days are going by not feeling like days
annoying obstacles needing to be faced
my world is b&w;, the colors have faded
i feel overwhelmingly numb constantly
waking up every day into a nightmare
just wanting to go straight back to bed
days does not feel like days anymore

*(s.m)

i have days where
i don’t wanna talk to anyone
i don’t wanna smile or fake being happy
i don’t know why, i can’t explain it
i have days where i just wanna be alone
stay in bed all day and not move one inch
when you’re alone no one will ask you
what is wrong? or try to understand or
won't take i don’t know what’s wrong for an answer
i feel the way i feel just because i do
for anything in the world i want that feeling to pass
everyone says it just takes more time
so can i please just be left alone to wait

*(s.m)

i don’t know what’s going on anymore
i don’t care about anything
i’ve lost my motivation for life
i’m confused, i don’t know how i feel
can’t explain it in any way
i feel empty and my world seems dark
feels like no one understand
there’s just nothing to look forward to anymore

*(s.m)

last night was one of those nights
the numbers on my alarm clock
had just to shifted to 3 am, once again
i got up and closed the door shut
went back and sat on my bed
with my back against the wall
i felt the pinching in my face
and acid tears streaming down my face
i gasped desperately, but silent for air
and i tried to make myself stop shaking
thinking about everything that is wrong
with me and my life and with the world
exhausted and with deep breaths i cried
and i cried myself to sleep, once again
today i woke up in the corner of my bed
i had a pounding headache
but i got out of bed just like any other morning

*(s.m)

she asked me if i had any
i hesitated and looked down
she came over and sat next to me
held my hands and looked deeply
into my eyes almost tearing up
she pulled up my long sleeved shirt
gasped silent and tried not to show
how shocked and worried she was
she caressed them calmly
hugged me as tightly as she could
wiped away my tears
told me everything will be okay
without her, i wouldn’t be here

*(s.m)

i’m so sorry for being such a mess
for not having the right words
or any words at all
but i’m trying
i really am
trying

*(s.m)

the worst part of having a bad day
is not being able to cry it out
the day has been complete ****
all you want is to scream and yell
but you don’t feel anything
you are numb
you can’t smile cause it takes too much energy
but you can’t cry either cause you don’t feel anything
you’re just paralyzed
your heart is aching
and you can’t breathe
can I please just to cry it out the next time?

*(s.m)