a stranger of my own house

coming home feels like another never ending torture

another heavy breath

telling myself, it will be okay

telling myself, don’t be tired

Please tell those with broken bone

i am jealous

Please tell those that bleed

i am jealous

Because i feel like every bone in my body has broken

But my body wont be bleeding

I cant cry

I cant scream in pain

Please tell those with broken bone

I am jealous

Please tell those that bleed

I am jealous

Because people will rush to help them

Because people can see their pain

A smiling face with big appetite

No one can tell i almost **** myself last night

This life isnt marvel cinematic universe
Where superheros saving you from the villain
In this life, night time has become my morning
And morning time has become my night time
I am stuck on depression time zone
Where i wake up from nightmare to nightmare
Where my minds start to confuse whats real and whats on my mind
Where i cant find a button to silence my own thoughts
Where people stare's undressed me
How could they save me even if its a superhero movie
When the villain lives in me
Maybe i cant be saved,
Because pain has became my comfort
Because hope terrifies me

I dont know how long its been to brush my hair because i loved it
I dont know how long its been to take a selfie and feeling pretty
I dont know how long its been since i feel good about my self

I look at the mirror to find disgust
Look how unpretty she is
Look at those fat
Look at those acnes
Look at how big that nose
Look at how wide that forehead

She wanted to look good on that lipstic, yet they said she look like a clown
She wanted to look good on that outfit, yet they laugh at her
And she wears lousy outfit
And she forgets how much she like those lipstic
And then she began to wish to dissapear
She wish to be forgotten
She wish to be gone