We're dying to live and yet we're living to die.

My is mind is not my own today,
so please excuse these words i say.
I am not entirely sure what i think and feel,
its difficult to differentiate what is and isn't real.
My mind is playing games on me,
blurring my sight, so i struggle to see,
to undress reality.
There are holes in my thinking,
dents and Im sinking.
Deeper and deeper,
my fight growing weaker and weaker.
My mind is not my own today,
all logic it seems to have been thrown away,
So i sit in dismay,
and apologise
for these vacant eyes.

For as sure as the moon will rise,
Will i look into those eyes of yours every single day, and tell you i love you.

Its harder to get lost in a desert than in her eyes.

They say home is where the heart is
Well then I haven't been home in years.
Because I have no idea
Where my heart lays

Don't try and save me.
Thousands have tried and failed,
watched disappointingly,
each time I've derailed.
Don't set of shore and raise the sails.
Im drowning,
Sinking in a sea of what could have and what should have been
There is no life boat strong enough to take back the things I've seen
withhold my weighty heart.
my soul is anchored in the the darkest parts,
The murkiest waters.
It is held down in the depths
of despair
Save your own sons and daughters.
Im a wasted rescue mission.
Throw down your ammunition
i have enough to tear myself apart.

Sometimes when I'm lost in this abyss
I wonder if you miss me
As much as I do you.

Sometimes when the clouds start to thunder
A dark and lonely storm
I wonder if you miss me
Holding you to keep you warm.
As much as I miss holding you
When the curtains they drew in the dawn
And each time we were reborn in each others arms,
Together.

And I wonder when these storms will start to clear
Because its already been a year and three days
And in so many ways
I still haven't let you go.