There’s one difference between us.
I never hurt you intentionally.
I wish I could say the same for you.

I should probably just get over it.
It’s been years after all.
You see, it still hurts like yesterday.

Searing pain. As fresh as the day you disappeared.

You’d be proud of me Askim
I’ve achieved so much
I’m driven by the pain
**** it burns inside me
I want you to be proud
Despite my anger
I guess you’ll never know now
So what does it matter

I told someone about you yesterday
I told them about us.
Of the love. Of the loss. Of the pain and desolation.

I don’t talk of us lightly.
But it was the right thing to do
You see he was in the same situation
And he couldn’t see out of the hole

I’ve been there, you see
I clawed my way out without you
So I lent him my hand
Proof that loss of your ikizim isn’t a death sentence
Just a life in which you feel dead

I’m still mad with you and I haven’t forgiven you.
Just in case you were wondering...
I still love you too. Always will...
And ****** I still think about you daily.
Sometimes good, mostly painful.

Do you remember the good times?
Do you think badly of me?
Do you think of me at all?

I wish I could call you
I wish I could hug you
I wish I could see you smile
I wish I knew when I’ll see you next
I wish I knew if you still think of me at all
I wish I wish I wish I could kiss you

I wonder if you miss me like I miss you?

For the record I don’t write these for you
It’s my therapy. Mine alone.
A therapy you denied me.
You don’t deserve it.
It’s all I have left.

I’d do almost anything for you.
Almost anything.
Almost.
Not that...
I won’t leave my own flesh and blood.
Now I pay the price. We both do.
You’ve never stared into your own soul, young, innocent and wholly dependent on you.
I bet you hate me for it some days...
That makes two of us.
So be it.
Doesn’t make it any easier.