Have you ever loved so hard, you felt a pain in your chest ?
Or were left with dried tears ?
Did you torture yourself at night wondering if they were doing the same?
What do you do when days feel like months and months feel like years?
Food starts tasting bland indicating nothing else matters.
I wanted to close the blinds during my blindness love.
Permenantly destroying our memories together and forgetting you existed
Love is a drug, it will feel like ecstasy and then you turn into a fein.
Hoping you get another fix from those sweet tender lips.

I wanted to erase her name from an empty notebook
I burnt blank pages in desolation
But she still survived in my mind (and heart)
Like those radiant ashes at the fireplace,
reminding me of our timeless love
Now I curse the fire
for it was too late
**She was lost from my life

I want to get drunk off of language
just one last time
words come out so much easier when intoxicated.

Much simpler than trying it the sober way
everyday I want to tell him I love him
I want to tell the truth
I want to feel like everything is acceptable
I want to talk to you

I want to come clean with no excuses
even if the truth hurts.

and from love to hate
to anger to trust
to that time I wanted to **** myself
but cowered over sleeping pills and razor blades blood stains and emergency first responders

I want to share things I am too afraid to share
things I hide away from plain sight

I want to hold him tight
I want to thank you for breaking my heart too
I want to share incredibly sad things in the dead of the night
I want to be brave
I want to be strong

I want to be intoxicated with life.
Even if seems wrong.