And i could pick every petal off every flower in every country, and still would you love me not.

In you lies
the promise of better tomorrows
the most beautiful of tomorrows.

Write me a meal plan in bright red pain
And tell me this is the answer to all my problems again
Force down a tube through my nose and into my stomach
And watch as I flummox out of control
Fill this gaping hole inside of me
With drugs and sedation
Numb out pain and realisation
Force feed me promises and a smile
Only to regress back in a while.
Fill these cracks
With temporary fixtures
Concoctions of pills and other mixtures.
Treat me with CBT and psychotherapy
Tell me one day ill be free
And maybe if you say it enough times
Ill start to believe it
As much as you say you do.

How many opportunities
Do we miss
Because we're too afraid
To take the risk

How could our love die
when it lives
in these pages?

How do you manage to transform
A tsunami like me
Into tranquil waters.

Those lies you spun like a spiders web
Took place, built homes,
Inside my head.

Something that speaks volumes to you
Could be a mere whisper
To someone else

And the memories we so lovingly crafted, like a child building sandcastles by the sea, will forever wash over me.

I've been down to the depths of hell
And danced with the devil on
Many occasions.

The silence of losing you
Is deafening.

She breathes
Constellations straight into my lungs.
She leaves
Stars fizzing gently on my tongue.

Loving her comes as naturally as breathing,
I inhale her and exhale her
Every single time.

This applies to every single one of you. No matter how little you may believe you are worth, I swear to you, you are worth more, way more than you could ever imagine, in your wildest dreams. You are worth the same as those you value most, that girl with the body you aspire yours to be like, those people that you envy for being so naturally beautiful, your closest friends, your family. You are worth every piece of happiness, hope and health. I promise. You are not a diagnosis or a statistic, defined by criteria, percentiles and numerical figures, no. You are so much more. You are more than the inches around your waist, the abs on your stomach, the lbs that creep up and down on the scales, the self defeating thoughts, the highlighting of your insecurities, the constant regrets.
You are the air you breathe, the laughter that slips between your lips, the fight that you said you had ran out of months ago. The love you share and feel, the smiles that sweep across your face, those moments where happiness feels so close that you can almost taste it. You are daylight, the sun, nightlife, clubs and music and drunken confessions. You are a shining star, the scent of your favourite perfume, your most treasured memories crammed into ink and squashed between frames.

Never doubt that you are more.

2013 ©

Etch your name into
The delicate walls of my beating heart
Time shall not erase you.

Love:
Giving someone your heart and trusting them not to tear it right out of your chest.

Your tongue wasn't strong enough to hold the lies
And my heart wasn't ready
To face the truth

The way my name sounds
Sliding across your tongue
And
Departing from your lips
The way it feels as you draw it out
Of your hot breath and into the cold air and place it gently in the cove of my neck

Knocks me off my feet
Every single time

Darling she's the most beautiful piece of literature
you'd ever have had the pleasure of discovering
reading, indulging in, bringing to life
it's your fault, regret, mistake
that you tossed her to the side
because something less than average
caught your eye

When waves of sadness washed over me
And began to pull me under
You taught me how to swim.

Lips like red wine
And me,
I could drink and dine
on them
For a lifetime.

She anchors me
And yet at the same time
Sets me free.

Beneath the surface
I start to boil,
My inner turmoil,
The tangled weeds,
Overgrown in the soil
Of my mind
Begin to unravel and unwind
And once again I am at risk
Of losing myself
Amongst poison ivy,
Planted by the lies
you told me.

Me?
I am astoundingly lucky,
You make me indescribably happy.
You free me from the deepest of insecurities,
and teach me,
To love myself,
show me the beauty you see,
teach me
to be, all i can be.

You make the ordinary extraordinary.

I miss the way my name slipped through your lips the way water slips through finger tips

She was an earth quake
And with one touch
I would forsake
Everything.

What happens when she doesn't want rescuing
When this mission you're persuing
is all in vain.

When I hold your hand in mine
I have the entire world
At my fingertips.

Take all that love and care,
You have to share,
and give them to the person who needs and deserves them most,
the ghost
of yourself.

They say home is where the heart is
Well then I haven't been home in years.
Because I have no idea
Where my heart lays

Just the sound of your voice
Causes the corners of my lips
To rejoice
Upwards.

You have touched me
Left fingerprints
In places no other ever has
And nobody else
Ever will.

You tell me your afraid of the dark
well darling, ill stand in the shadows of your heart
and blaze a path,
so bright,
you won't have to be frightened anymore.

just because you can't see the stars it doesn't mean they're not shining.

Sometimes things have to fall apart,
to make way,
for a better beginning, a fresh start,
at least that's what you told me,
the night you tore out my heart.

Today is the yesterday that you will regret throwing away tomorrow.
Use it wisely.

You made me feel as though I was wrong
For needing air in my lungs
Love in my heart and
Reassurance somewhere inbetween.

And being in your arms
felt like coming home
and there was no scent more reassuring
Than the sweet smell of your cologne
as it enveloped me
in sanctity, security,
as the purity of your love
set sail so gently
upon my frail, abandoned, shipwrecked
body.

When every bone in your body aches to be relieved through death, When it hurts to breathe, when the thoughts and ideations of self harm cut you deeper than any blade could and the thought of suicide is one of hope not fear, when the burdens you bear are so heavy you feel them weigh every inch of you down, when you wake up with regret that you made it through another night, when you feel like you're drowning in the millions of tears that have parted from your eyes, and yet you march on anyway, you throw away the pills, you put down the blade, you pick up that fork of food and you eat, you don't turn to a bottle or drugs, you dig deep within yourself for the fight you swore you had run out of months ago and you carry on with life, that is the rawest and most admirable strength there is.

Me?
I reached for a star
and came back with the moon.

To hold a hand, a heart, a body and in that moment, to feel as though you have found a home.

We stopped asking questions
Because we were too afraid to
Know the answers.

Your insecurities,
all those flaws you believe to be impurities,
are beautiful,
to me.

Darling,
if you were single, i wouldn't be.

No matter how lost I am
You always guide me home.

For years i'd survived,
through the intoxication of your love,
And the day you left,
I was forced into sobriety.

Wind mills in our skulls
So fast we can't get a grasp on
Pretty pills
As we stare out
Of barred windowsills