I fell in love with glimpses,
of images,
of what you were...
and what we could be.
Glimpses that blinded me.

I found myself looking behind,
to try to find that one time,
where I saw who you are.
Without the mask, and costume,
you’re convinced that you need to wear.
Convinced by your beautiful soul, smile and hair.
That they are not, and never would be enough.

Overcompensation is your image.

The reflection of perfection, in a flawed mirror.

But those glimpses of purity, were purely and surely
who you really are.
But if you don’t know it, how could I?
How could I see,
and feel,
and experience,
the you that "you" run away from.
So often, that it has to be bad for you,
and tire you out.
Why else would you run?
Have you become so accustomed to feeling numb,
that feeling anything else is feeling dumb?
and weird?
to seek out the flaws that make you unique?

Flaws is the harshest word you’ve ever heard
But the beauty I see in it,
and you,
are what keep me afloat during the stormier times.
Times from stories we don’t tell to anyone,
but remember as we lay awake at night.
Left wondering which secret story it was,
that sealed the deal.

Like a brand new prescription,
these glimpses of you give me hope,
that this time will be different.
I will pace myself, with this new addiction.
Far from a joke, but who am I kidding?
I’m the only one laughing,
manic and panicked.
Standing defeated, from believing I had it.
The comfort in pain just waiting for you to shine on through;
proves that if I’m not chasing her, and if I’m not chasing you,
I’m running in place, in a race that I’ll lose.
But losing you is not a loss,
thats just our love and what it cost.

I wrestled with the black sea
that brood inside of her,
but nothing I possessed
could stop that dark tide
from taking her.

The skies were that pretty kind of gray,
cloudy saturated with the smell of rain.
It was one of those days where you felt
six feet deep in bills you couldn't pay
and promises you couldn't keep.
Thoughts of Robert Frost because
I still have miles to go before I sleep.

I never understood how both
a self-obsessed egomaniac
and a hopeless romantic
could inhabit one body;
perhaps it is the reason
I have spent so much time
in front of the mirror, hating myself.

The most soothing warmth of the smoothest skin
The animal is sated deep within
We have both died in love's offering
With Heaven's kiss
Praying time does not begin
Eternal bliss