She repeats patterns she learned from home.
She is blinded by her actions.
Justifying what happened.
She’s the hurt one,
not them.
She knows the answers.
No one listens.
That’s her truth.
People leave.
They don’t agree.
She’s alone,
Saying, why me?
Until the pain is too great to change,
She’ll see herself as a victim,
and continue living the same.
Isolated.

I have to heal my inner wounds.
I have to face reality.
I contributed to this relationship. (Mess)
I feel remorse.
I am ashamed.
I’m ready to start,
and face my inner pain.
In time I see,
I am at peace.
Thank you, me,
Thank you for not giving up.

First love

It was me I missed.

I miss the me that loved so freely,

the me that trusted you to protect me.

I loved you because I loved me then.

I was vulnerable.
I was naive.
I gave in willingly to be yours—
just to feel something.
You took me for granted.

You found someone new.

Yet you came back, time and time again.

I was your safe place,
your comfort.

You are selfish!
I’m left to pick up the pieces
,
whenever you decide to leave.
I let you back in,
but I grew numb….no I am numb—not knowing if I even wanted you back anymore.
I know we both care,
 but we both had growing up to do. I had to learn to do so without you.
I cannot carry your pain
 and carry mine too.

Time heals, words fade.
 Actions show.
You’re a beautiful mistake.
I choose me, not you.

Abuse

It’s not black or white
No one will understand
I went through something
I’m still processing
I am sad but I don’t understand why
I am loved and I am in pain
Why can’t they stop hurting me
I’m too young to protect myself
I need to protect them
I need it to stop
Why can’t they see I’m hurt
It’s all a blur
Memories are a blur
The feelings remain
I’m ashamed
I’m angry
I cry for my family
I cry for me