What was it about that moment that made him love you less?
Was it that you needed him, and he was supposed to be the one needing you?
Was it the use of it? That you didn’t share, simply asked of him?
Was it the failure?
Or was it just that before you were unmarred, unblemished,
An unreality?
And then all at once you were just like everyone else.
What was it that made him love you less?

you say you’re not a poet but
with a girl like that,
how could you speak
anything less than
the stars?
-a.c.b

i love you more than i’ve ever loved anyone, i think;
i love you in a way that feels important, wide open and vulnerable.
there’s a hole in my chest. gaping,
but filled all the way through.
like the stars i have purpose, i am radiating, so intense my bones rattle.

i wish you could see.

You think I romanticise suicide?
That I can find glory in death?

You're wrong.

I don't hope for romance, there is no romance in laying six feet deep.

Being defeated by your own mind holds no glory, there is no pride in suicide.

You say...
Get over it.
You can fight this.
It's only in your mind.

And you're right.

It's only im my mind so stop telling me how I feel.

So shut up.

I know it's weak.
Selfish... but it is my choice.
I know you think it's a choice to be happy.
If it was did you really think I would choose this?

sadness
pain
depression

Suicide

Trying to write a goodbye.
Wondering about the music for my funeral.

Suicide

I'm always scared but fighting.
I am weak but never giving up.
Never giving in.

I don't think this is fun.
This is suicide your talking about.
No romance.

Empty of joy and glory.
Suicide.
A way out.

When you are laughing so hard
It's hard to breath
But you can't stop that smile

When you think of your crush
You are just so happy
Your smile is effortless
It just happens
A reaction

Then there is the one
That you are so used to
That one where you have to use all of the muscles in your face
It takes all of your energy
Because it's so hard to fake now a days

A smile can tell so much
And nothing at all

Because people can't see what's behind closed doors
And a wide smile