Dinner is served
I didn’t make it
But I watched you do it
You like us in the kitchen
At least I think you do
You follow me here so now I’m following you
I want to say I’m sorry to be sad
You should only see sunshine
Leaves turning green and white flowers that grew overnight
Rolling thunder overhead but only for a moment
It passes but it shook us
I think if we practice our patience we can survive this
All we have to do is breathe through the spring

I’m a little bit scared of what’s after

Your sweet fingertips shine
🎆🎇🎆
We watched the day go by at night
🌄
Caught stars and hung them inside
🌠🌠🌠🌠
And now
We’re on the other side of the peak
I’m in love with you so let’s take our time
🔮

I want you
And your abductors to
Choke me till
It’s tomorrow

Love, a desert sun
Unforgiving.
It’s starting to burn
I’m getting thirsty

I want a love like
Margaritas in the summer
Anticipated
Savored

Instead
We woke up in a pool of blood
My blood
“Our blood.”

On Valentine’s Day,
I wore crotchless lingerie
Because I’m tired of staining everything

Do me this favor
Just for nowwon rof tsuJ
You don’t have to stick around
But just be by me through this
I’m fragile -not for much longer-
But for now

I wish you could see the words, silken like skin on muscle, on bone, on soul
So much more than what we know

Chew them like lunch
I’d like to take them out

I imagine a stairwell
Twisting sharp and cold
A song we don’t quite know
Downstairs you find
those who never say goodbye
Outside the dirt keeps drying

I want a boyfriend who’s going to read my poetry!
I don’t want him to be mean
At least he never is to me
But I’m happy he has thoughts
About my poetry
About the giant baby taking over my bed
About her dad who fights for the space in my head
About the job I barely have
It’s two jobs it’s two jobs I barely have

He’s 50/50

I don’t want him to be mean
At least he doesn’t seem so to me
I wish he’d read my poetry

I’m sorry if it misunderstood you
I’m sorry if it hurt you
It never meant to

I wish you would read my poetry

Just close it down
And shut your eyes darling
Boys will really break your heart blah blah blah
Don’t we ever get tired of the same narrative
I miss typing on keyboards and picking up speed
Holding down caps lock
I relinquish
all my *****
to you, breeze

These kids these days‘ve got nothing

I’m sad for them but ain’t it something
Our moms feel the same about us
Our moms feel the same about us
Like no matter how much they gave
It wasn’t enough
All they could do was teach us us teach us

This is how you get a sore tooth
If you’re gonna hold it
Might as well hold it till it wins

Oh well we’re here already again huh?

Sure didn’t take you long.

Have you ever thought about how maybe there’s other people in the world maybe your life is not torn between these two guys that are kind of the same but in different ways:
maybe maybe just maybe you are the scissor and they are opposite sides of the string and all you really need is a fat ******* blade.

It’s not like the Spice Girls said at all

never was

they just did that for popularity.

You can give yourself so foolishly and recklessly -
you can’t -
you can’t just abandon yourself at the side of the highway and take your shell of a body -
hitchhike into the backseat of a car and the car looks good from the outside just like you are on the inside -
it’s all right but that doesn’t mean you were meant to be
that doesn’t mean you should just dive in headfirst jump into the backseat it doesn’t mean that at all -
all that it means is -
you look good from the outside and you’re warm inside too, just a shell of the body even you misconstrued

If you ever think that I’m talking too much
You should just -
Bold faced, just kiss me
And make me shut up.
Be sure to make it seem that it’s -
That it’s just because you love me,
Me when I speak..
And not that you think
I’m talking too much

I bet you just fall asleep
It is unrealistic and silly to me
Honestly.

(Find all the poems with “honestly,” make a song out of them.)

Or maybe I make you crazy enough to stay awake
Doesn’t make much of a difference to me
Till I drink and then I think
You mean something to me
Can’t trust yourself when there’s two of you

Flashing vision from the third eye
Don’t think about it
Honestly

See how quickly I lost you?
Like a ballon tied by a string
Chased by a kid out of reach
I float laughing merrily along

I climbed that tree today
“That one we loved?”
The one we’ve always been a part of
I smell charcoal grill till the squirrels come home
and see the rocks you never let me straddle

I wrote a poem today
“The words I never fathomed?”
I grew them from our seed and I babied the roots until they brought me something forthcoming

But I saw you disgusting and rotting like fall weather will do
I had hope I gave love like a summer sun subdues
Seasons are seasons and like seasons we flee
Unbecoming unknowing unpredictable seeds
Roots do flower and we can’t blame them

Maybe I think my nose is perfect
Perhaps, this whole time,
They’ve seen it is skewed.

It’s perfect to me because my
mommy and daddy made it -
I am me because of you.

Beauty to you is religious,
It follows every rule.
I let the river run;
Words flow true or untrue.

If you could just tell me the truth
I'd have something to work with
But
A
Lie
Is
So
Isolating

Resisting the urge to call you
Is a battle I can't fight
I might give up this time
And then I pick it up
My thumb opens a portal to everything
You're just a fingerprint away
Why did you have to do me so right
Why'd you do me so good?

It's 3 am
I'm remembering
the calm, your breathing
warmed beside me
Why'd you leave me one night

Are you really gone for good?

these are the conditions i **** myself under

never wanted anyone to smell me from the inside
feel the rattle neath my skin
i never wanted my skull to be a keepsake

sometimes you get so mad you could break your own neck
you could key every car in the parking lot

don't cry
i've got two
two
one for me
and one for you

So here's what i do here's what i do
I swell like the ocean
And hurl my wet waves upon you
Like its your problem cause you did this
You angered the sea and now you've got me to deal with
And it swells so pretty
Pretty like a peal kept secret for so long but now there’s 1,000
Enraged and crashing to the shore
More rare than a bead more painful than a bullet
Cause i'm not killing you by draining your blood
No i'm not kidding you by eating your young
I'm suffocatingly brackish like the curry in the kitchen
Your mothers been fetching you for
Heres what i do heres what i do
I act like torrential downpour
Like fatalities occur but in the truest of true true reality
I am ***** beneath the surface tossing and maybe drowning
And you are the house your mother is fetching for you from
I am the blood spilt from my own wrist cause it felt good to feel
It felt good to drop the act of the ocean and the salty death i’d love cast upon you
I just didn't think i was capable of harboring hate like the port destroyed at shore

If i could see
The sun’d be shining
The boats bobbing happily along

• Hurt hurt hurt myself today •
The demons in me laughing while I too am trapped in here screaming
The only noise is inside, theirs is the only noise I'm hearing
•
•
It just stings a little
I don't make a peep
I wait for the rest of the world to go silent

Took enough to **** a couple cats but
My hands aren't strong or steady to finish the rest

I only bled a little this time
Only a little this time
I wasn't trying to die

There is always a new man sitting next to me
This one is humming
The last one carried a crane and tried to speak while I was eating
I was rude but what they don't know any single one of these guys sitting next to me, different every time,
Is that I have an hour to eat and drink drink drink
Till I forget about the job and the house and the friends I've hurt
One hour with nothing to do but refuel

I think a person needs more than one hour but
Time is like the water
Tightening when it's cold and
Retracting when it's warmed with the breath of lovers

My lenses become the shade of
Cranberry lemonade
Food sits uneaten in front of me

I know why we do what we do
Why we lie and hide, cover our tracks so nobody knows what we're up to

But we all find out in time
It all comes out, we all cry

And still I don't want to hurt you with my truth, but now I'll tell you,
because of what you put me through

I was 2 weeks away from giving birth to our child and you were sending **** pics to strangers on the internet
(You made me feel guilty for not folding the laundry)

I was 10 days post-partum, still bleeding barley walking, giving my body to our newborn baby
and you were
Sending **** pics to strangers on the internet
(While I hosted Christmas dinner for your family)

Your excuse is you were •lonely•
(We weren't enough for you)
I was so happy and she is so beautiful but
Still we're not good enough for you

The days of nursing Emmy were all I needed to be happy
-You-
felt left out
Blamed your deep rooted issues on me
Mentally abused for 5 years, took advantage of my depressive states
Made me think my flesh and blood was better off without me

But you know what I've learned from this horrendous discovery?
Not one bit of it was my fault
And all along, I thought it was.
My daydreams of death are long gone

Thank you, God, I'm free to live.

The guys lately been trying to tell me
To better who I am increase my productivity
I ask him how he got this way
How'd he work it out so easily
He's getting up in age, I trust him
He says "I didn't want to be a product of my environment
I didn't let my parents abuse destroy
I take the good with the bad and
Am grateful for every day I wake up alive."
He's getting up there in age so I trust him.

Me I revel in the pain
I'm more frustrated by the day to day but
My misery feels like a warm murky bath
It covers my skin and sinks right in changing my DNA,
Embraces the demon I'm becoming

To me, you are love.
You are the quiet tenderness of a serene night and the bright excitement of a new day.
You hold the scent of sweet flowers knotted up in your curls, and the bite of the ocean in your scalp slick with sweat.
Tonight, you hugged your mommy tight. And I inhaled the scent that makes you you,
for the millionth time.

When I feel wet
Tight skin tight ponytail so tight
My face is Alien esque
I go underneath the covers and I
Go
Some place else
...
My palms pressed against the furry fleece blanket and I'm in touch with another dimension
I feel his hands against mine
I know I'm his
And he is mine
I've broken a breach with reality
And I am somewhere else
.
The only place that matters
The arms of someone else

let's have one of those quick loves
the kind that makes you sick love
I mean sick with longing for the
beginning, middle, and end
of this dreamy card trick love

I don't expect perfection
we're both so much less than
anyway I couldn't stomach the wait

It's ***** in your lap
Hot stench cooling through your denim
It's idealistic dreams smashed
Against fragile glass that
Never had a leg to stand on
It's lies and *******
Delivered to your doorstep
It's inconsistency plain to see

But I
Couldn't let go of the pain
I let your rain fall down on me
I took it in a two step stride
What kind of fool am I
To think it'd return a favor to me

But I'm
Just a dream you couldn't keep
A lie you couldn't sleep
Through the night with
Feeling guilt free

And I
Take advantage of all things that
Show interest in me

I fight
I break up
Get drunk then
I make up
With the monster that you made me

But I had to let go of the pain

Let love rain down on me

It was fun pretending but
We'll never know

Have fun in fairy land
It never really lasts
Reality gets ahold so strong

But I

Had to let go of the pain

Let love rain down on me

Oh I store my food like
The hummingbird
Living 'neath a hawks
Radial safety

I throw caution to the wind
But not without observing
The chances of survival
Should I take this opportunity...
Not without
the careful consideration
I've thrown humanly to the wind

I am not the United States
I am the mountains
We are all seasonal things.

I've never seen such peace
As that which follows him
Transparency blurring
Stillness beckoning
"Follow me"