It ruptures your soul
spills out your insides,
it leaves your skin thirsting for more
you can see the stars a little brighter through the tears,
and you swear, you can feel the world in your throat with each exhale
but my god, what is life without it.

ive smashed
every
single
******* mirror
in this house
because
*im so tired of seeing you
when i look at me

Rip open my skin
Grasp my heart in your rough hands
Steal breath from my lungs

The spaces between us are filled by smoke
and pools of blood
you inhale poison
while I bleed out my exhales
our broken pieces,
fitting together like shards of glass
tragic back stories,
nights spent on the phone
you say you love me
but i know the lighters come first
I tell you we are perfect together
but my razors kiss my skin
instead of your lips
I know you love her
even though she sees the bottom of the pipe
while I see your eyes
baby you are better then the tar at the end of a blunt
**** it,
if it takes a gallon of superglue,
and a million packs of cigarettes
I swear to you, we will be okay.

I sit here bleeding,
letting every broken promise,
flow from my wrists
my body is empty
you took what you wanted
releasing your ecstasy
inducing my misery
your fingers touch every inch of my skin
invading my soul
I pull my hair
peeling my skin
destroying every part of who i am
because
maybe if i **** myself
you will die too

I remember the first night we put you on suicide watch.
I remember how you stayed in my room all night long and laid on my bed while I tried to make you believe that I needed you more than anyone else in my life.
That sentence still stands.
I love you.
You're still my best friend.
And being gone during such a huge, hard part of your life is breaking me down.
And I want nothing more than to tell you all this and stay up late talking to you about infinities and the impossible.
And I want to be 5 again.
Back to when you and I were both happy.
And neither of us looked for bottles of pills or busy traffic streets.