When you see my face you’ll see joy and happiness
But when you look into my eyes you’ll see the pain and misery
My thoughts aren’t accurate with the words that I speak
But your mind isn’t concentrated on how I’m so weak

Though I say I’m alright
I’m happy
I’m fine
On the inside, I’m hurting
I’m crying
I’m yelling

You do yes I know, I know you do care
But I can’t reveal myself, for you may glare
The cuts and the tears, they aren’t ever shown
And the misery is hidden and never aglow

My happiness is yours, I reflect and I stare
My feelings are nothing
And you couldn’t bear
The life that I live
So silently away
I love and I live
I lose and I gain

But this isn’t me
I’ll never be the same
My losses seem more
More than I’ve gained
And here I am smiling with old old pain
I’ve loved and I’ve lived
I’ve lost and I’ve gained

My smile is staying
For that’s what you like
But at the end of the day
I’ll go in my room
I’ll curl and cry and I may cut too

Though I say it’s okay
I’m not sad
I’m no mad
I do indeed love you
But I need someone too

I almost drove 10 hours
To see your droopy tired eyes
To caress your soft and perfect hair
And to lay your head upon my thighs

I almost drove 10 hours
So I could drown in your perfect smile
And to see those eyes light up
Becuase you haven't seen me in awhile

I almost drove 10 hours
So we could be side by side
But you sorely begged me not to
So I sat in my room and cried

My life was fine and I was happy
And then you showed up
And everything went abrupt

You made me laugh until my face went numb
My problems you held like a forceful gun
I soon discovered an emotion I'd never felt
And you ripped it away from my fragile heart

My eyes once glowed like the stars beaming bright
But now they're filled with the sea spilling out
It's true you listened and that is no doubt
But you showed no remorse and simply threw me about

For so long I clung to you, scared of the world around
And now I'm sitting in my room unable to move about
In fear of being alone

I thought I was broke
And you would make me whole
But I didn't realize you tore me one by one
Into pieces I lost, long ago with my smile

I cried every day
And forced you to keep me together
But little did I know that you couldn't find me either
Gave up on my life and lusted for me rather

I thought that it was love
But it was too late when I found out
That you were the one to hide my pieces
And wrote love on each end
To make me think that it was okay to be used over and over again

It’s not that I don’t think about you anymore
Because I do
You’re always in the back of my head

But I don’t sulk over you
I don’t cry because of you
I don’t laugh anymore when I talk to you

I’m so glad you’re gone
Or maybe just not present as much anymore
It’s such a relief

It was painful at first
Just the thought without you made me feel alone
I thought I’d always feel this way

And then a miracle happened
He came into my life
He helped me push you away, whether he knew it or not

He helped me stand my ground
I can see so much clearer
And he holds me when I cry

Unlike you when I felt like I should die

I don't think I'm ever going to be enough for you
I'm not going to be what you truly want
Maybe you think you love me because I was the first girl to really catch your eye
But I'm not going to be the only one
I have problems you want to fix
But that's not your job, it's mine
I would be lying if I said you didn't help me pick my head up, you did
But you can't fix me 100%
That's my job, I have no clue how
But you've helped me figure things out
I don't think I'm good for you, I'm an unhealthy addiction
You probably don't see it now
But you'll realize I'm not the only pearl in the sea
You just settled with the first one you found and in reality, my clam is empty
I'm toxic

It's the truth
I love nobody else but you
You're my lover
You're my friend
I never want our love to end
But it has to and you and I know why
This reason makes me cry
I never want to leave you
I want to stay by your side
But no matter where I go
You'll always be in my heart
Even though we'll be miles apart
I'll still love you from light to dark

A world full of sorrowful delicacy
Butterflies in the air
Suffocating in beauty
Sweet attachments
My teeth ache immensely

Love is taking over my mind
Where to begin
Drowning in oceans of tears
Sky's full of fears
Mountains moved
Trees swayed
Yet nothings changed