Sachiko

Sachiko Sep 2018

Me

You know it is hard walking alone each day.
Every footstep that I see it makes me brave.
Nobody knows how anxious I am when I look at my steps is getting further.
So, I build up my courage and take a deep breath.
Before, I start walking again I know I shouldn’t look back.
As I look back on my fear will come and change my route.
As I walk alone, I see the world.
It scares me how real and unfair it maybe.
I try to hold back my tears as I want to appear unbreakable.
I am naive to think happy and grind can make me unbeatable.
It becomes unreal to me.
A month of pretending. I am tired.
I’ve been fooling myself to keep positivity as my armor.
It didn’t protect me at all instead it ruined me.
I don’t walk as much anymore.
I ride my way back home.
I blast of music keep me conscious of what is real.
It continues to make a distance from my own bubble.
They made me feel bad for being myself.
As I sing my heart out inside the moving vehicle.
I am not just singing instead I am pouring out every emotion that I stay away.
I cannot get away from what I truly feel.
It made me shiver.
It made me feel.
It made me human.
It made me, me.

This is me. I never tell my bad days to other people as I don't want to be a burden to anybody. There are few people that I only say what I feel because I know they'll never gonna leave me. But it feels so exhausting for being not real, and for thinking that what I feel is not valued. It's hard to be sad when they always see you strong. But you can't deny that you are also human. And you are breakable, fragile and emotional.

#you #cannot #tell #what #feel

Sachiko Aug 2018

I Can See It

There is beauty behind the scars of your heart.
I can see it with the wide view that you’ve been hurt.
But, I am willing to accept it no matter how intense the sting.
You thought maybe you’re black and white.
I can see it your true colors bright after the rain.
You’re the aftermath restoration of the thunderstorm.
A form of a rainbow when I look up when I am bored.
I become alive from my lifeless life without any movement.
I am like a leaf being watered with sunlight full of brightness.
I can see you look at me in much dearness.
But I was too afraid to tell you my own secrets.
We both played fair mind games in search of trust.
I can see you want to unravel every pieces of the puzzle.
Dissecting every part of me you’re willing to be naked.
As you won’t give up finding truth beneath the portrayed label.
You are the first person who seeks more than the picture.
So, I quietly hide in the woods with my thorns lying in my own bed.
As I love your flaws as well, but I was not ready to be revealed.
For you, I want to accept my personal truth and become a whole.
As I closed my eyes and I murmured “I wasn’t ready to be with you as I moved along”.

We all want to be loved but afraid to show who we really are.

#unravel

Sachiko Aug 2018

I am

I don’t live in a moment.
I have a series of to do list each day.
I won’t lie if I like to be organized.
I am like a super spy I have Plan A and Plan B.
I am wrecked if things don’t do well.
I like being in control of my own actions.
I cannot go with the flow.
I am not good at it.
I like certainty.

#whoireallyam

Sachiko Jul 2018

Model Figure

She only sees what’s on the surface.
She doesn’t want to get *****.
So, she remains neat in the whole place.
What a beautiful lady, she said.
Porcelain skin, Thin body and Long legs
A beauty of woman structured by the minds of everybody.
A venom which poisoned every women’s mentality.
The trend of fixation with diet and fitness.
Hold on, It is a disastrous result of unhappiness.
Women should not label how beautiful they are based on an adoptive thinking of a single person.
Women should never place any degree, size, weight, height or even measure their body.
CONTENTMENT, is hard to reach in this era of comparison.
One click there's a displayed unreachable perfection, concealed discoloration, and filtered images.
We must stop our fingers to emphasize each other flaws.
Let us begin counting good manners that we have done in humanity.
We must do it with sincerity.
Because people are now focusing on quantity instead of quality.

I can't do my work properly because I keep thinking this topic in my head. And all I want is to get it out inside my thoughts so I can focus on what I am doing.

#stop #comparing #selflove

Sachiko Jul 2018

Just Smile

The way she looks at her reflection.
A feedback of shimmer around the corner.
She is undeniably beautiful.
But she is torn from her own thoughts.
She is not well-made as a structure.
She is afraid to be shattered into pieces.
Crying deep inside with unsaid feelings.
A little worry she thought it will eventually disappear.
They say, “make mistakes, perfection is a fiction”
Her smile is a facade of happiness.
And just being tired surrounded by unreal elements.
She has to leave without hesitation.
She’s waiting for a just reason.
Honestly, she doesn’t have to create her own argument.
A release from a deep sigh.
She wants to see her real smile.
A smile that touches her soul.
A smile without hidden agenda.
A smile that will keep her through until the dark night.
She is currently on her lowest degree.
And figuring out where to flee.
But don’t worry she will continue to be brave.
Negativity becomes rampant she will never be a slave.
She will carry herself with an assumption that her smile is a lethal weapon.

This is the time when I feel bad about myself and I feel like I have no one to tell what I really feel and no one seems to understand about the situation. And all I have to do is to be strong for myself.

#strong #smile #lethal #weapon

Sachiko Jul 2018

He's not who you think he is

You are the loneliest person that I’ve ever met.
You looked at my eyes being brave,
But I only saw you were afraid.
You talked too much about things that I’ve never asked.
Did you mean to tell me?
Or you were scared if I asked you cannot hide?
You seemed to be strong, but the truth is you are fragile than anyone else.
Are you ready to reveal who you are?
I am afraid to trust a person like you.
Someone like you like playing games.
It’s much easier, right?
Rather than being quite true to yourself.
Once, you’ve told me I was afraid to be judged,
Honestly, we all are. I am and you too.
We are all scared in this world who easily criticize little details.
However, you are coward.
You just simply get away.
And suddenly you stopped running away.
When you saw the shadow you became calm,
For you, It was a light of hope.
A sudden relief to reveal yourself without worry.
Should I feel happy? Or it was only another scheme.

I wrote this for the person who came into my life for a short while. He don't trust easily to anyone, but he started to act different to me. And then I was looking at him and I know I felt right away that he was just lonely and broken.

#reveal #whoweare #not #easy

Sachiko Jul 2018

Photograph

He looked at his object with an eye.
So, he came closer to clarify.
An angle that will compliment for each element.
A product that can make a statement.
He chose the bright colors to incorporate.
Because her smile suited a great light.
He focused the subject, and suddenly it was fading.
She was started running.
Running, from the picture perfect life that he created.
She was a medium of unrealistic bliss.
And found herself out of nowhere.
People envied her but they didn’t know the truth.
She was missing the unfiltered life.
She spaced out, and her heart was bruised.
He was definitely imaginative.
And fooled by unreachable perspective.
He looked at his object with an eye.
Thinking, with her was a root of a great life.

I wrote this during the fall season, and at the same time my brother and his girlfriend broke up. And that situation was my inspiration to just write as I see him every single day trying to figure out all the answers to all his questions.

#picture #perspective #photograph #unfiltered #life