.
From the edge of the thought galaxy
all the way back into your arms again.
Some day,
one day,
It'll happen on the worst day,
like the ******* Tuesday
ever.
Only cause something
greater than ourselves
wants us to know
**** gets better.

Counting down
the minutes
until my shoe laces
get tied together,
so I can fall in
love <3.
I'm getting kind
of bitter,
like a lemon drop
without the sugar rim.
Sidewalks and skyscrapers.
One day
I'm going to
find those
bright,
white,
camera flash
lights.
Yeah,
I'll make
it like a
dream.
Over night.

Buried alive, beneath the rhetorical lies.
Of a thousand broken-prayer beads.

Surrounded by all of my....
False hopes.
Fake friends.
&
Some, hornet priests
who are exorcising their own demons.
On a ******* fueled ****** of sadism in it's own right.

On the dark side of the confession booth. This is nothing.

But a divine
waste of my time.
I'll see you all, in Hell.

I've seen what happens
after all of this.
Desolate, perpetual darkness.
With a sea of fog and nameless voices of people I used to be.
Directional guidelines for my final adventure.

Four minutes felt like fourty years.
And to be fair, I'm annoyed the nurses woke me up.

It was nice, speaking with you again.
Even if you told me to go back home.
To which I came.
Ironic though, you were my first home.

Men so quick
to point the finger.

When, they share equal
guilt.
In the alleged crime as well.

We're poster children
The few who got branded.

A scarlet letter,curse.
Many share.
But few wear.

Every white sheep,
is matched up with a black one.
To keep the flock in balance.

There are more of us.
Hidden in your slipping eyesight.

Your common sense.....

Yeah, it
knows no logic.

Guess,
I'm just talkin' to a big,
boring brick-wall.
Again.

I'd rather be talking to myself, honestly.

I'm not
Surprised,
no-no-no-no

Disappointed?
You betchya.

But what can one expect.

When we live inside
one giant
circular-cynical-cycle.

Oh High,
I'm Bandit.

& I'd like to
Thank you,
for paying me lip service.

I'm forever in (your) debt.

Sup Chuck?
Up Chuck?
What the ****?
Chuck?
Lemme sip your
wood-chuck.

Lol

Don't tweak out
just because
they're tweaking with your
wires.

Keep your calm
&
give your fuse
a blow-out
*******.
I am
Better off alone anyways.

Just playing
the hand
you dealt me.

Call me out.
Bluffin'.
Maybe I am.

But what's
the big deal?
When every-body-else is
full of **** too?

Lost somewhere
in the cluster **** of space.
I called, home.

Nothing
but body-bags'
3 seconds away from death.

Letting go of everything
to find something
in everything
I see.
Nothing.

I took in the smoke
until it rotted right
out my mind.
Then he took me over.

Break
my <3

&
I'll
break
your
******’ spine.
I'll curb
stomp
your mind
right back into
the gutter
it was hiding in.

&
I'll kick
your lie- leaking
teeth in.

Guess all the
Cut cauterizing,
Lemon- juice,
bathtubs
I bled-out
in.
Messed me up.

My bad for messing around
with
a ***** up.