If I had more tears left to cry
They'd roll down without care
Hurricanes from my eyes
Glorious storms of despair.

They'd speak volumes without a word
I wouldn't have to explain
They'd flow till my vision is blurred
So I needn't see through the pain.

I found something in a quiet beach
A new life I could take with me
With no owner, with no known name
It was mine, and it was to be.

I discarded the one I wore
I inhabited the new shell
With no memories of my old dress
It was peaceful, and all was well.

The sky was blue, with twinkling stars
The ground felt wonderful again
I took all my dreams and made them true
I sang my songs without much pain.

I met more people than before
I discovered things I never knew
I started again, I then soared
In a dreamland without a clue.

Then I stalled and crashed to the cold dead earth
With tattered remains of torn cloth
A reminder, that it was all unreal
That no one here gets another shot.

I sewed it together, what I could
And roamed around, a vagabond
Treading lines between 'want' and 'should'
With sore scars of a lass well conned.

I have a cocoon
I hide inside it
My shell stands tall and proud
The soft parts unlit.

Day by day I rebuild my home
Each night I repeat
'One day, it'll be done
One day, it'll be complete'.

Something goes wrong every hour
And I fix it every time
Trying to hide the crap within
Making sure I appear sublime.

Yet some person always sees
The escaping crying soul
They eye me curiously, and say
'When'll you be done? Your home has a hole!'

'Who's the girl who runs there?
Bring her home, we must find out!'
I stand powerless without a word
Stunned still when I want to shout.

'How do they notice the leaks
The cracks in my facade?
Have I not perfected the art?
Do they only know that I'm scarred?'

I cannot run away
The ghosts of the past lurk
A place I cannot exorcise
One of these days, will I go berserk?

If you're looking up at the sky tonight
Know, that you can surely win your fight.
If you're staring at the vast night above
Know, that you can make it, that you are loved.
If you're walking in the dark, guided by stars
Know, your destination is never too far.
If you only see lies, searching for what is true,
Know that I'm just as clueless, looking up, with you.

It's been two years since I fell down
Into a storm within my ground.
It's been two years since I tasted Hell
Staying mute while I wanted to yell.
It's been two years since I revealed it all
Cowering low when I couldn't stand tall.
It's been two years since I was strong
With everything I knew being wrong.

Now that I stand on my own two feet
Will construction ever be complete?
Now that I'm starting to smile once more
Will they ever heal, the wounds that were sore?
Now that I'm learning to walk again
Henceforth, will I be spared more pain?
Now that I know there's much to see
Will I fulfill my own Destiny?

I'm sure there are many poems on this
Echoing a plea or desperate wish
That the world was different, just not this way
That one could be certain of life the next day
Free in the streets, to walk without fear
Not wondering if the police is near
Who can only sight the shade of one's skin
By which they'd know if one committed sins
Pardoning those of a fair demeanour
Believing the white means their souls are cleaner.
Finding a reason to redden one's hands
They'd paint it if they could, concocting plans.
Perhaps some minds cannot think beyond
The hat of privilege their clan has donned.
Perhaps some ears cannot listen to more
To voices screaming amidst death and gore.
Perhaps some eyes cannot pretend to see
Around the firm blocks of a bleak history.

I am a crustacean
With a shell on my back
When things outside get rough
I stay in my safe sack.

But, when the weather's calm
I don't know what to do
It's so comfortable here
Must I really move?

My friends call out to me
They say 'Leave that behind!'
How can I? It's my home!
The anchor of my mind!

Silence is beautiful
Does no one understand?
While words are company,
The quiet's a helping hand.

But the tides are turning...
My shell will fade away..
But only if I leave..
I'll stay just one more day.

Yet I can't live here forever.
That, I'm certain, is true.
Get out of my comfort zone?
Some day, I hope, I do.