In my mind I still watch that recording of the day we met at the coffee house,
When you smiled at me I have to admit I swallowed my tongue and my stomach screamed,
I am surprised of how I talked for that long five minutes to be precise my longest conversation with an angel,
Especially because we had nothing in common and you hated poetry and I hated music,
But now I’m stuck with earphones on my ears even if I don’t like Khalid,
I still recall pouring coffee on my laptop and you ran all around looking for a rag to wipe it out,
I had stalked you for days I have to admit,
I would stare when you served those customers with no sign of a flaw,
I try to be docile and don’t wanna act awkward but that waitress outfit arouses me that smile makes me stop thinking and wonder where you are from,
The way you treat me and wrap your soft hands around me and every piece of me pauses,
You look like the sun but stunning like thunder and here I am and ask if I stand a chance strike me to death,
Show me how you do it,
Steal my heart again I want to feel it more and more ,
Or maybe can I get your number and walk you to the park on the weekend and maybe I might open my stupid heart,
I just hope you don’t treat everyone the same as I ,
Hope I just stand a chance,even though this is the third time you’ve given me wrong number and I end up calling your office manager with the male voice,
I don’t want to think you are taken,
RUSSELL

Dreams of a candy man
I don’t want to regret  any more
Hope it’s going to be good as it gets,
She has secret-admirers ,
Ones that can ****,others with looks to ****,
Ones that can provide,others with ability to provoke,
She has dreams and dream-chasers,
Dreams of taking a stroll down the park taking ice cream  with the man in her dreams,
Dreams of a sweet marriage,a sweet wedding with the prince,
If she loves money …?
I can’t tell but if she does,the dream-chasers haunt her with charms ,promises
Dream-chasers turning her head up trusting her heart than her mind
She’s got a sweet smile,warming like the sun
Speaking of the sun maybe I aimed to high

If love would have had a face then yours would have been the perfect
If love would have chosen a medium then I would be lonely

On behalf of my heart
Representing my failing body
I don’t see you like I should and believe it aches my heart
This is what I was born to be looking so misunderstood
If this is it then I feel displaced for it is aching more when I hate myself
I’m in war with peace I need the peace but it fights me to my grave using shovel to burrow the grave
I pray to God my knees on the ground arms crossed to the chest  
Say Amen with eyes closed and spirit ascending
To let your eyes look into mine
See the struggle that I put into this dream
Never sleeping so that I won’t wake up dead

I do this for you even if there is no us
I do this for us even if there is no you  
You are my trust even if it ain’t a must
They say it’s a curse but I don’t mind even if it causes a fuss
It’s true I have trust issues but you are my trust
Love is a beautiful thing but yours is more than that
You are my inspiration I think you’ll **** me
I’ll go crazy fighting for your attention you are a queen without a king or with I don’t want to know but let me try
Maybe my pen won’t last forever but for your love I’ll wait forever
I love more than anything you deserve more than diamonds

This is straight from my heart,
Hope you believe me,no one can stop us,
We’ve got the energy in our body,
Unity in our minds,love at display,haters at our dispose and the world at our feet,
But I can only live my life,
For you only judge a book but never open the pages,
Deep down you’ve got a fire that you feed with darkness and the embers are turning you into a monster but you also get hotter ,
Begging you everyday to reason with me is now a prayer that’s like a dead idol I’ve been trying to pray to never getting enough,digging down my pockets taking all that I have never understanding it’s not easy for me,
But still like a deaf dumbfounded boy i still love with all your flaws and sins because that is my way of giving compliments
Girl there is a difference between girl I need you and I want you,girl I need you beside me. At least even if making you happy will take me to the grave hope that you’ll bring flowers to my grave and take your dinner at the fence


While am gone hope you’ll find someone to treat you better because I see the devil in your eyes I can see the wolf at your door fighting for a hollow crown in a kingdom of one where you want to play god
I wish that you leave a bunch of roses so that I won’t give up even when am gone so that I can pay any prize to be in your arms again coz I’ll be with you even where border try to keep us apart burry me where when the urge is strong I can rise to be in your arms again even though you’d cause my death

What’s life?what’s this life?
What’s behind this lie?such a great lie,
At birth is when it begins,they say a beautiful child but when it grows up what a monster face it develops,during breastfeeding still being fooled while all they want is for you to be silent for peace in their ****** souls then fooling you to go for the sweets,just to make you walk so as to remove a burden of carrying  your forsaken body and when you walk they give you work fooling you with three meals a day. And when you grow your teeth they take you to school asking you not to joke and work hard while all they want is what you get at the end of the torture. When you fail the spank is the only truth that engulfs your childhood. When you grow up  they still fool you to go and get a spouse. That’s where the greatest lie manipulates and and lays its eggs to hatch and become more mutant. A life full of arguments a life full of mistrust a life full of doubt coming each day home just to add salt to the wounds two great enemies under a single roof and their offsprings as fuel and spectators to this war full of battles never won where no one knows what will happen next while no one takes precautions where anything can happen but none is afraid where the masculine show their ego and their counterparts which weaker power but a spiteful mouth that acts as firewood to the never ending battles. And still lie to the offsprings each feeling right and offsprings get lies from both sides
Get a work and still the boss lies to you and all he wants is a profitable business so as to stuff his *** that ingested all junk
And when you die they still lie of how good you are while you mishandled women while you looked down on innocent men needing your love they lie of how pure you are while all the ears know what a *** you were.
Look at me speaking as if I was born in the 80’s while am only 18 speaking as a priest while am not different in any way speaking of life while I have a dead heart in me speaking like a married man yet still looking for my first love but still I have nothing to ask for forgiveness for my pen ain’t faulty


RUSSELL