I keep it in a jar,
My last hope of growing old.
I won't let go of my jar,
For it's too precious
To forget.

Dad, I don't really blame you
for needing a drink,
But it's 10, the bars are opening
The stores are closing
And I'm hoping
You come home soon.

I'm pouring out my heart
For what I cannot afford.
No, I spent tokens on a cheap
Pair of happiness
For about an hour,
30 minutes to kick in.
Yeah my tokens were stolen,
My hands,
Remain broken.
My tongue still tied
And my mind remains fried.

If we're being honest,
The only thought on mind
At this point
Is suicide.

It sounds stupid,
Or selfish,
Or anything else you could call it.
There is a pressure building
In my head.
It's this feeling of regret.
It will be there every step,
And for what I do next.

I think I'm losing my faith,
No God,I know I'm losing my faith.

****, man.

I know that I'll lose myself again,
And I won't try to win.

My Ocd is flipping switches,
My adhd is pulling pupet strings,
My brain is on vaction for most of the day,
and when he comes home it's night,
his favorite time to party.....
I get no rest,
And tomorrow there's a flippin' test!

The devil plays
With idle hands,
And makes them do the devils dance.
For this I hardly stand a chance,
Cause my idle hands have begun to dance.