Drowning. Drowning in a world so cruel.
Your lungs are filled with all your doubts,
Your doubts that you're not perfect.
You open your mouth but naught comes out.

You struggle and kick and gasp for air
Until you feel like giving up-
And then you see him.
His caring eyes and loving words

Cause the panic to subside.
And all that's left is you and him.
You drown again yet it is pleasant,
You're drowning in his love.

wouldnt it be good if everything was glad
always very happy and never ever sad
wouldnt it be good if every single day  
we could be so happy always bright and gay.

never have to worry about the things ahead
have a lot gladness in your life instead
never any tears running down your face
just a lot of happiness  in this happy place.

wouldnt it be good if all of this came true
happiness for everyone just like me and you.

Every day is a constant struggle
Between reaching out and holding in.
The desire to touch, to feel your skin
For you, I commit sin.
But in the end I know I cannot
You've moved on, and I, you've long forgot.
Then why, I ask myself do I sit here,
And allow you, in my head, to appear?
The loves long gone and the feelings have ran out
But at the sight of you my heart still scurries about.
It's because you and I, my dear,
Had grown so near,
And by leaving, you've ******* me in the rear.

There's a lot you will never know about me
And there's a lot I will never tell you

You will never know what I am like at 4am restless, tossing and turning
My body tired, but my mind running in circles until it finally comes to a halt and I crash
I can easily fall
Over
Apart
And in love
But I still can't fall asleep

You will never know about my past lovers and the hearts I've built into home
You will never know how I've molded every moment into memory
I etch the details into staying longer than they should
I remember too much too well

You will never know the roughness of hands that have touched me and how their glass fingers left me scarred
I am skilled at pretending I haven't been stolen enough times to feel detached
I can make-believe love to you like I don't know pain
Like I know exactly who I'm with
But I keep the lights on for a reason

You will never know about how I feel
You will ask me every time and I will say okay
You will ask me if I'm okay and I will say yes because I don't know how to say otherwise
I don't want you to know that I'm not sometimes
Being strong is the only choice I have

You will never know my weaknesses
You will never know me vulnerable
You will call me tough like a compliment
Like being a force built of bricks takes any bit of courage
You will watch me chug whisky like water
You will tell me that it's impressive without understanding the power in being able to choose my own bitterness
And how much better it tastes on my own terms
You will watch me love nicotine, not knowing that I am capable of loving you so much more than substance

You know my middle name
You know how I look with your hands in my hair
You know my teeth biting lip
You know what I smell like
You have seen me without clothing
But there is a lot you will never know about me
And there is a lot I will never tell you
Because you'll never ask.

Because.

Kissed by God she is love itself, untaintend by ways of man.
In the world of the dying, she spreads her love, replenishing broken hearts.

In her alluring eyes, you can gaze at the universe as it unfolds.
With a ballet of stars along the milky-way.
Singing life's song as the mystry fades
Joined by those who sleep in hope
Revived as they come to know.
life is love

sitting in my bath i heard a great big glug
followed by a bubble followed by the plug.

i must have pulled it out  but i didnt know
the water in my bath it began to go.

it was getting lower way below my knees
i was getting colder and i began to freeze.

i put a towel round me to try and get some heat
there i saw the plug lying at my feet.

then i picked it up of the bathroom floor
put it  in the bath a filled it up once more.

Caution you speak, I'm so sure of myself.

Low line cinema in my house.
Raiding my brain and running late for a train that doesn't even exist.
You can touch so much yet feel so little.  
It's things like this, unspoken words.
The ground beneath my feet shrinks every time we meet.
Sooner or later Imma lose it all and finally fall.
Right left up into your arm chair,
Sitting cozy with my tea.
Sort through memories and open safes with my code only in my head can you think the way I think.

In misty visions the wizard casts his spells.

In daily shadows you stay until the night time hides your evil eye.

I am beautiful.
I am gorgeous and flawless in my presence here.
Right now, I've made it to right here.
Every inch of my heartstrings,
Every ounce of my lifeblood
Is meant to be right here, right now
People say Carpe Diem but I don't need to
Seize an entire day,
Just this moment.
This one.
And this one.
And this one right here.
A perfectly polished present from eternity,
Crafted by the hands of God Himself just for me to
Experience and savor and
Breathe in - the scent of life
Smoke and green grass, honey, lilacs,
Homemade lasagna, his cologne, her shampoo.
I've made it to right here, right now
And every word from my lips is an amen to finish off
The prayer of another sunrise, another day
And every heartbeat is a hallelujah to praise another breath,
Another moment in this body
My skin is a tapestry of remembering,
Rose-pink lines bearing witness, well-worn kaleidoscope
Memories of knowing dark nights and grey, lifeless dawns
And the strong, burning scent of *** in my throat
But it's okay now
Because I will protect me
I have dragged myself from the depths
And it was scary.
And it is hard.
And it will be okay.
I am right here, right now
And this is my moment.
My moment to breathe, to feel,
To live.
To let my razors rust and
Know that the pills have forgotten how to poison me
And I will dance like when I was a child,
Before I knew what shame was
And I will laugh like when I was a baby,
Smaller than my mother's hands
And I will love like I have never known the
Sharp, sad pain of depression inside my skull
Because I am beautiful.
I am somebody's favorite voice and I am somebody's
Helping hand and I am somebody's
Shoulder to cry on and I am
Student, teacher, daughter, friend, helper, lover, woman, person,
Human.
And this is the portrait of a young lady
Who is not afraid to love herself with passion
And rebuild her foundation on rock bottom
Because I made it.
Because I am beautiful.
Because this moment is my amen to living.
Because I am right here, right now.
And so are you.