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If I were to scream
while drowning in water
would anyone hear me?
My entire life,
I have been waiting.
For years,
Almost two decades now
I have been waiting.
For the better parts.
For the “soon”.
For my life to begin.
I don’t feel like I have lived.
In the nearly twenty years
I have been alive
And breathing
I do not feel
In any of those years
That I have been alive.
I don’t feel like a single breath
That I have taken
Has been real.
I feel as if
All these years
I’ve been stuck
Behind a window
Watching as my life unfolds
Before me.
I feel that
I have had
Zero control.
That I am in the backseat
Letting someone else drive.
That someone else,
Is writing on the pages
Of MY life.
But no more.
I will break that window,
I will take that wheel,
And I will write
My own pages.
My life has begun,
And now -
I’m in control.
Yesterday, April 8th, was my birthday. I wrote this poem two years ago, when I was 19 almost 20, and on my 22nd birthday I find that the website selected it as a daily and I have all these wonderful people saying wonderful things about my poetry. Thank you Hello Poetry, and thank you everyone else. This was the best birthday present I could have even gotten. (04/09/2021)
Once, a very long time ago
You truly understood our woes
Your youthful energy burned bright
Promising to deliver us from limbo
Indeed, a welcome beacon in the dark

Maybe it was the lesser evil
For surely, the corrupt regime had to go
In crises like those, sacrifices had to be made
So we dutifully turned our backs
And let the blood flow

For a while, you were the ideal leader
Our dear and beloved liberator
The butchery forgotten, tranquility returned
Success for all was certain
The fruits of democracy as we know it

It was all too good to be true
Murmurs of discontent flared
Pertinent questions arose, zero answers came forth
The leader had lost sight of the noble goal
Democracy was a mere mirage

Injustice of all forms is meted out generously
****** and gore freely roam the streets
Empty pockets stare at us mockingly
Tears stain our cheeks
We call to the government in vain

So here we stand once again
Swearing that the correct regime must go
More than ready to sacrifice
But the blood.Oh God!the blood
Let blood not flow...
My life's too dreary
Why did I boast?
Now I'm paying the cost
Oh! I'm so weary

Been on too many journeys
Carrying heavy loads
On life's numerous roads
Too weak to survive life's tourneys

They told me home is best
There I can find the cure
Then maybe,I'll become pure
When the beast in me finds rest

That's why I'm here on my knee
With tears in my eye
Sorry 'bout you and I
I'm still just trying to find me.
the currency of
grieving is in....

casseroles and soups,
left with notes,
on the back doorstep

flowers, bright, beautiful
and fragant,
delivered by gangling, teenage boys.

awkard silences and cups
of lukewarm tea.
mumbled condolences and
too tight hugs

late night rememberances,
far too many drinks

tears, laughter and
in-house jokes...
photos, stories and 
space for quiet reflection.

these things are...
the dollars and cents
of  grief for a friend

but when all is, said
and done....

i would much prefer
to be penniless,
begging on the street,
with pockets empty
and moths for friends.
but alas that is not to be...

people's kindness in grief
is both binding and unbinding..... but always
well intentioned
I dreamt that we were really free
Like the soaring birds in the air
We went standing under the mango tree
And finally life was fair

I dreamt that we freely showed our love
We touched and kissed in the gardens
The birds peacefully sang from above
And we didn't share the world's burdens

I only wish dreams came true
We'd have a life where only happiness flows
The sky would always be blue
And we'd never have to face life's blows

But they'll only ever be dreams
We've got to learn to live with guilt
Cause our forbidden passion is full to the brims
And we'll wonder why the world is so unfairly built

Life offers no honey
When you have no money
There isn't time to be jolly
When everything is phony

Life is bent
When you live without a cent
Always worrying about rent
When everyday is lent

Life is long
When you just can't belong
Can't listen to no sweet song
Cause they're all kinda wrong

Life is no gain
When everyday it rains
You can never be main
Just can't watch to be lain_dead.


— The End —