Staring at my reflection reminds me of a horror movie when a scary scene is about to happen and you just want to look away .
Disgusted by my acne face and small eyes ,a big nose.
My mind is telling me lies.
I yet have accomplished to see the beauty in my hidden features of imperfections.
I'm a dumpster waiting to be cleaned.
In hope I'll feel better about the trash put inside me.
Disfigured ,longing for some peace.
I don't want to be in this skin that was stitched neatly to make me complete .
I want to pull out my strings and form a different shape.
All I am is a circle empty to the reach
Please let me be a sphere
Let me grow into a 3D figure my feelings need to grow bigger .
These lies need to hinder .

It's my birthday and all I can do is think of what to wish for when the candles go out and I've completed at acknowledging that I'm 16.

My first wish came to mind was to heal physically quickly .
My second wish is to love myself completely
My third wish is a charm which I thought of you and how I wish we could talk like we used too.

I want to scream out that love isn't real ,but no matter the arguments
I kept you in mind . This love we had why did I lose sight .
I was tired of all of those fights .
I miss you come back let's make it right.

I'm moving on , but my mind does wander.
A black round ring given to you from me.
who knew that color would represent our destiny.

Black as the pavement we walked.
Black as the rotten apple on the corner store
Black as burning wood.
Black is what our relationship seemed to be.

I'm moving on , but my mind does wander.
A gift given to you from me.
Would it be different if I had chosen a specific color.

This isn't  a  poem , but i was wondering if you guys can check out my short story . It's the first one iv'e ever made,and i just want some feedback and even criticism  thats the link below

https://www.wattpad.com/story/184567277-dreaming-with-the-devil

I’m in a good mood. My depressions been supressed with an iron fist not made out of maiden ,but its steal is killing off the stress i seem to dress when im in the state of no sleeping . By the morning here comes my sadness waking me up with a cup of boredom and regrets . “wake up *****” a slap across the face with ****** teeth and a pale ghost skin. hair up to the roof poking out to stick me again. her hair is the fences its in defense from all the neurons tryna attack against . I smile in humor but outside my canvas its a diffrent picture. stare at my refllection to see a girl petrefied of whats hidden deep inside her eyes. The bad always comes as a suprise . a kodak moment forever in black and white. the colors been stolen by the thieves in the night.Drag myself out of bed once again. My hands scrape the floor a rug burn seems to appear oh how she adores the pain outside the comfortness of my own doors. “Dont abuse me you started today but i swear this time im still not losing” . laugh was so big created an earthquake felt my brain shake at the noise she could make. “medical doctors saved you but no surgery can be done to your mental state . Dont come at me with a force i’ll break your bones this time and make it seem like it was fate” My fractures shivered in shame as she took the blame. Fear rose up to my ears they started bleeding as if they were tears. Oozing out blood as she drank cup after cup. Bruised lungs, but i still talk.Bruised heart yet i still love.weak bones yet i still walk. Dragged me towards hell, but im not giving up now. Got the key you had hidden on top of the shelf with all the other souls you take to feed off when your own sadness starts to fade. My body is draining out toxins as i get fed perioxide by the angel on my side. I’m not religious but a guardian always has a seat saved for me on every ride.  I can’t die now when lifes just started. Theres a purpose to every knowledge. I’m still taking courses simultaneously at my own pace in my own college . You dont follow rules and run red lights ,thats why you crash at night ,but i swear to you as long as the sun rises ima win this fight

I'm a mess every time I text you.
Our conversations are so relaxing.
Afterwards my heart is left on wires.
I sense the difference between you and me. Oh how I miss when u spoke lightly "I love you" you said,
First time I ever heard those words face to face.
Oh how I wish I could go back to those days.
We fell in love at the park.
Nature filled our heads with pureness.
Every time we speak I get a sense of peace.
I miss you.

Thank you for showing me what it's like to feel alive without a substance in sight.
Sorry for being so complicated when I thought "I love you" was a lie.

I hate the fact your not good with your words
Actions you show but lately they've been frozen like snow.

Thank you for allowing us to break each other's heart because now my writing has come out of the dark.
Sorry for playing a part in our relationship operation fall apart .

Honestly i don’t know what I’m doing. This is the same route I’m on and off of . I’m on red but I pass go. One minute im okay the next I’m about to explode. Theres land mines in my brain multiple people walk all over and when it gets packed . Theres always that one to set me back. My logic shuts down and panic run around. I run and hide so the panic can subside . Scared of judgment so I don’t show my face . I just walk away. Im impatient as well and I seem to always pace when things get late. I’m so hurt and insane. Theres bubbles in my veins. Pop it goes to my shame. My thoughts are running in place. A marching band that hasn’t had practice since 2002 the day I was born it set off an alarm and turned into a storm. I dance along the rain and dirt and splatter my blood all over my shirt. . As I sit here in places I’m not supposed to be waiting on a guy to pick me up and show me good times so I can avoid my education . Is this what paradise is like. Running away from responsibilities a vacation set to be free. Is this really me? Is this who I’ve become to be. How sad is that in every way. I’m sorry momma for all the pain. I’m sorry dad for the games. I’m sorry to myself for all of these doubts. I’m sorry for these bombs and chains.

Crying acid in the corner of the wall where my empty thoughts seem to lay . Depression is a season . Comes at night . Sometimes in the morning, if they jumped in my dream to sacrifice my happiness.