a child
So small and fragile
So innocent and strong
So delicate and alive
So wanting to belong

you*
So cold and unforgiving
So weak and towering
So uninhibited and fumbling
So dead and crumbling

You turned the child into you
You made **** sure of that
You turned the child against the world
You made its foundation crack

The child wanted to breathe
The child wanted to laugh
The child needed love
The child got none back

I  know how much you never wanted me
You don't know that I know
Or maybe you do and that's why you're so distant
As much as I want to I could never fix it
It hurts to think that you favor them more
That they're yours and pure, through marriage even more
I was a surprise, a mistake; unexpected
21 years later, a relationship formed and weary
Straining and wearing thin
Maybe I'll never know what it's like to be close
Maybe I'll never see what a healthy relationship is
You'll always be a hero to me
I'll always be your greatest sin

Try as I might, I cannot refer to you with anyother title
For you had unfortunately raised me
You stood there
Unaware, as my childhood grazed me
I never saw it coming
You never asked for me
I never wanted this to happen
For you to cry over me
I thought you'd be glad
You got what you wanted
Me out of your life
But like a ghost I still haunted
Your memories of regret
Your memories of pride
All those nights crying
We shamelessly lie
I'm sorry you find your sanity in a bottle of wine
I'm sorry I find mine in a bottle that was prescribed
We both need our peace
We both need our distance
If it helps you to know
I'd love you to listen
About how I still care, deep in my heart
I'm sorry that our minds
Tore us apart

It’s always another day
Always another season
Always another year
I still feel the way i felt
I’m still unclear
About how it all went down
How it all crashed and burnt without a sound