We stopped asking questions
Because we were too afraid to
Know the answers.

Your mother
Twinkles in the pupils of your eyes
your father resonates
in the rivers that they cry.

One seed of doubt gets planted in my mind and suddenly I'm lost in a jungle.

How do you manage to transform
A tsunami like me
Into tranquil waters.

I find myself in coffee shops
drinking down espresso shots,
in a haste,
in an attempt,
to rid the bitter sweet taste,
you left in my mouth,
and on the corners of my lips.

You show me how to make peace with the person I have spent so many years at war with, myself.

She melts in between my lips
With the urgency and beauty
Of snowflakes on fingertips.

My anxieties have a way of strangling me
And snatching life from under me
Better than any noose
Ever could

Every morning I wake with you
I swear I can see
Last nights stars dancing through your hair
And the sun rising in the pupils of your eyes.

And being in your arms
felt like coming home
and there was no scent more reassuring
Than the sweet smell of your cologne
as it enveloped me
in sanctity, security,
as the purity of your love
set sail so gently
upon my frail, abandoned, shipwrecked
body.

My free spirit got swept away by the wind
i haven't been the same since.

When waves of sadness washed over me
And began to pull me under
You taught me how to swim.

She shows me oceans
Where the desert lays

Your insecurities,
all those flaws you believe to be impurities,
are beautiful,
to me.

Insecurities have a way of
Eating you up
From the inside out.

Without even trying
She commands my attention
Her body and mind
The worlds most beautiful inventions
And I have every intention
Of showing her
Just what a masterpiece
Every inch of her
Is.

You were like the purest of rainbows shooting through my veins.
You were better than any pills, ****** or *******.
No drug around, made me feel the same,
helped me forget,
the way you called my name.

And i would have done anything for just one more fix,
a touch, a hit, the taste of those lips.
But reality it slips and skips,
and misses,
and slowly but surely,
I recovered without those kisses.

I can give you everything I have, but it will never be enough; because right now you're not enough for yourself.

Love:
Giving someone your heart and trusting them not to tear it right out of your chest.

Me?
I reached for a star
and came back with the moon.

They say home is where the heart is
Well then I haven't been home in years.
Because I have no idea
Where my heart lays

You tell me your afraid of the dark
well darling, ill stand in the shadows of your heart
and blaze a path,
so bright,
you won't have to be frightened anymore.

If breaking hearts is a crime
Death row awaits you.

Write me a meal plan in bright red pain
And tell me this is the answer to all my problems again
Force down a tube through my nose and into my stomach
And watch as I flummox out of control
Fill this gaping hole inside of me
With drugs and sedation
Numb out pain and realisation
Force feed me promises and a smile
Only to regress back in a while.
Fill these cracks
With temporary fixtures
Concoctions of pills and other mixtures.
Treat me with CBT and psychotherapy
Tell me one day ill be free
And maybe if you say it enough times
Ill start to believe it
As much as you say you do.

You pulled the foundations I'd spent years forming
Right from under me

My mind is a hurricane,
my tongue a tsunami,
A natural disaster
But that's okay
because you told me
nature was beautiful
and I've never wanted to believe anything more.

You cascade over me like a waterfall

The curtains close and I throw a rose into the stage, as the pages of our story meet, in harmony.
We say our goodbyes.

Each time we kiss
I taste happiness
On my lips

In loving me, you taught me to love myself.

*In forgiving me, you taught me to forgive myself.

No matter how lost I am
You always guide me home.

Darling she's the most beautiful piece of literature
you'd ever have had the pleasure of discovering
reading, indulging in, bringing to life
it's your fault, regret, mistake
that you tossed her to the side
because something less than average
caught your eye

What happens when she doesn't want rescuing
When this mission you're persuing
is all in vain.

This applies to every single one of you. No matter how little you may believe you are worth, I swear to you, you are worth more, way more than you could ever imagine, in your wildest dreams. You are worth the same as those you value most, that girl with the body you aspire yours to be like, those people that you envy for being so naturally beautiful, your closest friends, your family. You are worth every piece of happiness, hope and health. I promise. You are not a diagnosis or a statistic, defined by criteria, percentiles and numerical figures, no. You are so much more. You are more than the inches around your waist, the abs on your stomach, the lbs that creep up and down on the scales, the self defeating thoughts, the highlighting of your insecurities, the constant regrets.
You are the air you breathe, the laughter that slips between your lips, the fight that you said you had ran out of months ago. The love you share and feel, the smiles that sweep across your face, those moments where happiness feels so close that you can almost taste it. You are daylight, the sun, nightlife, clubs and music and drunken confessions. You are a shining star, the scent of your favourite perfume, your most treasured memories crammed into ink and squashed between frames.

Never doubt that you are more.

2013 ©

When every bone in your body aches to be relieved through death, When it hurts to breathe, when the thoughts and ideations of self harm cut you deeper than any blade could and the thought of suicide is one of hope not fear, when the burdens you bear are so heavy you feel them weigh every inch of you down, when you wake up with regret that you made it through another night, when you feel like you're drowning in the millions of tears that have parted from your eyes, and yet you march on anyway, you throw away the pills, you put down the blade, you pick up that fork of food and you eat, you don't turn to a bottle or drugs, you dig deep within yourself for the fight you swore you had run out of months ago and you carry on with life, that is the rawest and most admirable strength there is.

Take all that love and care,
You have to share,
and give them to the person who needs and deserves them most,
the ghost
of yourself.

I miss the way my name slipped through your lips the way water slips through finger tips

I sit, take a sip, of my tea,
It doesn't taste the same
The razors don't take away the pain
Of hearing your name.

She pinned me to the wall
Breath heavy, legs a p a r t
Like the most beautiful canvas
Begging for art.

When did we
Come to the conclusion
That destroying houses
Is far more beautiful
Than creating them?

*When did we learn
It was okay
To break instead of build
Homes in others hearts?

Every time we say goodbye
I'm terrified
It'll be for the last time

Home is
The scent
The taste
The feel
The sound
The sight
Of you.

Throw down your ammunition
i have enough to tear myself apart.

Loving her comes as naturally as breathing,
I inhale her and exhale her
Every single time.

You make the ordinary extraordinary.

It is not uncommon for people to sail away from the shore, when they are most in need of the sand.

The silence of losing you
Is deafening.