You were like the purest of rainbows shooting through my veins.
You were better than any pills, ****** or *******.
No drug around, made me feel the same,
helped me forget,
the way you called my name.

And i would have done anything for just one more fix,
a touch, a hit, the taste of those lips.
But reality it slips and skips,
and misses,
and slowly but surely,
I recovered without those kisses.

People often tell me I'm a Daddy's girl
And whenever I try to explain why
I get lost for words,
When I begin to even try,

It's the tight grasp of your
Reassuring hand,
It's the freedom of
Never living in demand.
It's the way you hold me
Every time I cry,
The way that you know
Without even asking why.
It's your warming
And contagious laughter,
It's because with you I know no matter what happens
You'll be waiting after,
With a listening ear,
It's the fact that you're so sincere.
It's the way you take my fears
And brush them away,
It's the promise of being there
That you've kept til this day.
It's the years, you've fought by my side,
It's the way you look at me
With such pride.
It's the fact that you're not perfect
Nor are you trying to be,
It's the devotion and
The belief you have for me.
Its your unfaltering and calming
Presence
It's the when I'm searching for
An essence of hope
You shower me in it,
It's the way in which we sit
In silence for hours on end
Not only are you my father,
But my only real best friend.
It's the fact that on you,
I know I can depend.
It's the me I see in you and the
You I see in me.
It's the fact that no matter how lost
I am
You always guide me home,
It's because with you
I know I shall never walk alone,
It's because every memory we've shared,
The meals you've so thoughtfully cooked and prepared,
Have been done with so much love
It's because when I feel like I'm drowning
You lift me up above
The water.
It's the fact that I'm your daughter.
It's the glint in your eye,
And the compassion in your voice,
It's because with you,
I know you'll respect my choices.


It's the waterfights, the trampolining, the shopping trips, the dreaming.
It's the pool, and the Xbox too,
It's the way without you, I have no idea what i'd do..
It's the walks, the talks, the games,
The frames of photographs,
It's the serious late night talks,
The happy and memorable laughs,
It's the hospital trips, the dunked biscuits,the broken arm,
it's the way in which you disable the ringing of alarms inside my skull.

When people ask why I'm a daddy's girl,
It's all these things, and so much more.
It's because what ever I ask for,
You tell me that's what daddy's are for.
It's the way you aid me to open doors
To the present
Despite my fears
It's the way you've never faltered
Throughout the years.

You are my logic
At times when I stumble
You are my foundations
At times when I crumble apart.
It's love you give me,
From the bottom of your heart.
It's the hundred new beginnings and fresh starts
The thousand chances,
The cheesy dances.

Its because when I burn around
My edges and sometimes my very core
You shower me with your love
And when it rains, it pours.

Dad, there are a million reasons,
Why you're my king,
And that you will remain,
Strong and shining.
So when people ask why I'm a daddy's girl
Ill keep it short and sweet
But never forget, never regret,
You're the number one dad to defeat.

When did we
Come to the conclusion
That destroying houses
Is far more beautiful
Than creating them?

*When did we learn
It was okay
To break instead of build
Homes in others hearts?

Some people walk into a room and light it up
She sets it on fire.

If every scar could write a story,
then inside of me lies a book.
If ever I dare dig deep enough,
to take a proper look.

To put pen to paper,
and bring to life, Past and Pain,
to scribble out
and exchange,
Words for Scars.
Reality and Truth.
To risk my foundations shaking,
my earth, Quaking.
and leaving me roofless
seems Ruthless.

If every scar could write a story,
then inside of me lies a book.
If ever I dare dig deep enough,
to take a proper look.

Mesmerized
I look into your eyes
A cold wind
as we begin
our journey
t'ward
Eternity
My hand waiting for yours
The stars, they soar.
We float above houses, fields,
We stand on mountains,
We drink from fountains.

My eyes open,
The token of your love
In my left hand, a ring,
The future it promised to bring
Once more,
I am alone
I no longer own
This moment
The leaves they dance
As our romance
Leaves behind morsels
A shell remains
Engulfed in flames of self blame
I take the plunge.
And I walk,
I move my feet,
I eat,
our memories and plans
Your final goodbye
Your wants, demands.
The marching band drums
Beat in time with my tortured soul,
We were supposed to grow old.
I pick up the fork,
Force down that which remains.
I devour guilt,
Upon the foundations we built
Of strength.
Worlds at a time,
I combine,
Mine and yours,
Unopened doors.
The house we never furnished,
The walk we never took
The book that was never written,.
Our story, unfinished,
Your life diminished.

I sit, take a sip, of my tea,
It doesn't taste the same
The razors don't take away the pain
Of hearing your name.

Place your hands around the neck of expectation,
lace your fingers tight, with your friend, frustration
Take steps into a nation
too small to restrain you
too big to contain you
Too simple to explain you.

To aspire and inspire, to analyse, criticise, to encourage, share, support and advise.

And there are still footprints
On my heart,
And tear drops,
On my cheeks,
And as the days slowly pass by,
And sift into weeks,
I am greeted with,
Bitter sweet
Memories pressed against me,
Like your pastel pink lips,
Swaying in and out of my mind,
Like your perfect little hips.
They're wrapped and entwined in my mind,
The way your arms, used to wrap around mine.
And there's a fine line,
Between allowing heart ache to
Make or break you,
And Im worried sick,
It'll do the latter of the two.

In you lies
the promise of better tomorrows
the most beautiful of tomorrows.

She took the stars right out of the sky and planted them in the pupils of my eyes.

There are horror stories lurking in the shadows of your eyes
That you try so desperately, to mask
To disguise
That you wrap up so carefully
In pretty little lies.

One thing you must realise
There's only so long you can hide
From the dark inside.

If it has the potential to break you
It has the potential to make you.

There's not a doubt in my mind that she has my heart
I see it
Every time I look into her eyes.

In loving me, you taught me to love myself.

*In forgiving me, you taught me to forgive myself.

She closed the door
On what could have been
Wiped the floor
Of what should have been
Cleared the shelves of our memories
Washing her hands
Of the eternity
That we had both promised.
She painted the walls, and decked the halls
With her new lovers pen
Changed the locks
So I couldn't see her again.
She wrote away our history
On a little post it note
And sent it in an envelope of
Divorce papers
She called in the painters and decorators
And started anew
Put to bed
All that we'd been through
And left me dangling
By a thread
Waiting for the phone to call
For any sign at all
That this wasn't true.
Waiting for the I love yous
That had warmed even the coldest of mornings
Better than any cup of coffee ever could
Waiting for the reassuring cuddles and kisses
That had made me feel so, so good.
Waiting
For
The one person who had always caught me, to catch me
As I fell
Head first into an abyss
Of late nights and stiff drinks
That she'd spent years, pouring down sinks.
But since she's been gone
I've picked up the bottle again
And it's began to throttle the pain.
So I drink down the past and remains in whiskey drops
Until the floor lures me
I lose sight of the clocks
And hit the decks.
If I was a pirate,
I'd make a mighty good ship mate
But as it is
I'm not and I'm late for work
And wearing odd socks
A shadow of the man I used to be.
And even my shadow doesn't recognise me.

Your arms are the most beautiful of homecomings.

There are things your only your eyes have ever seen
Places that only you have ever touched
Memories created
That have never meant so much.

One seed of doubt gets planted in my mind and suddenly I'm lost in a jungle.

If morning had never graced its presence that day,
Would you still have upped and gone away?
And if the sun had never shone that dawn,
Would I still be alone, this early morn?
If the stars had never ceased,
And the darkness had kept its presence,
If the night had never drew in
And the moon stayed ever crescent
Would you still be laying by my side
Would there still have been that change in tide?
Because since the seas direction changed
I've been left in the remains, off shore
Fighting for something,
Though for what I'm unsure.
I've been treading water at a steady pace,
But there's only so long, can race
Before time comes and takes our place.
And the seaweeds are starting to pull me under
And the clouds in my mind are starting to thunder,
I search desperately for shelter, solid ground,
I long to be found,
But the shift in tide has bound
Me
A daughter of the sea,
Alone, trapped in we.
And my heart lays heavy,
In a bottle of sherry
Too heavy to keep afloat
So send out your rescue mission
Your men and boats
But they will not find me,
I am entangled in chains,
And the remnants and remains
You cannot see.
So as I drown, in this bottle of whiskey
Consumed by the taste
From the last time you kissed me,
Fuelled by the solace at our loss of history
Do not try to save me,
You are the one who deserves to be free.

And people wonder why I struggle to sleep
My answer
I forgot how to count sheep
After the night you sliced up my dreams and threw me into relentless nightmares.

Fear not there haunted eyes,
a young girl, broken,
behind them lies.

You're a constellation of stars
The only constellation of stars
In my sky.

just because you can't see the stars it doesn't mean they're not shining.

I want to feel
my legs shake,
as you create an
earth quake
inside of me
that'll leave me quivering
for days.

There'd be no need to bleed
a pen of its ink
if only I had the ability 
to decipher what I think.

Each time we kiss
I taste happiness
On my lips

You pulled the foundations I'd spent years forming
Right from under me

Trying to capture and articulate
To produce ink on a page
Where
chemical solutions form words
That burn inside our mouths

If you were a book
I would run out of ink underlining all of my favourite things about you.

Wind mills in our skulls
So fast we can't get a grasp on
Pretty pills
As we stare out
Of barred windowsills

When I burn around my edges
And sometimes my very core
You shower me with your love,
When it rains it pours.

Life is a maze,
Some of us get lost along the way.

The sun dances across her skin
As though it knows what it has always
Shone far
I swear someone stole the brightest stars out of the sky
And planted them into the pupils of her eyes.
I see them twinkle, every time they catch mine.
She could destroy an entire city, and still look beautiful doing it.
She has taught my heart a rhythm it cannot live without.

I press my lips against your forehead as you sleep and dream and once again I evade sleep for I cannot face the thought of it taking me away from these moments, the moments I capture tightly with both hands and cram into the moving photographs of my heart.
Your hot skin tangled up in mine feels as cold as steel compared to the forest fires that dart through our veins, erupting in each other's hearts.
Amongst the debris, the ash, the embers, lies the very foundation of who we are apart and the inferno we are together.
You pull my body into your arms ablaze I free fall deeper and deeper into you, into me, for we, are as one.
The honesty and irrefutable truth of what we share and who we are together, brings sanctuary that could never be corrupted, comfort that distance could never waiver and a security that shall withstand any obstacle and endure strongly, the sifting sands of time.

That goodbye
Where it feels
As though each word trips over the other
Slips between your lips
And stumbles heavily
Out of your mouth.

The fog that night doesn't compare
With the smog you left in my mind

She plants kisses
On my lips
Leaving cherry red stains
That seep deep
Beneath my chest.

With you there was no falling in love
There was flying
Realising
I'd found everything i'd ever wanted
And more
A love so pure
Above mountains and into
The clouds I soar.

Sometimes things have to fall apart,
to make way,
for a better beginning, a fresh start,
at least that's what you told me,
the night you tore out my heart.

I carefully stitched your name
embroidered each memory,
each beautiful piece of art
into the delicate walls
of my beating heart.
I put aside the threat of pain,
the tearing apart,
the risk of scars that would remain,
in the hope that I would never
have to
unpick, unfasten,
you, again.

How I was wrong.
And the unstitching never gets easier
and the short sharp scratch
Each time, you work your way back
Hurts just as much as the last.

Lesson one: give your heart to someone who gives theirs back. And hell she'll give you her heart on her sleeve, with a magic that allows you to conceive, real love, the kind that others dream of, the kind you look above and wish upon a star for, everything you wanted, she'll give you more.
Lesson two: find eyes that embody a maze that you could get lost in for days. And as you gaze at each other, you are no longer dazed by anxieties and caution signs because she reads through the lines and untangles and unwinds knots others have left behind.
Lesson three: lust is not love but when you find both, grab them tight. Because for the first time in your life you'll feel as though you got something right and as you see her in sight and she sets you alight with just one look, take note of the tattered heart she willingly took, the time she gave up to read into and not judge by the cover of your book.
Lesson four: always hold the door but never hold back. Hold the door for opportunity and unity in a way you could never construe existed, because within moments she'll have your eyes misted, your vision twisted, into the future, you see yourselves sharing, and those walls that she's tearing down will form new foundations for you to find your own ground.
Lesson five: tell her everyday how beautiful you think she is. Because with every day that passes, through each lens of her glasses she'll develop a tainted view and this time it's up to you to offer her your eyes, to help her see and realise, her beauty inside. Inside the body you adore, the woman you'd do anything for.
Lesson six: love is meant to last. So run her a bath, fill up her glass, do the dishes, commend her wishes, lay her fears to rest as she curls into your chest, calm the wars in her mind, undo and unwind with the love that you find in a fountain overflowing with her name, show her your game, not now but for forever, that whatever the weather, you will be there, show her you care and if you tried you couldn't care any more, tell her every day what you're grateful for.
Lesson seven: draw a line under the faults your find for she is only human too, let her know you love her through and through.
Lesson eight: show her. Kiss her, hold her, brush your fingers through her hair and stare into her eyes, as they sparkle and shine as the milk and honey on her lips and yours become entwined. For her make time, all the time in the world, because only once, will you find this girl, this lady, the one that you'll say, made you into the person you always wanted to be, who gave you eyes to see, only once will you find this lady, who will set you free, allow you to be all that you can be, and you shall do the same for her too, only once do you find the other half of you.

My anxieties have a way of strangling me
And snatching life from under me
Better than any noose
Ever could

If morning had never graced its presence that day,
Would you still have upped and gone away?
And if the sun had never shone that dawn,
Would I still be alone, this early morn?
If the stars had never ceased,
And the darkness had kept its presence,
If the night had never drew in
And the moon stayed ever crescent
Would you still be laying by my side
Would there still have been that change in tide?
Because since the seas direction changed
I've been left in the remains, off shore
Fighting for something,
Though for what I'm unsure.
I've been treading water at a steady pace,
But there's only so long, can race
Before time comes and takes our place.
And the seaweeds are starting to pull me under
And the clouds in my mind are starting to thunder,
I search desperately for shelter, solid ground,
I long to be found,
But the shift in tide has bound
Me
A daughter of the sea,
Alone, trapped in we.
And my heart lays heavy,
In a bottle of sherry
Too heavy to keep afloat
So send out your rescue mission
Your men and boats
But they will not find me,
I am entangled in chains,
And the remnants and remains
You cannot see.
So as I drown, in this bottle of whiskey
Consumed by the taste
From the last time you kissed me,
Fuelled by the solace at our loss of history
Do not try to save me,
You are the one who deserves to be free.

If morning had never graced its presence that day,
Would you still have upped and gone away?
Or would we have stayed, forever embraced, fingers interlaced,
In a morsel of romance.
And if the sun had never shone that dawn,
Would I still be alone, this early morn?
And would we still have had to mourn over our loss?
If the stars had never ceased,
And the darkness had kept its presence,
If the night had never drew in
And the moon stayed ever crescent
Would the tides of change still have to flow,
And form a drift between us two,
Would we have to mourn our history,
Would we still be through?

Though maybe if the morning had never come,
and if the sun had never shone,
and the stars had never ceased,
Your chance of happiness would be gone,
And I treasure that of yours,
More than I do of mine,
So let the sands of time sift between us two
Let the stars shine and the moon not confine, you.
Let dawn break, as we awake to a new day
Let the tide change
And let the remains
Embrace you in all the joy you deserve.

And i could pick every petal off every flower in every country, and still would you love me not.

What if the sky isn't blue?
What if the grass isn't green too?
What if the sea isn't wet?
What if we never felt the sharp sting of regret?
What if morning never came?
What if there was no sunshine after the rain?
What if the leaves they didn't dance?
What if love didn't involve romance?
What if humanity ceases to exist?
What if time, was all but a myth?
What if the suns rays didn't shine?
What if poetry didn't rhyme?
What if the breeze never blew?
What if birds never flew?
What if colours existed in shades we'd never imagined?
What if no one could recall, terrible things that have happened?
What if there was no such thing as war?
What if no one closed or opened a door?
What if no one died?
What if no one ever lied?
What if humanity wasn't corrupted?
What if this world we live in, wasn't distructed.
What if global warming was just a scare?
What if all parties involved chose to play fair?
What if life didn't end in dying?
What if we were all satisified, just because we were trying?