I am not strong
Never will be
Cant be
So stop telling me to be

Please stop hurting me at night
Your making me feel not right
I feel so abnormal due to you
So my hardest plead let me go
Free me from your cluthes
Wave me goodbye
Tell me I am a sket one thousend times
While I sleep the voices that scream
But don't play the grousmosue memories
Of a child being *****
I am tired
Of not sleeping
In the fear
That the memory will reappear

I am finally happy
All my pain and sorrows have gone away
yes in a week without no therpy
I have recovered the endless sadness
And the long lasting hatred
I can be happy for real now
Not put a front on
I can smile now
Without hidding my fear
My nightmares stopped
No more tears
No more flashbacks
No more pain
How happy am I
That everything is sunshine
And everything's beutiful
I have let go of the evil monster
But i hope you know
That i lied
Nothing's changed

The voice in my head
That hates me so much
That tells me to cut
As much As I want
And i don't but want to
Let my emotions out
But i cant do this no more
Deja vue is releasing itself
This time last year I cut and got sent to hospital
And it was a bad place
So please voice in my head
Let me go

I dont know what to feel
I don't know what to say
All my mind does is cry everyday
I silently scream, i silently cry
I dont want nobody to hear me
Incase they send me back there
The place where all the sick people go
The place where i once went
Spent a week in agoney
And now i got a fear.

I don't know what to feel
Or say
Do i have the right to say
That i am one step closer to my mind exploding.

This may be hard to hear and feels like i am stating a streotype comment
But for all those surviors of ****** abuse
I just want to let you know your not alone
I know everyday is a sturggle to get out of bed
Constent worrying and pain
And the questions that wont let go
You just want to end it all
You think its your fault and even if the world was telling you its not your sitting there thinking Oh my god please just shut up
I understand that but just know its okay not to be okay
And i know you feel ***** and you want to hurt yourself,blame yourself
And even if i tell you dont do it your letting the monster win
It makes no difference
So what i am going to say is hold on tight i know the journey is painful
But once you reach it will be raimbows
The nightmares the flashbacks  i know its painful
I know it hurts more then anything
But i promise you that as long as your safe
No hands will ever touch you again
I know its hard and cry all you want
But once your finshed be sure to know that you can do it again whenever you want
Your not a victim you Are a survivor


But the truth is i will never know your pain
Nobody can ever guess what you might me going through
All you know is what your going through
But empathy is somthing that only works to an extent....
This is what i go through...

Panic, worry and fear
All sounding around me
Nobody can see how much my anxity is frightening me,
Counsellors, teachers they telling me there is nothing wrong with me,
My family they telling me stop acting so crazy
"Attention seeker"
"Using your past to get away with things"
They all say its normal to feel the way you do after the abuse
I feel abnormal what should i do?
How can i see the world around me
Its spinning around i can barely see
I am a broken bird i want to fly
Escape my pain, the nightmares the cries and the flashabacks not leaving my sight,
They tell me breathe and it will be fine
They tell me that a thosend times
"Your safe now nobody will HURT you"
One day i will recover
From the constent pain
Without nobody to see
The magic that happend to me