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 Jan 2021 Lizzie
processing loss is a very dangerous job
the machines are terrifying
the hours are long
and the pay is terrible
 Jan 2021 Lizzie
Beda Flores
“ Is it weird to feel empty
Or like you don’t belong in the world
Well that’s what I feel
Like I’m not blending into the crowd
I’m still trying to figure out what I like
And what crowd  
am I supposed to be in
I Just feel empty
But when I get to work
I see this one special person
Who makes me feel like
There’s someone out there
Who’s just waiting for me
You know
I guess you could
Say they are a
Special soul
 Jan 2021 Lizzie
Joe james
 Jan 2021 Lizzie
Joe james
Blinded I was but now so blessed look through the window all I see is a mess blinded I was i was so depressed but now I see I am so blessed blossoming trees and flowers
I am so blessed
 Jan 2021 Lizzie
if i want to get big,
my goals have to get bigger

if i “love him so much”,
i have to be the best for him

so i’m going to be the best
feel a wave of exhaustion coming on
gonna try and ride it out
to somewhere beyond this moment
cause i can't stand right now
say i'm fine
thats a lie
but i will be
that just takes time
for now i guess
we'll just be friends
gotta embrace the end
and learn where your boundaries begin
not good enough
for me
or for you
don't say
i'm being silly
you know its true

cause if she's a five
what am i
close my eyes
try not to cry

because i don't
think this is what
you're trying to do
when i don't wanna
be myself
you'll be confused

but you don't get it
so just forget it
already did it
too late to fix it

cause the things
you say manage
to hurt
when i'm in
front of the mirror
i hear the words

they never leave me be
feed my insecurities
i hate having to be me
sorry for what you have to see

i live everyday
feeling you're much more
than i deserve
but i feel like
out of your choices
i'm nowhere near first
 Jan 2021 Lizzie
I like caramel
he likes too
am I gonna get cavities ?
 Jan 2021 Lizzie
 Jan 2021 Lizzie
is this what it feels like
to feel like you are capable
of being human?

to wake up sweating & shivering
terrified & your lips quivering
about what may be
and what you may see

to love so deeply that
loss weighs heavily on
your mind

to pray so piously to
be the one for you
but failure keeps
you close by

is this what it feels like
to feel like you are capable
of being human--

'cause i think
i'd rather die.
sick and crumbling from sweated sheets onto the ground
i don't want to be found like this, don't want to be seen
cause my body's giving up, my weakness, it's so lame
keeling over in pain and illness, i say

"go away"
but i don't want you to go away
i'm afraid to die alone... hey
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