Maybe 10 years from today,
Maybe only 1 year away,
Or even just 1 day,
I will be able to say...

I wrote a poem when I died...
Another at my birth.
A brand-new sonnet when I cried.
And again when there was mirth.

A song for my confession...
A story for my pain...
A painting for depression...
And nursery rhymes for rain.

My creations live inside my heart.
I keep them there in shame.
Yet you looked around and saw my art,
And smiled all the same.

Torrents of water slamming
Emotions
Whipping me away

And I
Am swimming against it
Because I decide

But try as I might
I cannot turn the current

Keep your head held high
even if the suns Rays blind you for daring to gaze up at the sky
Never let them Cowards see you sweat even when it’s pouring down your neck
If you fall get back up again
and kick societies *** make sure you ******* Win

the difference between her and I is that she is desperate for you and your attention I wanted to love you I mean really love you, what I thought was space to clear the negative energy was space for you to settle..... I know you don’t crave her she's just willing to do what you want..
well so was I but I know I’m no easy ride
you should have called and let me know that you cared  but instead u honored ya pride that you claimed to put aside.
for 3 months now all I have done is cried
vivid images of you and I as your bride
I’m so ****** up in the head now
cause I still love you I wanted you from the moment you made my heart push any other that dared to compare to the side
you saying those cold words to me it crushed my pride
my love can be so deep I wanted to show you I really tried
it still hurts that every time I see you my body wants to shuts down and I must hide
I’ll never have the courage to tell you how much you hurt me to **** hard to describe
so I’ll leave it here instead of keeping it all inside
**** I wanted to love you ....  but you couldn’t push ya pride to the side...

It should be me that you’re kissing
but it will be me that your missing
up late at night hoping praying wishing
stuck in the dating world straight endless  Cat fishing
it should be me holding u tight every night  
your name still sizzles at that back of my throat more than Mc Donald’s Sprite
constant memories of you My Beautiful Tragedy so I write

Why do I still see HIM in my dreams
to have this feeling of heartbreak…
for a man I haven’t even kissed
there has been a few that when things were over It wasn’t easy to digest …
but not like this… I feel like our souls connected it so this can’t be truly over
or was I just connected to HIM in hopes that he would save me like I knew only a man with his exact strength could
or is it just the fact that unlike most HE wasn’t in a rush to kiss on these lips
HE really wasn’t in a rush to kiss on the lips as soft as this
I really do miss you…
for the things I know we had potential to explore with each other
pillow fights date nights long walks in the park conversations that never seem to end late nights just you and I no covers all the lights so I could see the cold parts that Pierced your eyes shine bright no where left to hide at the door is where we left all pride
I wish I could rewind that night I should had told u my submissive heart would never had said no if he’d just came out with it.. just asked
****
my gut aches in pain at the thought of you
I never ever share my secrets I should have just listen to yours and not said anything about Mine  would I feel any better?
This **** is still hurts because I miss you
you said you moved on so there’s nothing left to do
except pretend I never met you
sun up to sun Down my spirit wanted u around

I feel so foolish never again I must hold true to myself I must hold my ground