it walks beside me. but there is only one shadow.
 my friends can’t see it and my family says it doesn’t exist.
 sometimes i’m not sure it’s there. but then i see it. 
it ties me to my bed and stares at me while i toss and turn.
 it haunts my dreams and pulls on my steering wheel.
 it holds my head straight when i try to cross the road. and 
it always picks out the sharpest tool in the shed.
 we spend a lot of time together.
sometimes it brings friends. their hands feel like fists.
 they tell me not to eat. they tell me that you’re hurting me. they tell me about my memories as if my body was an iceberg and my life was the titanic. 
they tell me i was born a trauma. 
sometimes it wants alone time. one on one. 
in a dark room. just us two. and some shiny metal.
but when the sun rises and the earth is covered in yellow. our favourite place to go is the bridge.
 i like the view. 
it likes the height.

My words are like smoke
Tendrils of murk branching out
Disintegrating at my touch
I try to grasp them, each and every one
Forge them into weapons to slay the world
Carving truths into skin, deforming souls
But they slink away and leave me hollow
Like wild beasts, they can't be tamed
Shoved into little boxes of rhythms and rhymes
They fear me as much as I fear them

Maybe the trick is to sit and wait,
Let the fog consume me
Use me, forge me, I beg you
Make a weapon out of me
Scar me with your truths, warp my soul
Dig your claws in and pull my strings
Rip me apart, if you must

Whatever it takes
I surrender.