She warned me, of "is" becoming "was"
I thought, just enjoy this "is" and let it slowly become "was"
Now I'm lost, for the cause of "is" becoming "was" was to be for a better cause
Or so I thought

It happened, I knew it wasn't going to be the best experience
Buh me and bro always said to ourselves, it will become a memory
I tried as much as possible to be the ideal meaning of obedience
Buh with them, you still have to act careful carefully

And so we were told, I should be weary for I don't know what truth people will unfold
Old, bewildered by the statement behold, were the people who were making my current "is" cold
She oughta know, that her seedling  isn't one to go with the flow
And now, the bow, the phone, the words, the arrow

With all I was told, I couldn't have been trusted enough that there's a reason I'm bold
My bold, mistaken for disrespect to my older foes
I wasn't expecting someone so close to misinterpret my bold
Buh a little distance, messed us up way too low

Sigh, what more could she have said
Manipulative was all she said buh all the abusive words combined couldn't have meant what she meant
They can't handle someone who wouldn't be submissively controlled because I'm a product of their rent
I'm hurt, she's hurt, buh this time, I deserve some respect

With all you told me, you really think I'll go out with just anyone
From everyone to anyone, I made you understand this dude is still a number one
It's fine if I'm to be sealed in like they wish, I just need one good reason why you and them do what you did

Bet you didn't know this side of me still exists
The one that takes up a pen and paper when he's truly sick of how different things persists
I thought it died, cos we've never made it to this level
I just realized the closest people are the ones that bring out my rhythmic rebel

I CAN'T FAIL!!!
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Jump in,
Failure is high, the way that it holds, it's grasps to the souls, feels like a real ongoing demise
It puts you on low, it throws you to grow, buh ***** it I know, I have to decide
Which way that I go, which feeling to show, when all of the "No's" are filling inside
I'm not my own foe, but inside the dough, of being above is a big compromise

My peak on the rise, look in my eyes, you will see this time, I've come to realize
It wasn't a plan, I wrote this just now, The grim on my face, says I've got to be wise
Needless to write, I gotta sit down, move at the world's pace and move to the side
The failure that's flirting, distractions that are lurking, I gotta keep burning, the zeal inside

I ain't recording, but it feels like there's nothing that's gonna stop me from reaching my prime
Maybe that's why, all of a sudden, I feel it urging to put words that rhyme
When I enter this time, I'm cooking so hard, that I don't look picture perfect but rather look fried
Cos since I'm alive, I just don't see why, I should be behind, when I need to arrive

Ouch, A pinch brought me out of where I was
Where was I, who was I, i suddenly felt the urge to sigh
Ooooff, it was my birthday, I was turning 18, another rating, said my friends who were also anticipating
Was I alright?, Miss Chad looked at me in fright

I don't know, Just started looking at classic **** a little to deep
I suddenly knew what to throw away and what to keep
Some birthday gifts just weirdly started spelling the word "creep"
Am I but another lost person or lost sheep

Nauseous, I thought I was sick
I turned on the TV and started calling Rick and Morty, Morty and Rick
It amounted to no time that my homies started seeing signs of the ick
From chilling with the mandem to playing the ladies's pick a *****

Now I'm at a refute to leave
I'm no longer able to play "lots to take, less to give"
Wait, I now have my own taxes and bills
The money I have at my disposal, gives me the chills

Hold on, wait, is this truly maturity
This isn't what my friends told me I should be expecting
Well, it's happened, and at least, I know it can be handled
***** maturity, ***** grown-ups, alas, they are still boats you have to paddle!!!!!

How do I tell you what the world terms a taboo
How do I tell you that you secretly became my hue
How do I tell you, that friends is fine, buh heart warming will be "babe and boo"
As a friend, I've seen through you, I now can acknowledge what is true

Cos I've suppressed my feelings in different lines and stanzas
Hoping I could get one opportunity to have some dines and a few answers
I don't think you know that smile of yours literally just shines rays into my Lantern
I'd rather write about my feelings since I threw my spine in the cavern

Justin said there is no innocent one in this game of two.
But the feelings I hold for the dudes that are two keep me in the blue.
I can't say that I love them both, but I want there to be one I can breathe through
That one person my heart keeps screaming in my head "lucky you, lucky you, lucky you"❤️

I want that one that holds me so close that I can feel his heartbeat.
The one who would hate to take me on dates and see me at the backseat.
That one masculine my body just always want to be in contact with
But still won't expect anything outrageous from me out of ecstasy

I'm still stuck though, I don't know which one of them will match my flow
I don't know which one of them will put on my face a glow
I don't know which one will actually love me and not call me a ***
I don't know which one my heart wants and which one is a show

One calls me his honey pie, one calls me his one true eye
One calls me every night, one calls me a fortnight
I am attracted to them both, but fidelity won't help keep both
But I think I oughta know, unless I'm slower than a sloth

It's him, the one my heart kept loving till the rim
The one I love from when he's smiling to even his grim
The one I tried to stop loving limb to limb
Fantasizing touching him makes me wanna scream

I can't play *** for tat any longer
My heart keeps aching anytime your scent is yonder
Let's not wonder, I'm leaving him and his Honda
We're stronger and I know we would do even better together