I hate you, I love you
I love you, I hate you
How can feelings said to be opposite
Be fully turned on you

I'm sorry
I'm not sorry
But I'll lie over gain
If it meant protecting you

Ame to Sora
Kuro to Ao
Watashi no Tenshi wa Aidesu

Blue ink Blue poison
Coursing through my vein
Killing me
It needs an outlet
And me an embrace

"I killed someone"
I cried
The Dreamer
The Wanderer
The one whose imagination
Rivals that of the Gods
I never meant to
I just wanted more control
Being a dreamer as it downsides
Determined to be disciplined
I trained
But in reality
I was killing my creativity
It happened so suddenly
Is what I tell myself
But I felt her dieing
Saw all the warnings
But I never fought for her
I watched as she slipped away
Tears stained her flawless face
"I forgive you"
She uttered
At that moment
Something died within me
Irreplaceable,
It can never be revived
My Muse is forever dead
And I eternally locked from it domain

My Calamity,
An ever shifting beauty
Esoteric and unnatural in it being,
Like a taste you can't taste,
So foreign none of my senses perceive her.
She.....She.......
She evades any explanation I could give,
A limitation on her.
She—
A blank canvas,
Touched and formed by an Old soul—
A certain Confessional poet —
Who filled her with more truth
Than there is in the Bible.
Raw, Unbridled, Mind boggling
I know I won't survive her,
Yet........Yet
My heart aches to see it all,
To know,
Not to change, but to understand,
To love, to hate, to fight, to reconcile.
It my calamity and I,
Versus
The truth.

My bane, the unseen—
The part of me
I never want to meet.
You grew in silence,
A writhing mass of shadow,
Born from loneliness
And self-defeat.

Oh, how I hate you.
But I can’t.
Because hating you
Means hating me.
You’re the sum
Of all my wrong turns—
And still,
I run back to you.
Because in the end,
Only you
See the real me.

The world outside is a jungle.
They walk on two legs,
But bite with their words.
You became my cage.
And though the key is in my hand,
I hold it like a blade.
I want to break you
For the pain you bring—
But you’re also
My only comfort.

I locked you away.
Still, I run to you.
Banging and banging
On the walls I built—
Trapped between black and white,
Running from both,
Neither offering understanding.

So here I am—
Your jailer.
Your only friend.
Your enemy.

And I wonder,
After all this…
Do you care for me?