When I was little
I was scared
Scared of the monsters living under my bed
I used to hide, under my blanket
Under my blanket, I was safe
The monsters couldn’t reach me under my blanket

My parents used to say
The monsters would go away
I would grow up and that then they would leave

But I grew up
And the monsters didn’t leave
Turns out my monsters, grew with me
Now instead of under my bed
The monsters live inside my head

So I hide, under my blanket
Where I think I am safe
Wondering if after all this time
My blanket can still keep the monsters at bay

I wish I could feel
with this empty heart.
In search for love,
I've torn it apart.
In these hands,
the colour leaks.
and in my soul
I hear death speak.

Dear me,
I write to you to say goodbye.
This life is gone, no need to cry.
It's okay, you won't be missed;
whatever you're feeling will be dismissed.
We have no one to tell
except for ourselves,
what pain we've endured
behind closed doors.
I wish I could say it will be alright,
but I'm afraid this is our last fight.
goodbye,
sincerely,
me

Despite the pain of yesterday,
I plaster a fake smile;
And though I'm good at hiding it,
My sanity remains on trial.

I don't feel special,
I'm not unique.
I want to cry
but I can't even speak.
My hands reach out,
but they cannot hold
a single thing
but the bitter cold.
Everything's frozen,
I feel lost.
Even my tears
have turned to frost.
When I cut my waist
it bleeds black.
I'm so deeply gone
there's no way back.
This is goodbye

i spent my life trying to please
someone with a twisted disease
i broke myself down
and tucked my feelings away
to become the person
they wanted me to be
i let myself be watched
through the glass of a two sided mirror
of a sociopath
i wallowed my spirit away
and begged for acceptance
but there’s nothing in the world
that i could do
to let the narcissist know
that i am human too