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We took turns
placing headphones
on each other and
plugging them into
our hearts in hopes
that we would be able
to hear all the things
we should have said
 Jun 2017 Dany The Girl
A
Love
 Jun 2017 Dany The Girl
A
"I love you,"

I said.

He replied,

"Good night."

That night

I knew

what love was for me

was a dream to him
sad
Quit picking at your old wounds! Stop going for walks in aches and pains you already made it through. You call it healing... yet it sounds like a good way to take the haunted with you.

    Loneliness is a no vacancy sign for an empty room on the backside of your chest. There will never be enough people to love that emptiness out of you. Love won't save you!
Only you will save you! Remember no matter how much you think you need a voice at the other end of the line...

     It's a felony to call 911 just because you need someone to talk to.
You can't shrink into radio static and heavily breathe on the other end of your phone. Your aching doesn't end in an ambulance! Now breathe... yes you may have heard this once or twice. But BREATHE!

    I know you got ribs like on the wrongside of a fist fight. That's from hyperventilating. Your lungs just survived a car crash from the inside of your body. Be gentle... please! Find the pocket of your heartbeat where you keep forgiveness. We will try again tomorrow!

    I know you got a bone to pick with tomorrow... but too late it's coming. Listen in a few hours your withered world will turn herself right side up again and you'll forget all about tonight. The night she left you to drown in her song of blues!

    Your will make sense again. You think you've seen every ugly corner that our erupting Earth offers. Yet there are an infinite number of things we don't know and... statistically speaking half of the unknown is beautiful!
I was opening the door,
When I saw her,
Little pregnant cat,
She was sitting on the edge,
I was scared, I will not lie,
In my perception they were cruel,
That's what I thought at that time,
I quickly ran to my mother,
Told her about the cat,
She suggested to bring some milk,
So that I could go past her,
Without any scar or mark,
With some will power, I opened that door,
She got excited just from the smell,
Her tail was wagging as she was,
She jumped down and started drinking,
I quickly closed the door,
So that she would not sneak in,
I was about to run away,
When my curiosity got in the way,
I turned back, and that day I saw an angel,
Instead of a cruel monster I imagined her to be,
She was beautiful, no doubt,
And soon to be mother,
I don't know why, but I was proud,
It's still a mystery how she made me love her,
Because if she didn't come knocking,
I would be just another girl,
My dark heart would have overtaken my soul,
I would have been nothing,
But unhappy and lonely girl.
When I was a little girl I met this sweet cat who was pregnant with kittens who later on became our house cats.
 Jun 2017 Dany The Girl
Daisy Rae
Thigh gaps
Twenty laps
Too many naps
I look at an apple & see
60 calories
Help me please
Get me out of this hell hole
I hate playing the "skinny role"
I lost count for today
The calculator in my brain
It's overloaded
I have to stay focused
It can't keep up with me
Maybe I should just stop eating
My hip bones gut out
Unnaturally
My cheek bones are hollow
Deadly
"Looks like you lost weight"
"You're unhealthy"
I'm glad you noticed
But the scale is my worst enemy
And the mirror tells me lies
But I continue to go by
Like a zombie
It's not a game
It's no longer a hobby
It's something very real
And this time it got me
It's dragging me down
Please, somebody stop me!
When my body arches
My backbone protrudes
You can count my ribs
As if they might go through
They're right when they say all I am is
Skin & bones
You should have seen my chart
All my body fat was gone
It dipped down to the lowest line
108 to 82
All those pounds that I had to lose
Just to have the perfect body
But to lose myself in the process
It wasn't worth the upset
That I brought to every one around me
So for this reason they had to stop me
I used to think that doctors were the devil
But I learned that they were saviors
And without them I'd be six feet under
It was hard at first
But eventually the calculator in my head died
And the scale no longer mattered to me
And the mirrors didn't seem to scream at me
My thighs are healthy and exuberant
I no longer run because I have to but for the fun of it
I finally have energy and naps are a thing of the past
Please God I hope this time
It lasts
Because now when I look at an apple
I just see
*an apple
When I was 14 years old I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, an eating disorder. In the US, 20 million women and 10 million men suffer from an eating disorder at some time in there life. These include anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder (BED), and other unspecified eating disorders. For various reasons, some cases are not reported, so the number could be higher. Every 62 minutes at least one person dies from some form of eating disorder. And it currently has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.
You can make it out of this, this will not control you. Please get help if you suffer from an eating disorder. You are absolutely wonderful just the way you are.
~ANAD (National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders)
Never fall in love with a poet
for their words are sometimes lies
on occasions they're a shield
on occasions a disguise

They will take you on a journey
upon which they bare their soul
in a bid to ease your burdens
in a bid to make you whole

But in every word they choose
for the stories that they tell
lies a little piece of heaven
and a little piece of hell

Tormented souls we poets are
sometimes quite broken and despaired
in search of lost expressions
missed by others who once cared

Never fall in love with a poet
unless you're prepared to share their pain
to hold them close on the darkest nights
over and again
Follow me on Twitter @athomashawkins
http://twitter.com/athomashawkins
A fat little girl
              ....
A small little child with curly brown hair
Chubby, pink cheeks with skin so fair
Eats, enjoys, indulges and more
Everyone says "she's full for sure"

A fat little girl
              ....
A sweet little girl, with long pigtails
Sees all the girls, and wonders why she fails
They all have friends, but why doesn't she
How come they're all so happy

A fat little girl
              ....
A shy little girl, afraid to face her school
Everyone laughs, she's fat and 'uncool'
Sitting alone each and every day
Wondering why they treat her this way

A fat little girl
              ....
A mature little girl, much for her age
Looks at the number on the scale enraged
Hating herself and what she's become
Wishing to see all her bones such as some

A fat little girl
              ....
A fat little girl, no food on her plate
Determined as hell to lose all this weight
Her friends and her family, see her each day
More and more frail, withering away

A sick little girl
              ....
A skeleton of a girl, who once was happy and bright
Her eyes now dark and hollowed at night
Clinging to life with her small, bony hands
Regretting all childhood reprimands

A dead little girl
                 ....
A dead little girl, now merely a corpse
Leaving everyone behind feeling remorse
A closed casket service, nothing left to show
Wants to be be remembered as we all know
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