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Aug 12 · 139
see you soon
love isn’t easy
but when you find someone like I found
it makes everything worth it

every fight
every tear
every up and down becomes worth it
because you know that you can withstand anything

saying goodbye isn’t easy
when they’re all you’ve known
so instead
it’s see you soon
had to send my boyfriend off to college today, and I realized even more how lucky I am.
Jul 31 · 122
you’ve just been acting so different lately...
not saying long goodnights,
not talking to me as much.

is there someone else?
is there something on your mind?

just tell me already so I can get some sleep.
Jun 26 · 83
outer space
i’ve always loved reading about outer space,
the planets,
the stars,
the moons.

little did I know,
I only need to be with you,
to experience zero gravity.
haven’t written in awhile, came up with this off the top of my head
February 16: 15 confirmed cases of COVID-19 in the U.S.

March 7: The first case of COVID-19 in my home state.

March 13: A survey gets sent out about our ability to learn at home, and what kind of technology we have to do that.

March 15: All schools in my state close, suspected to reopen April 6.

March 26: The governor makes the decision that all of the schools in our state will remain closed until the next school year.

In a matter of weeks, everything was ripped away from me, and being a senior in high school, I was one of the ones that got the short end of the stick. This year, I was supposed to attend my first and last prom with my boyfriend, we decided that last year we didn't want to go, as our school dances are always overrated, and we wanted to save money for a better experience this year. That's gone now. This year, I was going to perform in my 13th and final dance recital, performing in 7 numbers, one of them being my senior solo, and the only solo I've ever received. That's all gone now (most likely). This year, I was supposed to walk across the stage in our hockey arena and receive my diploma, confirming that I accomplished what I set out to do when I first got put in school 12 years ago. That too, is gone. I do hold onto hope that they will find a way to have us walk, but the hope for that keeps dwindling and dwindling.

COVID-19 is a serious virus, and all of the closings we are experiencing are essential. The school closings are NOT just a chance for you to party more, they are NOT a chance for you to hang out with all of your friends and be in big groups, and they are NOT a time to be selfish. It's not just yourselves that you're putting at risk by being in large groups, it's others too. Think of your friends, maybe one of them has asthma or a heart condition, or maybe an autoimmune disorder. Think of them. Think of your grandparents, and your friends grandparents. Think of people in your life other than yourself. This pandemic has changed the way we live, and will continue to do that even after it's over. Life as we know it will be different. Do not take this opportunity of remote learning to be selfish and possibly aid in the spread of the virus. Be cautious.

Stay healthy.

From a heartbroken senior doing her job.
Please be diligent during this time, and do what you can to stop the spread and flatten the curve.
Dec 2018 · 208
Christmas Eve 2018
Olivia Christine Dec 2018
Lighting lanterns in memoriam of dear memere,
People crying and reminiscing.

Opening gifts from one another,
Being grateful for everything.

Opening your gift was the most exciting,
A little gold heart on a little gold chain.
Perfect. Like you.

My last gift from my grandmother,
A singular $20 bill.
I will hold onto that for as long as I can.
I miss you memere. More and more every day. Thank you for the $20. Thank you SG for my lovely gold necklace. I love you so much.
Dec 2018 · 66
Olivia Christine Dec 2018
The Silent Killer
Eating away at your mind like a lion on the carcass of a stag

The Violent Killer
Making you think that your family are your enemies
Throwing knives and hot water at the ones you love
Because you know no better

The Depressing Killer
Making you regret waking up in the morning because ******* all you want is to be with your husband and your parents
Making you angry that you’re alive

Dwindling your memory down to nearly nothing until you’re just a body
The silence that kills
Sep 2018 · 101
Cliché Love
Olivia Christine Sep 2018
I want that football player and cheerleader love
I want something with you nobody else could dream of

I love you
Aug 2018 · 299
Trying to Get Through
Olivia Christine Aug 2018
It still hasn’t completely set in yet
It still doesn’t feel real
You’re gone and won’t come back

I know that you won’t be over
But I keep holding on
Hoping for you to come back

I know that I ****** it up
I know that it’s my fault
But I would do anything
For you to come back

We had a life planned
We had it all set out
We were going to be the couple that everyone talked about

Now I lay awake
Tears running down my face
Having to take it in, and trying to face my fate

I will love you forever
I know that you don’t believe it
But you made me feel special
Now it’s all turned to ****

I’m sorry about all of this
I’m sorry that I hurt you
I hope you find someone
And build something brand new

Maybe we will cross paths again
Or maybe we will not
But I love you forever
I’ve given it all I’ve got
Break ups are the ******* worst. Especially when it’s all your fault that you broke up.
Aug 2018 · 211
What Am I Worth?
Olivia Christine Aug 2018
As you sit across from me, curled up in a ball
I wonder what my worth is, if there is any at all

I know that I'm not perfect, this I'll never be
But I always try my hardest, this I hope you see

I hope one day I figure out what's wrong inside my mind
But until then I sit here, watching, but feeling oh so blind
Worthless?  or  Full of worth?
Apr 2018 · 314
Against the World
Olivia Christine Apr 2018
Say that you love me
And that you’re happy you’re mine
Tell me that you love me forever
And that we’ll always be together
Take my hand and walk with me along the beach of memories
It’s us against the world
SMG- I love you more than anything. I hope you realize how strong and true my feelings for you are. I will never ever leave you. I am here for as long as you are willing to keep me. You make me happier than anything in the world and I couldn’t ever want anyone else as my boyfriend. You are truly the embodiment of a perfect boyfriend. You are silly and funny and I’m forever thankful for you.
Apr 2018 · 174
Please Don’t Go
Olivia Christine Apr 2018
Please don’t go.
You’re all I’ve ever wanted
You’re all I’ve ever needed

Please don’t go.
You’re what keeps me happy
You’re what keeps me sane

Please don’t go.
You’re what completes me
I’m no good without you

Please don’t go.
I love you
I need you
Anxiety overwhelms me as I think and think and think. Please don’t leave me. I need you in my life
Apr 2018 · 136
I Find Myself
Olivia Christine Apr 2018
I find myself sitting in bed at various times missing you
I find myself texting you right when I wake up
I find myself in your arms at your house
I find myself never wanting to live without you
I find myself when I’m with you

I love you. Forever and always.
I love you SMG, more than anything in the world
Mar 2018 · 208
A Prayer For Gram
Olivia Christine Mar 2018
I pray that you don’t suffer anymore, and that you no longer suffer. I pray that you remember me, and all of our family. I pray that you find grandpa, and that you also find happiness. I pray that you always know I love you, and that you know that I will always remember and miss you. Please tell grandpa a hello and I love you for me. I miss him just as much as I’ll miss you. I haven’t fully wrapped my head around the fact that you’re gone. It doesn’t seem true. A week ago you were fine. Three days ago you were awake and talking. I miss you already. I love you, forever and always Gram.
It doesn’t seem real, you’re actually gone and I’ll never see you again...
Feb 2018 · 188
The Way You Look Sleeping
Olivia Christine Feb 2018
The most handsome human being the Lord has ever created

Holding hands and cuddling as you sleep with me
Thank you. Thank you for endless love and happiness
Feb 2018 · 238
"Don't Cry"
Olivia Christine Feb 2018
I miss you
This is true
The way you held me
Happier than I could ever be

In your arms
Hope swarms
You and I forever
Quite possibly now, never

No attention
Stuck in suspension
Waiting on you
Maybe love will brew

"Don't cry” you say
As you're miles away
In my heart, far apart
In my mind, you're still mine...
I miss you, crying is getting me nowhere...
Feb 2018 · 144
Like You Care
Olivia Christine Feb 2018
Liar, liar, liar.
I guess thats all I am,
To you, to him, to everyone.
Lying gets you nowhere
Feb 2018 · 144
Perfect, We Are
Olivia Christine Feb 2018
My happiness, it's so true
But only when I'm with you

Time, it stops
Like the ticking of an old clock

Love, it's true
For you and only you

The world is brighter
And you hold me tighter

This love is something I don't want to lose
A bond greater than anything

So take my hand
And teach me to dance
Make my heart melt,
With a single glance
I'm so in love with you, I promise the world to you. I promise to never be dishonest or unfaithful, I promise to always tell you when there's an issue so it can be fixed. I promise to love you unconditionally until the end of time. I promise to be yours along as you'll be mine. You're my everything
Jan 2018 · 248
A Poem To My Love
Olivia Christine Jan 2018
You gave me another chance to love you
You gave me so much hope
This love we share together,
It's truly amazing

You are the one for me,
There's no doubt in my brain
Sometimes, yes, we fight
But we bounce right back again

Your eyes and lips captivate me,
I get stuck in a trance
I don't know how I got so lucky
Must have been by chance

Thank you right now,
Thank you for back then
You make me want to grow old with you
But I'll have to wait until then
SMG; I love you, forever and ever. You are the person for me. You're my happiness and my muse. I wouldn't make it without you.
Jan 2018 · 218
Olivia Christine Jan 2018
This ring with it's little green gem
Holds the place for another
My left finger; saved until the perfect time
When I am yours, and you are mine
my little peridot ring, saving the place for another someday
Jan 2018 · 188
This Is Us
Olivia Christine Jan 2018
You, in your suit
Me, in my dress
Our outfits don't match a bit
But we're perfect together
Perfectly different, and that's how I like us
Jan 2018 · 129
Never Enough
Olivia Christine Jan 2018
You could've dated anyone else... but you had to pick her.
The girl I was worried about through our whole relationship
"She's just a friend"

You moved on from me... to her.
Someone that looks like a ******* Victoria Secret Angel
"Ms. Perfect" as I call her
You upgraded.

I'm nothing compared to them.
They're beautiful... and perfect
I'm just me
Two boys, both found new loves and left their ex (me) feeling like **** because these girls are beautiful
Jan 2018 · 3.2k
To The Two
Olivia Christine Jan 2018
To the two girls who are now dating the two boys that have impacted my life in ways I can't begin to describe:

I beg of you... treat them better than I did
Respect them, never do anything to hurt them

They can make you smile in seconds, and they trust you immensely
Don't break their trust, it's hard for them to rebuild

They've been through a lot, so be careful
Don't yell, communicate

They're the sweetest boys you'll ever meet,
Please don't break them

They may not be mine anymore
But I don't want you to hurt them
**** Love
Jan 2018 · 187
New Years Resolutions
Olivia Christine Jan 2018
Without jumping to conclusions
Here are my resolutions

Don't waste time on toxic boys
All you're going to be is a toy

Don't waste time on fake friends
They probably won't be there in the end

Don't try to impress anyone
It won't end up being fun

Go to any party you want
Not much else to do in Vermont

Get as drunk or as high as you may
Whatever you do, just don't get played
New Year, new resolutions
Dec 2017 · 297
...It Will Be
Olivia Christine Dec 2017
Last night, we talked on the phone for an hour
Re-confessing our love to each other

Remembering all the good times
Apologizing about the bad

Laughing and talking with you
Is all I could ever ask for
If its meant to be, it will be. we found each other again, and I will not lose you again. hearing your voice again, made every problem just wash away. I was happy
Dec 2017 · 194
Doubtfully Over You
Olivia Christine Dec 2017
Just when I thought everything was going to look up
You texted me
A broken heart emoji is all you sent

Just when I thought maybe I had a chance
You called me
Crying, saying you're sorry you called in the first place

Just when I thought I was fully over you
You reappeared in my life
Making me doubt whether I am or not
Love is so complicated. I can't believe it
Nov 2017 · 241
He Will Try To Replace You
Olivia Christine Nov 2017
"Maybe I'll hook up with her again"
Maybe you will.
I pity you
they always say the worst things to try to make you jealous. funny how guys do that.
Nov 2017 · 211
Olivia Christine Nov 2017
No strength or hope for survival
These are the reasons why I'm suicidal

My first love, eighth grade it was
He gave me a high, gave me a buzz
Broke my heart, shattered and gone
I never recovered, but it's been all too long

My grandfathers death, 2015
He was a little old man, wise, kind, and keen
Died in his bed, on the second of June
I found out, not much past noon

My second love, a cute little nerd
He was very nice, so I had heard
He turned out to not be very nice
Our relationship was a sheet of thin ice
Easy to crack, hard to get back

My parents divorce, only a month back
I was upstairs when I heard them both snap
He started yelling, and she did too
I started crying and I turned to you
You weren't supportive, not one bit
I said goodnight, to get away from your ****

No strength or hope for survival
These are the reasons why I'm suicidal
Nov 2017 · 231
Ode to an Asshole (Vol. 1)
Olivia Christine Nov 2017
You built me up into something beautiful
Or so I had believed

Then you tore me down, piece by blessed piece

Now as I start to put myself together
You tear me down
You give me hope
But you destroy that too

Why do you do this?
Why do you manipulate me?
Why do you use me?

To build yourself up?
To make it "all better"?
To blame it all on me?

I hope one day you become a better person
Until then, I wish you luck, you'll need it
You're such an *******. I can't believe I ever trusted you and believed what you said. The worst part of it all though, is that I still love you.
Nov 2017 · 1.2k
Your Sweatshirt
Olivia Christine Nov 2017
In an attempt to get over you
I slept without your sweatshirt

All last night
Without your shirt
Tossing, turning, waking up

Tonight, I gave in
Because I know that I need you

So here it is
And here it will stay
Your sweatshirt in my arms
Day after day
I hate that I love you. I hate that no matter how much you hurt me I would still do anything for you. I hate that you're so manipulative. I hate that you play games with my head.
Nov 2017 · 337
First Puff
Olivia Christine Nov 2017
I breathe you in
You taste of mango
I let you go
You are in my system now
Giving me a high like no other
Shaky legs, excitement
I'm addicted to you, my friend
November 13th
Nov 2017 · 180
To The Love/Hate of My Life
Olivia Christine Nov 2017
I love you more than anything.
You make me so happy.
You give me a purpose.

I hate you more than anything.
I'll never be good enough for you.
And you'll never forgive me.

My love for you is complicated.
But it is also true.
So with my final line, I say;
I love, and also hate you.
I don't know what to feel for you. I just want you back.
Nov 2017 · 221
Vodka & Cranberries
Olivia Christine Nov 2017
You left me.
So I took a bottle of *****,
And I took a bottle of cranberry juice,
And got drunk.

It took everything I had to not text or call you.
Saying "hey I'm drunk and I miss you,"
You already hate me enough.

I laughed more than normal.
I almost cried too,
I was still sane,
But it had a great buzz.

You will never know how much I miss you.
So from now until you know,
I'll keep taking the *****, and the cranberry juice,
And I'll make there be no tomorrow.
they aways say, drunken words are sober thoughts...
Nov 2017 · 199
First Taste of Pain
Olivia Christine Nov 2017
The first time I heard you say you'd leave,
The first time I heard you say you don't love me,
The first time you said you were moving on,
The first time you said you loved me; you were wrong.
You were wrong, so ******* wrong. The first taste of doubt is what makes you see someones true feelings.
Nov 2017 · 128
You Act
Olivia Christine Nov 2017
You act as if you're the hurt one, as if he broke your heart and not mine.
You act as though you love him more than your own kid.
I can't ******* believe you.
I can't believe I ever did.

You act as if I'm always to blame, as if I'm just a mistake.
You act as though you want me, but never want to see me again.
Why did I ever love you?
When all you are is toxic.

You act as if I **** your life up, as if it's all because of me.
You act as though you hate me, when you contradict it with "I don't."
Should I believe you?
When whatever comes out of your mouth hurts me?

You all act as though I'm a mistake, like I'm only good for ******* up your lives.
So tell me one thing; Is that all true?
To the three people that have made me feel the best, and the worst in my life. Two of you will never read this, one of you definitely will. I hope you all now realize just what you've done to hurt me. Thank you
Nov 2017 · 255
Hazel Eyed Boy
Olivia Christine Nov 2017
Your eyes captivate me
And draw me in more and more
I used to hesitate on telling you things
But I don't anymore
You always know what to say
Though I may not like it.
My day gets better
When I see those hazel eyes
Mystery boy, oh mystery boy.
Nov 2017 · 156
One Kiss
Olivia Christine Nov 2017
Hallway walking
Stopped and talking
You smile, I smile
You hug me tight and pull me in
You look in my eyes
And then it happened
We kissed
It felt so natural
So true
To lock my lips with yours
Fireworks, butterflies, so many things
All from one kiss
This is an older one, but I love it.
Nov 2017 · 128
Olivia Christine Nov 2017
Softly I play
Carefully placing my fingers
All my thoughts drift from reach
As I play and play
On the violin of my brain
My violin is my lifeline. I don't know how I would survive without those beautiful notes
Nov 2017 · 163
Olivia Christine Nov 2017
My own touch; undefined
By yours that is divine
Unsure how to feel
My thoughts take the wheel
November 7th, 2017
Oct 2017 · 263
Better Without an Answer
Olivia Christine Oct 2017
What is love if not a journey to heartbreak?
What is life if not a journey to death?
Why do we try so hard when we will all end up the same?
Tired and alone.

Why do we feel the need to impress people that don't need to be impressed?
Why do we fall for the wrong people?

Who knows the answer to any of these questions?
Who will ever know what it feels like to die?
Or to experience true love?

Why do we help others when we cannot help ourselves?
Why do we love others when we do not love ourselves?

Why does life pose so many unanswered questions?
Maybe because some things are better when we don't know the answer.
So many questions I wish I knew the answer to... Guess I'll just have to wait and find out for myself eventually. Who knows?
Oct 2017 · 217
Olivia Christine Oct 2017
So hurt by everyone that said they'll never leave
I guess that's always how it's going to be
Just a road of broken promises
And tears to form a river

If everyone that says they won't leave does
Then how do you know if they're actually going to stay?
How do you know that they're serious
Do you know that they mean what they say?

My mind fills with endless doubts on love
A part of me longs for you
Another just wants me to give up

I spent so much time and effort on you
For a love that might not have even been true

You hurt me, I hurt you...
How do you ever know? When will you know if they will actually keep their promise and stay? Does everyone just leave eventually?
Oct 2017 · 286
Goodbye Isn't for Forever
Olivia Christine Oct 2017
I was really hoping that I would be good enough for you
You made me feel beautiful, invincible
Then you left me out to wilt, like cheap flowers
You broke me into pieces
I won't be able to piece myself together
So I'll crawl back to you
Hoping you can piece me together
You put some of the pieces back, but by the end of the night I'm broken again
I wanted to be good enough for you
For us.
Where did I go so wrong?
I can't do this; living without your presence
So I'll just plaster on a smile, act happy
And nobody will know I'm broken without you
I hope you find someone better than what I tried to be
I miss you, and I always will
Goodbye... but not forever.
It's hard to be "just friends" with someone you're in love with...
Oct 2017 · 316
Take Me Back
Olivia Christine Oct 2017
Please take me back
I can't deal with not having you
I can't deal with not texting you telling you I love you
I can't deal with not calling you

Please take me back
I'll treat you right
I'll fix what I have to
I'll make it work no matter what

I don't have another chance
I wish I did
I ******* love you and you love me
I need you in my life

Take me back please
I promise I'll make it worth it
Break-ups ****...
Oct 2017 · 178
Tell Me
Olivia Christine Oct 2017
Tell me I'm good enough
Tell me you love me the same as before
Tell me we will be okay
And that you won't walk out the door

Tell me that you don't love her
Tell me that she's just a friend
Tell me that you want to be with me
Tell me that we won't end

Tell me I look beautiful
Tell me I mean a lot to you
Tell me that we're okay
And that you want me too

Say my name like you used to
Tell me you've finally seen
That I love you beyond anything
And you're meant to be with me
Repetitive, but feelings always are
Oct 2017 · 152
Lavender Dress
Olivia Christine Oct 2017
Dance with me, twirl me around like a scene from a movie
Make my heart melt when you tell me how beautiful I look
Look into my eyes and tell me that you never want to lose me
Tell me that you’re happy to have me
Pick me up and spin me around
Lift my feet off the ground
Pull me in close and kiss me like you never have
Tell me that you love dancing with me
Tell me you wish this night would never end
Dancing with you
Sharing a new memory
Makes me want to tell you even more
That I know we are meant to be
We may fight
We may not agree all the time
But in the end
We love each other
I’m yours
And you’re mine
Technically this night has not yet happened, these are sort of like my wishes for this night when it happens #dress #lavendar #love #meant

— The End —