I could quit if I wanted to
But I don't

i chose to be happy
not to hear you clap for me
but to love without fear of the world
i chose to let many things go
and to let little things go without appreciation
because this isn't a time when we need to let good acts slide

catch me before i retrace my steps
start reading between the lines
hold me before i realize your arms
are not safe and warm like i thought
tell me you love me
like you love me
before i realize those words mean nothing to you but
nevertheless
nevertheless...

we still call it love
though you never made me feel like enough
and the truth is i'm over it
lying my way through this
she still calls it love
though pain is more welcome than us
and she never got over it
because that's just the way it is.

but i can't call it love
because i need to feel like enough
and i'm done
i'm over it
lying my way through this
and i finally see
that pain is more welcome than me
and i can't control any of it
and thats just the way i live
*and i'm done... i'm over it.

if you feel to lonely
let me be your friend
if you feel too closed off
let somebody in
if you feel like you’re not strong enough
get some weights and go to town
and smile at yourself
even when all you wanna do is frown

there’s power in a smile
but there’s no weakness in tears
realize that you’re small
but a giant compared to your fears
take small steps towards a mountain
then run the last lap to victory
expect more of yourself than people expect of you
you know goals better than any

what i say

i mean with the kindest of hearts

my love

is often mistaken for hate

because sometimes my visions spill out of my mouth when i see the life you’re trying to create

just take 

a look

but don’t look with your eyes

your eyes can’t see when your mind starts to fly

what i say

i say with an authority i shouldn’t have 

inhibition delivering me to my very well deserved state

teenage dream

but the dreams i have are controlled chaos 

nightmares that twist my rib cage towards the so desired truth

what i say

is the result of you trying to bleach me

teach me the truth that was passed down to greet me

wash me of my secret maturity

because its rude to stand up for what i believe in 
if what i believe in

is on the opposite end of a person over five years older than me

what i say 

is more than an everyday opinion 

i have washed that word from my vocabulary 

and protested it to no end
what i say

is not the result of the lack of thinking

it’s the result of admitting that the lack of thinking created this mess that we call

freedom of speech

and i know a little more of what it’s like

to become an object of a proven point

when your point has been proven by others

and you have to sharpen the edges for it to be seen as the same words

and i don’t know every scripture 
but i know that God is love

so why are those three words seen differently on Sunday morning out of a preachers mouth?

and i’m no republican (sorry daddy) but i know my God given rights
my country given rights
and my self given rights

but i no longer see that integrity in the cops we throw outside

and i dare say 
i am afraid of the american flag

because the fabric is being held against our mouths 
silencing us by giving us freedom

but if i brought these things up to you 

you wouldn’t understand

because you take part in the war

and don’t feel the land and it’s plans

70% of the people i know could tell me i’m wise

but when the time comes to talk i gotta sit on the sidelines
and watch people potentially ruin their lives 

because i’m 13

all i have to worry about are friendships 

and lies

and homework 

and guys

and i’m not downplaying these things

i’m just saying

a lot of adults have signed me up for wars

and told me i’m not ready for the training

but hey

what do i know

i’m only 13

but just because a cut is small

doesn’t mean it won’t bleed

and experience means nothing without integrity 

which is better than anything you could ever teach

so when i speak

someone is bound to listen to me

and to that one random person 

who i’ll probably never meet

thank you
for being a part of the solution

despite the fact 
that we’re only 13

and in case you were wondering about the other 30

in the percentage above
**
it’s my family

their colors light up the sky
after the most threatening storms

they make the world feel safe and warm

but though they bring so many smiles

the rainbow
doesn’t smile

no 

it is the very metaphor for the depressed and the broken

all the rainbow asks for is a token of appreciation

but it’s enough 
just to make you smile

because the rainbow will trade it’s happiness 
for yours

will shake the very floors of your eyes

what a surprise
rainbow is depressed?

but she’s so pretty…

she’s skinny
*
her waist is the size of the outside of her mirror

her stomach is empty

when she breaths in 
she sorta stays there

but she’s skinny

she’s skinny
she cuts 
more than she eats
but she’s skinny

she’s skinny
she pretends her birthday makeup will change

anything

but she’s skinny

she’s skinny

she can barley breathe**

*but she’s skinny