I wish someone told me before to never love at a young age,
Don't love so young that you lock your own cage.
I wish that I told myself to "just wait",
Instead of trying to initiate,
A passion which wasn't mine to control.

I can't get over my past when I thought it was my future,
I shouldn't agree to laugh at your reckless humour.
I trusted you more then myself,
Because you were the book that fell of the shelf,
That landed on a dead soul,
Who needed help.

You're Drowning.
You try to breathe,
Your lungs fill with water,
it burns.
It's like the burn you feel,
When you take that first shower,
While your wounds are exposed.

You're Drowning.
You know how to swim,
Your'e a good swimmer.
Why aren't you swimming?
You have been swimming for so long,
That you have forgotten how to float.
You haven't felt that first breath,
before drowning for so long,
You have forgotten the feeling,
Of pure aliveness that comes with it.

Your'e drowning.
But the thing is,
You don't want to swim anymore.
What's the point of swimming,
When you can't breathe?
When there is no land in sight,
When you have forgotten how to float?

You are drowning...

I'm not a pawn in your chess game,
I'm not the person who takes the blame,
I'm not a person who can use for fame,
You act like i'm an embarrassment of shame.

But I realise my worth now,
The leader of the pack: a crowd,
The turning revolution of endow,
The piece in your game who steals the king's crown.

I'm not a piece in your chess game,
Instead, I'm you addiction which you will try to reclaim,
Whilst I light my furious flames.

We would chat for hours every day,
Till the point where I needed you to stay.
Why is it so easy to fall in love,
And so difficult to fall out of it?

Why did you leave,
What did I do?
I tried so hard to keep you,
I needed you to stay.
But you left anyways,
So how can I move on from my oxygen,
How can I live without my food and water?

How do I survive knowing you're going to leave?

As a child I was told
"Boys hit you cause they like you thats all".
But as I grew old,
And bruises started appearing on my thighs,
Purple,blue and bold,
I was told,
"Tell anyone i did this and you'll be dead by dawn".

You know I think I feel better when nobody remembers I exist,
because the butterflies in my stomach have sliced through my heart,
and are now stuck  in my throat.
I think for once i'm okay with being alone.

You know nobody cares when you cry,
They're only there when you smile.
Sometimes I want to reverse it all back to when I was a child,
I had the tend to scarred knees instead of scarred wrists.
Will you remember me when i'm gone?

They say one foot in front of the other,
But it's hard when your own shoelaces are out to get you.
They say one day at a time,
But it's hard when even the sun glares at you with angry eyes.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
then realised he didn't have anything to live for at all,
so he had his great fall.
My own fantasies,
my own cartoons in my mind can't even be an escape.

If you have a second to listen,
maybe you can hear what I preach,
maybe you can listen to me spread my religion of pain.
Because it's
All
I
Have
Left.

Pills are a funny concept,
“Eat these and you’ll be socially inept!”
Yet as a dive into the night sky,
My imagination began to intensify.
They were my hope,  my resolution,
Inside my empty pit of corruption.

So 1, 2, 3, they were gone
A tear rolled down my cheek as I realised what I embarked on.
I began to shiver and shake the pain away,
My mother walked in as I lay, grey
“Wake up, Wake up” she whispers,
Her words were like feverish blisters,
And as she looked down me,
Head to waist,

She screeched “please don’t take my baby away”

I never liked red,
But I liked him,
and he liked red.

So I fell in love with the colour.
I fell in love with him.
But he fell in love,
with someone else.

So now I lay in a pool of red.
Now he loves me.

You told me you needed space,
So I wanted to give you the entire galaxy,
With all its shining moon and stars.

You needed to cry a river,
But I wished I could supply you with the ocean.

You were broken glass but,
I was ready to ruin my hands,
Trying to put you back together.
You're everything to me,
All the bruises and the cracks.

I know you can't see that,
And your heart hurts.
I know you think i'm ready to,
throw you into the dirt.

But I want to take you soaring,
Above the clouds.
I want to take your tears and,
Paint a masterpiece,
That's as beautiful as you are.

I want to kiss your bruises  and scars,
and tell you you're perfect,
As far as my eyes can see,
Because you light up the stars.

You said you needed space,
So I want to give you,
Every single planet in the universe.

Maybe the meaning of life,
is to give life meaning,
Meaning that the "meaning" ,
we're searching for is Life.
And so "searching" for life's meaning ,
is meaningless,
Meaning this life,
is all the meaning we'll ever need,
To live a meaningful life.

There will come a day,
when they will no longer be,
your first thought in the morning,
or keep you up at night.

But while they are,
you mustn't be so ******* yourself,
or rush to heal the wounds.
Our hearts live on with scars,
which run deep scars,
on our human meat.

But you don't have to force them to close,
if you are not ready.