Ovid - Hello Poetry

Ovid Feb 2016

Persist

Your company is daunting
That stare is unsettling
It's obvious you don't know what uselessness is
You're infinitely wanted while I'm never needed
Love isn't for the hopeless
Hate me for being conceded
I'm just being what you've been all along
And the difference is no one will come to me while I'm lost in myself
I have to search and get shot down while looking for someone else
I'm waiting to get a new head
But I know the way I act and think are the same
I mean every word I say
Though you can't look me in the eyes
I can't change even if I tried

#change #longing #emo

Ovid Jan 2016

Wither

It's been a while so I'll let nicotine spin my head
Turned the heat off because I like it cool around my blanket
And I'll pretend every word we shared was unsaid
At least I tried but as for now I'll force myself to forget
Staring myself in the mirror wondering is this reality
Flashbacks to how it was make me grit my teeth
I'll brush them and go about and find another reason to be cheesing
But I guess I'll imagine a world with myself which you will never see
Then I'll reflect how no one has ever been there
I have my boys so it will balance out so I believe that what's missing is fair
For now I'll puff some more out because I couldn't regret or care!

Not sure if this is finished

#depression #regret #hate #longing #emo

Ovid Jan 2016

My Words

I'm lost in search of comfort
I'm tired of looking and being tense
Can someone put in effort?
All this longing doesn't make much sense

All I want is relinquished fear
My cries are on the inside
How could I ever expect anyone to hear?
My wounds and words coincide

And I would never want to burden you with my words
So walk away and stay never
My thoughts are the worst instructions I've ever heard
Just take the high road and avoid this deep river

#depression #regret #hate #longing #forgotten #emo

Ovid Jan 2016

White sky

Sound the trumpets for my time has come
The wishes of every breakdown I've ever had are coming true
My questions however are answered as I sink into exile
All along, I knew why things weren't my way
I must wave my hand at the sun because warmth shall be a memory
My suffering will not be of fire, but what I felt all along
Freezing in loneliness
Every soul I've ever crossed paths with will forget me
And the creator will too forget me, as I wander in torment, freezing, and watching my flesh turn blue
I beckoned the sky to rid me of my timidness when I was a pest to the earth
Now that I've been cleansed,
I cry to the sky to plunge me into fire, so that screams will replace my cries

#hell #depression #longing #loneliness #floating

Ovid Jan 2016

The Serpent

Into the ocean where my reflection is skewed
In the deep where my lungs can't be used
I'll float lifeless for ages while I see everyone breathe
My longing for answers now has me grit my teeth

Sadness is replaced by hate
And hate is more destructive than love
Love will make you hold on
Hate will make you grasp their heads and slit their throats

The time I spent underwater
No one even came under or cared
There is now an omen umong us
A serpent whose goal is despair
This creature wants its revenge
Loneliness left him a bitter taste in the air
How can one hold their composure starving while the masses binge?

This outrage will soon turn back to sadness
And I'll return to the ocean...
...Where I was always meant to be
I'll lose all sense of life with my eyes still open

#depression #anger #hate #longing #restlessness

Ovid Nov 2015

Start Over

Here I am again in my smoke ridden den
Lost in my thoughts but no where to be found inside your head
Every word unsaid was probably for the best
I'll have to start over with an emptiness in my chest
I wish I was worth something so I could use my confidence
My efforts to be better are masked by the loathing of insignificance and irrelevance
I'll sleep with hate for myself and everything in the world
I can't tell a soul how I truly am because no would want to ask again
And I'll be here the same as I was last year and the ones before
No direction but to just go forward
There's a cliff to my left where I can sink lower
The light to my right is where I can drop all and start over
What I want isn't what the world needs
I tell myself to waste everyone else's oxygen and breathe
It's best to stay quiet because I want no one to know what's underneath
My day will come when I come around...

#alone #longing #emptiness #long #emo

Ovid Nov 2015

Only Ocean

The cold is the only warmth I've known
The heat only comes from within and all there is to come
The only rise I have is when the waves lift me to my apex
My only apex
The trough is where I've been and belong
To be drowning for so long some thirst has to be quenched
The relentless reality of a drifter is forever lost
Sorrow only grows and is never relinquished
Misfit into an ocean of hungry sharks
Drown or be bitten apart

#sink #drown #emo