the ocean waves crash in and out
          in and out
                              in
                      and
              out
on a loop
            loop
               loop
                  loop
repeat after repeat repeat repeat
         again and again and again and again
a force pushes them
            a force pulls them
                                     push                  pull
                                          push          pull
                                             push     pull
                                                pushpull
like clockwork
like a magnet
-you & i

The hardest part about everything
is everything is so hard

Back to front it envelopes,
I don't  know just where it starts

I’m not loathsome, I’m lonesome
but the feelings not far apart

My compass pulls me North,
does your heart feel mine reaching out

Like the prints on my tips,
is your kiss on my lips

Forever feeling the lack of you,
the absence lingers heavy in the air

Always make
          Yourself
                   A priority
                            For
                               At
                                   The
                                         End
                                                Of
             ­                                       The
                                         Day
               You’re your longest commitment

You tried to burn me down
I tried to burn you down

Instead of charcoal
We became a crackle

We tried to burn it down
but we lit each other up

Our hearts became kindling
Melded together, fed the fire

Our breaths tried to blow it out
Swirling together, stoking the embers

We tried to be just a flame
We became a bonfire.

I wanted numb
I wanted to be a certain thing
I wanted to release myself to the wave of the world
I wanted to be taken away and washed on shore

But I don't want to feel nothing
I can that feel with the rawest sting
The burn of life pulses through my bones and prickles at my skin

You can pour water on me to put me out,
I will sizzle and smoke and rise higher and more fiercely
Laughing as I look you in the eye.

I used to think with my eyes downcast even when closed.
Behind a wall, shielding me,
protecting me from having to follow my dreams

Of the boredom that comes with passionately saying, ‘this is what I love!’
Because, how tedious is it to commit to your dreams?
How boring to practice and practice and practice and practice.

Just saying the word,  practice feels like practice for something.
Practice, Practice, Practice
Practice..

It’s uncomfortable
It is off-putting
Too many words, and the flow is all of.

It’s. Not. The. Right. Rhythm.
or.the.right.feel,
esmegnsiht osklo gnorw.

So, I’d rather go numbly through life
biding my life by
till someone does it for me?

No one is going to tell me who I am.
No one is going to know my thoughts,
or hear my voice,

Unless or until I open my mouth and tell them.
Every thought I think is a statement
So every move I make must matter.

My voice is my strength and my gift
It should be weird that people don’t know that about me.
I am not the timid voice with roaring inner thoughts kept to myself.

How can other people know me for how I know me
if I don’t tell them who I am.

So here it goes.
This is who I am.
This is what  I will fight for.

The discovery of self.
The belief in self.

The belief in my dreams.
The discovery of my dreams.

I think therefore I am? Does that mean I am what I think?
Can’t I practice what I preach
or must I be bound to the thoughts
that produce themselves
show unwelcome
with no signs of departing
leaving me heaving and seething
that is not who I am
I am who I want to be
who I decide to be
so how do I explain what I have become
is this really me?
Sad and lonely and scared to be free
maybe for a moment
but I’m on my way
to my self

they always say
you fall in love
fall
like a quick painful accident
or a long free for all plummeting down with no end in sight

thats not how I'd say it
not how I think our love was made to be
we were made to rise up
not fall down

we're not falling, we're flying
we're soaring
our love is the eagles feathers flying on the sunrise
the gust of wind not from the weather
but our own beating heart wings
The hot and powerful gusts of air with each pulse

I don’t feel lost to a downward spiral
I feel compelled to reach forward
eyes wide open, glimmering with the smirk of love
love swallowed us whole
longing to ingest us

but instead we became love
we digested it
we are it
we are the love that is in every fiber
and atom
and minuscule fragment of being between us

you may be there and I may be here
but where I am you are
and you're not there, I’m here
so together in the flesh simply means
to be you and me