Is it cradles of silence?
Absolution?
Fire and thirst?
To drown in despair.
You seek?
Drop to your knees and suffer the Lord.

Cut my ribs
And stab my eyes.

The beast cuddled the angry pixie,
And it writhed. So he crushed the pixie.
The beast tentatively held the pixie,
And it bit him. So he squished the pixie.
The beast stayed close to the pixie,
And it burned him. So the beast hated the pixie.
The beast spoke with the pixie,
And it sassed him. So the beast hissed at the pixie.
The beast listened to the pixie,
And it soothed him. So the beast cuddled the angry pixie.

Spit out your pride,
Force out your tears
Your feelings feed only me.
Hang out your friends
Lay down your family
You know you belong to me.
I'll hang myself dry
In a storm of vitriolic judgement.
Come now with me
Down to the basement
The dust bowl
The beggars urn
The end.

I see a boy underneath the bin
He prays desperately to a deaf god
Looming over I can smell his despair
Rocking back and forth in holy existence
Your prayer won’t save you now little duckling
Say I to the rat
But on he chants, on and on to gods and clouds and demons
He names them all, one by one endlessly chanting his desperate canon
Where are your gods now?
Do they serve you a merciful end?
I ask as I slash his throat.

Give the colourful creature colourful crayons.
Lines finding letters finding words finding objects finding order.
The creature colours numbers unknown.
But did anyone ask the colourful creature if it wanted to colour?
The creature colours numbers unneeded and unwanted.
The creature colours an elephant chandelier.
Colours unseen, lines never drawn, an image so unfamiliar.
And the creature is sad.

I saw a different man now you're here
I held different cold hands now they're here
I saw a different man now he's here
I held a different man now he's here
I want that different man now he's not here.

Waking in these dreams,
It's always me and you.
In this world, our endless ecstasy.
The dragon seems ever so far away

Cereal again for breakfast.
Vanilla. Love the smell.
Day tested me again.
Love toast.
Butter.
It's not right.
Hold on.
Toast grip.
Butter hand.
Butter knife.
*******. ****.
****!

****.

Her lips
His sauce
His eyes
Her lips
No sauce
For her
His sauce
For him.
Her hand
Smacked away.
No sauce
For her.

He thrashed violently at the crowd.
He didn't know what they were saying
Only that they were yelling
And he hated being yelled at.
He liked his mud
He liked his stink
And he did not like an audience.

He lay there in his pit
He looked at his thigh.
His unimportant plain skinned thigh.
And let the calm still day wash over him.

Surrendered his mind
Abandoned his thoughts.

As the gentle din caressed his ears.

Hungry are the hands that claw out the brain,
In a fit of absent envy for the thrill of yesterday,
Slickened in blood and wine as it congeals around the mouth,
It pours into the toilet, a buffet consumed, destroyed.

The Lady Grace smiles down at me.
It's loving smile like no other
Brighter than stars and sun's
Beaming rays upon a child's face
As I smile back.
The smile of the lady grace lights my world.
Lady Grace lights her cigarette.

The Lady Grace smiles at me.
It's a loving smile like no other
Brighter than stars and sun's
Beaming upon her proud grandsons face
As I beam back.
I'm making strides in the world.
And she strides with me.
At her own pace.
The beam of the lady grace lights my world.
Lady Grace lights her cigarette.

The Lady Grace opened her eyes
She dragged herself off her side and propped herself up with her arm
She gasped for air.
She trained her eyes on me
Desperate and loving
Wishing to speak.
I look back.
Glazed to her pain.
She searches through.
I'm here for her.
Lady Grace lights her cigarette.

My eyes squint on the doorframe.
I drag myself to consciousness from dreams.
'your grandma is dead'.

Lady Grace left me today.
Her love and guidance vanished in the wind.
I light a cigarette.
And cry.

Crying into the bath
It soaks its sponge.
The pink lather writhes in its fingers.

Bleeding from the wrists
It dabs tentatively.
The sponge adds red to pink

It soaks the sponge again,
In the vat of redder bubbles.
The copper scent claws up its nose.

Its arms loose grip
Of the cleansing sponge
Its mind fades red to black.

The cries in your head are loud and clear,
there's life on the other side
we'll cross the shore together.
The waves are choppy and unforgiving,
the oceans awake, Poseidon's hateful fist is stirring.
feels like I'm drowning.
I cant breathe
salt and water
dying
washed up
onshore the sand is white.
vanilla beach.
I hate it here.

I'm ready for more than this.
The stain on the walls. We breathe
On crystal halls.
We're ready for this.
We're ready for.
Now. To me.
You fall.
To me.
It's now.
We fall.

His rotten sleeves waft in the wind
Sleepily staining the air
He swirls in his stench
Flouncing in stink
Hatefully spinning his song.

Wildly turning
His zombie breakdown
Bellowing a gutteral noise

He spins till he bleeds
Staining the earth.
The onlookers gawp at the show.

The circle slows down
His pulverised ankles
Can no longer keep up the dance.

He slumps in a puddle
A grave of his making
A corpse
A posterity curse.

I know you never asked for this,
Such a child.
Pathetic and alone.
But it came,
The help you dreamed of
The sorcery you imagined.
She comes,
The witch in the wine
The witch in the shadows.
She comes.
You need not ask no more.

Running through these brisk fields, swimming with reeds of happiness.
Not a care in the world for the fields that lie beyond.

Is there a reason you refer to me in the past tence?
Have you ever licked marble doctor?
Salty and certain.
I'm going to ****** my husband. You know I am. Tomorrow.

Complain at the sky
Cry on the floor
Suffer through everything in between.

Your world is dead, dumb, and blind to you.

Does the drop. At the bottom of the well. Feel as freeing. As it looks. For those that. Peer. Longingly. Into its depths.

The day said no
My toast said absolutely not.
Everything I tried to be said absolutely ******* not.
I woke to an angry wall
And the angels did a Mexican wave.
And I just stared
Helpless.
And in my moment of deliverance,
I was handed stiff kittens.

Did you enjoy the trip to Derbyshire Brenda?
You know, the one where you met that stupid ******* cowboy impersonator
Named Carl.
Yes Carl.
Yes THAT Carl.
The one that gave you VD.
Yeah so I was just asking because, guess where I am and guess who I'm stood next to!

Take the fire down.
Ember stealing crown.
Cold and wet and...
Free. Wash it over me.
See the frostbite grow.
Doesn't matter now.
King is watching me.
Why's the rope on that tree?

I'm slipping, the edge grows near.
Warmth of insanity beckons.
I try to stay away,
but my eyes stare down the hole.

I'm draining, my arms are tired
My mind longs only for peace.
I want to stay away,
but I can hear it's sweet song.

I'm grasping, my fingers slip
The hole is deep, dark and cold
I'm spinning down in fear
Familiarly disorientated.

Maybe this hole is home
The darkness I've known all my life.
It's quiet and I'm alone
The world is so toxic and bright.


Take me far, far away.

Fbi agent poke made his play.
My ******* has never been the same.
Chess for Christians.
Noahs **** .
Running because it's a Sunday
Afternoon tea. Served with *******.

Field Ball
Hedge Row
Corner stone Pop game.
Junk mine
Get mine
Huff mine
All Mine
My game
My Will
My job
My Life my party my death my mud.

Cry hands unbled.
Hate thy neighbour.
Neck unsnapped.
Wood construct nightmare.

He drinks in his bitterness
His communion wine
He guzzles it down
Washing over him
A river of hate.
Anew he rises.
Proud and afraid.
Unloved and despised.
Just the way he likes it.

Once more into the deep red sea,
Warm and fresh,
Terrifying and deep.

Splatter about
A dog; first time, thrown in.

The blue fights to be free
It grips at the lungs.
Strangling to see...

Drop down the anchor,
A harbour draws near.
A light in the fog
Let it float in.

Into the vapid singularity,
He's ****** forth, whole.
The wasp fly's by, unfettered.

She toils amongst the gravel.
Blood eageled by her hollow gains.
Timid, as time slips softly across her lips.

Time slips around open wrists,
that yearn for redemption.
Tracing crosses in the sky.

Hallowed, and hollowed. She contains her sick spells.

Veridian green billboards with a vetitver scent.

But red with wine and regret.

Have you eaten?
I heard you bleeding.
Dripping, that metallic drop.
Come now, feed.
Wrist is on the menu.
Scrumptious sin.
Seems hell is nearer and more real.

Hello?
Are you there? I've been thinking about things.
About what you said.
Did you mean it?
What you said?
It was nasty.
Horrid.
I'll speak to you tomorrow.

Life is a fickle game we play,
The end is a certain.
The journey is too long or too short.
The end is always ready.

To be loved
To be wanted and held,
Never forgotten.

To know this.
To bathe in vitriol.
To know it is all you.

To want to be clean.
To want to care.
To want to want.

Sleep close by me tonight.
Shush your tears.
And hold me.
Startling gaze,
Clawing,
Choke hold.
Silence.
No choice.
Hold me.
Sleep close to me tonight.

My eyes are jaded
in this House of snow.
Staring into white
soft and cold
Dying, desperate for one last gasp of warmth.
crawl up against the flame
it licks and poisons
cuddle tighter , it licks closer.
Embers bright and skin terrified
scarred, blessed and burned.
Treat the wounds and warm some more.

Lay down softly in my hands.
Little creature cold and sad.
Keep your head up, big wide smile.
Dry those eyes my little lamb.

The world outside is harsh and loud.
Stay here with me safe and sound.
We are strong. Just you and me.
Our secret place.
Our eternity.

He sees himself through bloodshot eyes
Painting a picture with his lies.
He knows the party has an end
But not now, let the session never end

Predatory lizard eyes.
Sun goes down,
Owl sees all.

Cigarette lit,
Dancing embers in the rain.
Breathe in.

Head to the sky.
Exhale.

A pause.
A thought.
A moment for yourself.

Bliss.

Let the downpour wash away the tears.

Desperation rubber. Smash. Sunrise.

Newspaper Sunday,
Another day gone.
Clawing the clockface, for just one more rave.
Hiding from sunrise, I've seen it before.
Cold and empty. Weekend comes round.
Craving beige in an candle of colours,
Holding out for an impromptu paint spill.
Beige has never seemed so intense.
When the world is beige, so bright I'm blind.
I'll shut my eyes and hide in the dark,
My different beige will light up the spark.

Dripping weekend wrist marks
Dance in the happy rain
Booming base and bleeding
Let it rush down your face
Feel it trickle down your tights
It’ll all be over now.

Chicken in the oven.
Playing chicken with the oven.
Gaslighting the oven.

Not really. Dinners in the oven
Cooking in the oven.
Tasty in the oven.

Haha what ******* absolute gibberish.
The screen is glazed with honey.
Words. What are words when the honey is so sweet. Sweet enough to drown out insignificance.
The screen of honey is strong and is a sieve for *****.

The sudden realisation that you're toxicaly self aware is poisoness and astounding and who the **** even cares. You're a hippo you're a butterfly, a god. And you're deeply, unrepentantly alone. In your hole. Down your well. Floating in a stream up that doesn't exist.

Forgive us ourselves
From our childhood home
Next week could come yesterday
View of a pathetic pathway.