This sadness ebbs to my bones,
it shakes my soul like an earthquake shaking the earth’s crust.
The monsters will always be with me but is following them really what’s good for me?
They bashed, broke and bruised me.
If I continue this way then soon they will be the  end of me.
This is not the life I devise to be good for my mind.

I’m a difficult person to deal with and I’m sorry for that.
All I do is push people away;
it’s the only way that I know how to act.  

How did I become like this?
It’s a mystery for me too.
I have nothing good to reminisce
and I’m constantly feeling blue.

I’m sorry I’m no fun to be around
as the Malak you once knew has drowned.
She was unable to swim as she was never taught.
She got caught up in a whirlpool of thoughts,
that sunk her deep in and left her to rot.

Now she is no longer around but that’s okay
as she knew that there’s no way she can
stay.

A girl knows for certain that she’ll die.
Not by the hands of others
but by taking the great flight.

Sadness isn’t a sickness but I think I’m coming down.
Doctor, doctor I no longer want to be around.
All that I seem to do is constantly breakdown.
Doctor, doctor I think it’s time for me to go.
Cancel my next appointment, I won’t be here tomorrow.
Doctor, doctor you say that sadness is in fact a sickness,
yet you aren’t advising me on how to fix this.

I feel the need to apologise for the way that I am.
I have no control, as if I was a computer programme.
I’m sorry that the slightest thing can shift my mood,
I’m sorry I can be impulsive and have a bad attitude.

This inappropriate anger is not intentional
and I swear to god
I know it’s unacceptable.

My friendships are a rollercoaster,
it’s practically bipolar.
One second I’m all lovey dovey
and the other second it will be as if you were never my buddy.

This is who I am and I hate it.
I’m sorry I’m like this,
I’m sorry I see no bliss.