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empty seas Apr 2019
no one wants me

i’m too loud
uninteresting
annoying
and it shows

i see the looks
on my new friends’ faces
it makes me not want to try

i’ll try for now
but i’m worried it’ll
never work
“if you weren’t the new kid
i would make fun of you
for your perfectionism”
-my friend
empty seas Apr 2019
i feel so alone
unsatisfied
without the waves
of the ocean
crashing over me

i can't be satiated
i just want to smell the
salt in the air
feel the foam on my skin

i want to see the beauty
the ocean can give me

i'm snorkeling at the great barrier reef in a week and i am just so freaking excited
empty seas Mar 2019
my eyes are burning
they were open much too long
so let me close them
and kiss the tears that slip through the cracks
wrap your warm arms around me
and hold me
until the sun rises
i like you, and i want to trust you
but for now, i just dream
empty seas Mar 2019
a ghost on the water
can you see her?
the pasts of people thrown overboard
cast aside
she is waste
second place
proxy for someone better

and she knows
there’s always someone other
than her

i’ve always tried so hard but i’ll always be a replacement or a rebound
i know in some cases that’s not true but i can’t convince myself otherwise
i don’t even know why i try with my friendships when it’s so obvious i’m annoying
i just wanna cry and give up
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