a lot of amazing women have loved me.
a nurse from Izmir
with almond eyes
and a quite confidence
that snuck out in her laugh.
both of us with lust for life,
and each other.
a teacher from Christchurch
with a competitive fire
who whispered me a confession,
under cover of a rattling train,
that was never heard.
our first night together left me in the hospital,
I still returned for more.
a co-worker from San José,
a sunflower in the wind,
untameably independent.
her smile buckled knees,
her touch left me thoughtless,
her voice felt like home.
a lot of amazing women have loved me.
and I sit here,
staring at this page,
trying to see what they saw.
and it's blank.
I spend a lot of time thinking about what others see in us that we cannot see in ourselves. How we can be loved by amazing people we respect but still not find our own value. The search for self-worth is an important one.