‪Do what others need.‬
‪Bury yourself in work.‬
‪Brush until you bleed.‬
‪Drink until you're numb.‬
‪Cry until you're shattered.‬
‪Then sleep may come.‬

And you tried to be what they wanted right ?
You tried to be someone they could love and cherish
You shut your mouth and you opened your legs
You cut your hair instead of the insides of your arms
You polished your nails as you polished your amour
You cut away little pieces of yourself like frayed fabric at the end of  a shirt
You silenced your need for the love you showed to be reciprocated
You super glued your smile in place and you hung up your sadness next to your dreams of the future
You tried to become more of what they wanted and less of who you actually were
You built up a facade, like a trusty tree fort
You placed your heart on your nightstand and prepared yourself to recieve whatever it was he was willing to give
The bare minimum, wasted excuses and drawn out apologies.
As though you were nothing but another piece in his puzzle
You wanted to be that last piece that got lost behind the couch
Stuck into the carpet but found just when you were needed the most
You wanted something to click when he held you, you wanted to be the piece that completed his puzzle
But you were left out in the damp and the moisture curled your edges and made you soft
Not strong enough to be put in the place you were made for
So he threw you away and he trashed his puzzle for it'll never be finished.
You will never be enough for someone who isn't looking for what you have.
Say it again in case you didn't hear it
You will never be enough for someone who isn't looking for what you have
But your worth isn't dependent on his opinion
You are enough. You are whole and wild and you are enough
Your worth isn't dependent on anyone but you
Your worth is defined by how much you value yourself. How much does your piece of mind cost?
How much do you value your heart and the beats it takes after a blow that causes it to skip?
Redefine what it means to love yourself instead of wasting moments reliving the past
Put yourself first and enjoy doing it. Find a moment of pure bliss in each day you are granted
Move on but don't forget.
You are enough.

I'd like to take my brain out
For a few quiet days of peace
Diazepam and wine bring only temporary release

I'd like my brain to have a rest
Somewhere it can be free
Away from all the troubles and woes
Away from babysitting me

I think I'd send it on a
fishing boat
far far out to sea
To give it a chance to see the stars
and giggle to itself with glee

Sometimes we don't see
           that which is brightest
before us.

         Only trying to stop,
                    when were already
static.

time heals they say

but likeee..


my clock just broke and
it just so happensss it’s gonna take
a while to fix it.

Then I’ll be able to keep on going as if
nothing happened.

Cut off my arms and legs
**** out my brain
seems all I'm ever wanted for
Lies in my middle frame

There is one at each end
Both open to be filled
That's all they ever wanted
The rest of me they killed