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Childhood slipped out
like sand between careless fists—
I never held it right.
So scraps are what I have to show
Find myself amidst the undertow
A pathetic pile of perfumed dreams  
Like pretending life is greater than it seems
This multiverse molded with illusions and tricks
To knock you down just for kicks
Nothing glamorous about depression
A void that leaves the deepest impression
Feeling like rocks loaded onto my back
As if gravity is out of whack
Attempting to rise off the floor
Each movement leaves muscles sore
Past mistakes written in blood
Try but fail washing away with a flood
So sick and tired staying the same
Doubt and fear the scapegoats to blame
Reasons irrelevant nevertheless
Little extra effort might lead to success
I am aware everything is bound to fall apart
One by one shards will chip off my heart
I attempt reassembling it with some glue
To give it away like deja vu
These choices I cannot explain
Behavior proof I must be insane
Wasting more minutes than I have to spare
Fish out of water and I'm gasping for air
Can't you see I'm drowning?
A sea of my regrets
Ghosts dancing on horizon staring at their silhouettes
I think about years I continue to let slip through my hands
I'm so exhausted chasing answers to a puzzle I don't understand
Scared to admit this the extent of what I'll become
Wonder if I'll ever escape the place that I am from
I yearn to love now like I loved back then
Believe in magic and forever again
But hopeful naivete faded along with the sparkle in my eye
Like while I've been in limbo best opportunities passed me by
In a cerebral cage confidence confined by bars
Self-acceptance shackled by a multitude of scars
I am sorrier than lips will ever audibly speak
Unsure if my dungeon will let me discover the exit I desperately seek
This nightmare of creation darkens at an alarming rate
Need to wake up from this coma I'm in before it is too late
You live your life in a dream that you can't escape
Cause you live your life in a coma you're never awake...
They sat together in the dimly lit room,
Two souls entwined in an invisible gloom.
The air grew thick, as the seconds stretched,
In a silence profound, their nerves were etched.

Eyes would flicker, searching for a place to land,
Fingers fidgeted, twisting a silver band.
A cough, a sigh, a shuffling of feet,
Echoed like thunder, in a silence discreet.

"Lovely weather," one finally said,
As the other nodded, wishing for words instead.
Their cups of tea, now lukewarm and still,
Matched the conversation, awkward and shrill.

Thoughts raced wildly, but words refused to stay,
Like skittish birds, they fluttered away.
A clock ticked loudly, in the corner it chimed,
Filling the void, with seconds unkind.

Minds would wander, then snap back in place,
Searching for cues, in the other's face.
An accidental glance, then quickly withdrawn,
Eyes meeting briefly, then back to the drawn.

Awkward silence, a dance so hard to bear,
Yet in its midst, a strange bond shared.
For sometimes in the quiet, without a word,
Connections are made, though nothing is heard.

In that fragile stillness, where time seemed to freeze,
They found a fleeting comfort, a strange, subtle ease.
Though silence hung heavy, like a cloud above,
In its awkward embrace, they discovered a kind of love.
I am going to add to this as the first in a series of poems, mainly because I love people watching and guessing what people are thinking. If you recognise yourself in any of this series it may be because I was watching you ;-)
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135927/people-watching/
You buried me
Half the world away
And a lifetime ago

Yet you find me
In your every daydream
In every foreign touch
In every what if...

Almost...
But never quite
How haunting is that?
I asked God for the truth .

And he said "You will know the truth , and the truth will set you free."

But he didn't tell me it would make me sad .
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                           Just Another Smug Football Recusant

Last night at dusk I admired the brightening stars
And before going inside put the gate on the latch
While saying goodnight to the Moon, Jupiter, and Mars
(Someone said something about a football match?)
I've always
hated
change

Recently it's become
easier;
the little things
at least

I changed my room
got rid of some old books
never thought that day would come

But this, this
Metamorphosis
is nearly
impossible

Painful
I feel like I'm
dying
sometimes

As much as I hate to admit it,
I'm scared
petrified

My mind
"she always did have SUCH an overactive imagination"
jumping from worse-case scenario
to worse-case scenario

I find myself wishing for something
easier
simpler
like the apocalypse

Let's be honest,
Walkers are kind of pathetic anyway
at least then we'd be too busy
surviving
to worry about all this

I know I just need time
But right now I still just
hate
change
 Feb 10 Lizzie Bevis
Khoisan
Higgeldy piggeldy snort
the pig ran away with the pork

nothing could stoppit
not even a rocket

and
the bacon
flew over
the fork.
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